What Happens Here Stays Here
by mackenzie925
Summary: Harm and Mac work to find alone time in Las Vegas. However, the story doesn't stop there as Harm must deal with a frightening dream ... NEW Chapter 12!
1. Alone Time

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here**  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
PAIRING: Harm and Mac  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own JAG or any part of it  
  
**Author's Note:** This has turned into a companion piece to my previous JAG story, Revealing Souls. It isn't the sequel I am writing, but merely a short extension of the first part. I decided to have a little fun with Harm and Mac, because I enjoy writing their relationship. This is a writing in progress, so I have no clue how long it will be or where I will take all of my readers. I've been writing whatever comes, so I hope you like it! Again, Reviews are always welcome!!! Thanks for reading!!!  
  
**_Chapter Title: Alone Time  
_**  
**JAG Headquarters **

**Falls Church, VA **

**1500 EST  
**  
The cold weather outside only made the week more unbearable, the chilling breeze of October brushing through the red, brown, and orange colored trees. This time of year could be beautiful and enjoyable, yet Colonel Mackenzie only felt her spine shudder in reaction to the change of season. She should be happy considering the good events happening in her life, though this week Mac barely remembered such happiness dealing with case after case. The files on her desk seemed to tower above her head, not including the many she carried constantly through the bullpen, to the elevator and back again. If asked, Mac would think she was the only person working this week, considering everyone else's delightful mood.  
  
Now standing in the elevator with a dozen other people, holding the files that had not left her arm for the past three days, and carrying her enormously heavy bag full of the other case files and research, the heat generated by the amount of people surrounding her almost caused her to faint. Exhaustion seemed part of the reason, though the heavy burden of carrying so many cases at once seemed to be apart of the problem, as well. Admiral Krennick, the new JAG, tended to give Mac a lot of responsibility, to the point where it didn't seem she would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Certainly Mac enjoyed the challenge, and would never disobey a direct order, but the load started to become overwhelming. Luckily each of her cases touched upon conclusion during the past few days, meaning the weight would soon be lifted.  
  
Stepping out of the elevator and into the bullpen, the only work Mac wanted to do for the next five minutes was sit and take a small break before spending the rest of the afternoon swimming in court cases. Honestly, Mac couldn't remember the last break she took recently, testifying to her desperate need for one. Fumbling for her keys as she reached her office door, Mac didn't remember the files in her arms falling to the ground in a scattered pile. Only Coates rushing over to aid her and Mac's own curse word as she bent down to retrieve them brought her back to reality. If she were to disclose where her thoughts settled in the moment before she dropped the files, she would be court-martialed. Yet her eyes took a glance at a vacant office across the way, indicating the person whom she wanted to see was gone.  
  
"Woah, are you okay, ma'am?" Coates called, beginning to gather the files together as best she could. Mac sighed deeply, irritated that she would have to organize the mess once again, a task she did a million times this week.  
  
Mac replied, half upset and half angry, "I'm fine." As they both stood, Coates carrying part of the burden, Mac finally fumbled for the correct key once again to open the door to space that offered her retreat from these daily activities, if only for a minute.

Before Mac had a chance to open the door completely, Coates hurriedly informed, "Uh, ma'am, before I forget, you received a package today."  
  
Turning with curiosity towards the Petty Officer, Mac asked with slight disbelief, "A package?" Depending on the contents of such a package, it was safe to assume it would not be something she should look forward to see. Her plate overflowing, a package only indicated more work and stress. Probably from Admiral Krennick, the woman who gave Mac this enormous workload. She hardly knew which way was up, confusing case files, and barely getting to court on time between all of her appointments. Interviewing witnesses, court appearances, and research did not leave Mac much time to eat and sleep, let alone rest.  
  
At that moment, Mac opened the door to see the one package she did not expect; a dozen red roses. Hardly able to keep her smile hidden, Mac walked cautiously over to them, seeing a card, admiring as the sun fought through the drawn blinds to glimmer specks of light off of the red petals and onto the darkened ceiling. The clear vase only added to the initial shock and magic the flowers portrayed. Setting the files down on her desk, she heard Coates reply, "I hope it's okay, to put them on your desk, Colonel." Mac only nodded, surrendering to the flowers' beauty. Coates then quickly asked, "Where did you want these?"  
  
Mac quickly looked to the Petty Officer, realizing she left her friend with a handful of cases. "Sorry, you can just put them on top of these," Mac indicated, stepping back as Coates set the files she held onto down on top of the pile already created. Mac's eyes didn't leave the roses, still infatuated with their overwhelming power. Whoever picked these out for her certainly wanted to make her day a good one.  
  
Coates saw Mac's reaction, deciding to bravely ask, "Who are they from, ma'am?"  
  
Mac smirked, knowing full well who they were from, yet remembering that the relationship she had with Harm must stay secret. After their efforts at Guantonomo Bay, Cuba, and the personal barriers they overcame as a couple, Harm and Mac were even more determined to keep their relationship a secret. They loved each other deeply, and revealing too much too soon to their friends might have horrible consequences if they were not careful. In light of this, Mac lied, "I don't know." Then she reached over, added, "But there's a card." Opening it, the card simply read; To My Marine, and then signed simply 'Love'. Harm knew better than to put his own name, realizing that Mac certainly would have no trouble knowing its origin.  
  
Coates took a small glimpse at the card, over Mac's shoulder, grimacing, "There's no name." This irritated Coates, who has kept a close eye on Harm and Mac for quite some time. She had every reason to believe that the two were in a relationship together, yet there was no proof, only circumstantial evidence. Hoping to end the mystery with this gift, Coates found herself utterly disappointed and back to square one. Though she still believed the flowers were from the Commander, Coates replied playfully, "Looks like you have a secret admirer, ma'am."  
  
Mac mused at that statement. Secret indeed. With Harm's time this week sapped by an important political case involving the Secretary of the Navy, and Mac bogged down with at least 10 different cases at a time, they did not see much of each other the entire week. Mac intended on changing that statistic this weekend, planning on spending most of those two days in Harm's arms. She hoped these flowers indicated Harm's own restlessness for the weekend to arrive as soon as possible. However, more often than not, flowers usually meant Harm wanted something. Certainly he sent them to make her happy, but that would only be one reason to the many he had in mind. This knowledge only came from knowing Harm as well as she did.  
  
"I don't know, I think she's hiding something from all of us," a voice called from behind them, both Coates and Mac turning to see Harm standing there, arms crossed over his chest, checking out the flowers with great interest. He lifted his eyebrow slightly at Mac, waiting for her to answer, waiting to see how she would deal with his statement.  
  
Mac laughed lightly, responding with great amusement, "I receive gifts like this quite often, and the men who send them always have huge egos, think they're so great, when actually they're insane." Mac glanced to Harm with innocent eyes, seeing his attempt to hide the shock on his face. He probably knew she was merely joking, yet Mac would not get out of this room without him questioning her remarks. Switching her stare to Coates, she saw the young woman chuckling, highly amused with the Colonel's statements. Mac decided to add, "Don't you hate it when guys can't take the hint?"  
  
Coates displayed a wide grin, trying very hard not to laugh as she answered back confidently, "Yes, ma'am." Then she left, closing the door behind her, leaving Harm and Mac alone in the office.  
  
Mac gave him a quick wink as she behind her desk to sort through a few of her files, seeing Harm trying very hard not to be hurt. Yet Mac intended on showing him her appreciation, and replied warmly, "Thank you, Harm. You're very sweet."  
  
Harm shrugged as walked closer to her desk, upset that the desk acted as an unnecessary barrier between the two of them. Not seeing his Mac for a week had been torture. Instead of walking briskly to her and kissing her passionately, he stated instead, "I know you've had a rough week." Just looking at her he could see this. Being with Mac allowed him special access to her personal welfare and moods, a window into her soul that no one else could see. From afar, he saw it, and he saw the difficulties, the need for her to break way, if only for a day or so.  
  
Mac saw his eyes staring into hers, the worry laced there. In response, Mac moved carefully around the desk to walk up to him, wrapped her arms around him, stared up into that handsome face. He tried to be there for her during this past week, despite his time taken completely by the Secretary of the Navy. Though their relationship progressed to places neither expected, they still only stayed at each other's apartments half the time, mostly because of work. However, Mac sensed the change coming, the time when she would see Harm every night, no matter what. "Thank you for the flowers. And I do not think you are a freak," Mac mused, kissing him lightly.  
  
Harm smirked, wrapping his arms around her waist a little tighter. "And the ego comment?" he asked, mocking hurt, as he returned her kiss, capturing her lips softly.  
  
Mac caressed his face, replying between kisses, "Well, I'm still working on that."  
  
Harm huffed, "If you don't take it back, I'll take back the flowers." Mac laughed, holding him a little tighter, trying to immobilize him. Harm smiled widely, bending down to kiss her, all the while reaching a hand over to grab the flowers, trying playfully to distract her as she giggled against his lips. Though Harm tried, he knew he couldn't distract her for too long, as Mac grabbed his hands, holding them together between the two of them as she leaned back slightly with a wide grin.  
  
"No, no, I want to know why you gave me those flowers," Mac replied, kissing him again.  
  
Harm shrugged, replying sheepishly, "Because I wanted to make you happy."  
  
Mac nodded as she stepped back now, but keeping their hands entwined together. Though he attempted to show no other reason for the flowers, Mac knew better. Not that Harm didn't want to make her happy, knowing flowers tended to brighten her day. However, Harm always had a few reasons for doing certain things, and one of them was getting flowers. Being romantic came easily for the two of them, but flowers in the middle of the day suggested something more. "And?" Mac insisted.  
  
Harm sighed, finally breaking, saying quietly, "As an apology." Though the sentiment was very sweet, Mac couldn't remember Harm doing anything wrong. They certainly argued, seemingly once a week, though because of the craziness of the previous few days, they did not have a chance to engage in such bantering. Maybe Harm was apologizing now before the impending argument, Mac mused, yet she knew that probably was not the true reason.  
  
Squeezing his hands, Mac asked curiously, "Apology? For what?"  
  
Harm stepped away; obviously upset with the information he was about to give. Mac only hoped the information was not so bad that buying the flowers could not cover the damage. Better to hope, Mac thought, that the flowers overcompensated. Rarely did Harm do something like this, which explained Mac's confusion to such an act. Everyday she learned something knew about him. "I'm apologizing for," he began with great regret lacing his voice, "leaving this afternoon to the U.S.S. Seahawk. I was just assigned a case."  
  
Mac nodded and tried to hide her own regret, the previous excitement for the weekend melting away quickly. She almost wanted to argue the problem, hurt that he would be leaving her alone this weekend after such a difficult week, expecting him to be there for her, act like her boyfriend. However, she knew such anger was unwarranted, Harm having no control over such a schedule, of the assignments handed down by Krennick. Neither of them could control this, Mac's own crazy week testifying to that. "Oh," Mac reacted, stepping behind her desk. "Well, it's only for a few days, right?"  
  
Harm nodded, walking right up to her desk, seeing the disappointment. He felt the same, and felt the chance this weekend gave them to become that much closer, all of it cast away with the few words he said. They would just have to wait until he returned. "Right."  
  
Mac glanced to him, his eyes giving away his regret, knowing full well what they would miss with him gone. She knew she could not let this get her down, sensing that when Harm returned, they would be together. Only a few days, Mac reminded herself. Nothing to fret or worry about. Having the weekend to herself might be just as good as sharing it with Harm. Though, Mac mused, she would have difficulty convincing herself of that. "When do you leave?"  
  
Harm replied, with more regret, "This afternoon."  
  
Mac nodded, moving around the desk to face Harm, taking his hands in hers as she stepped up to him. "Ok," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him, kissing him lightly, and added, "Until then."  
  
Harm nodded, returning the kiss with a calm passion, allowing his lips to trace over hers. At that moment, he didn't care who might catch them, who might walk in, who might interrupt their moment. It would be their moment as he deepened the kiss ever so slightly, feeling Mac match his passion, her lips soft but demanding against his own. Yet they knew it couldn't last as both broke it mutually, Mac taking in Harm's scent before he left. Only a few days, Mac thought.  
  
**Mac's Apartment  
  
Georgetown, VA  
  
1900 EST  
**  
The night remained quiet and calm as Mac returned to her apartment, parking her car, and walking into her building. The day, compared to the rest of the week, ended uneventful, especially with Harm's departure. Dealing with the constant changes in the Navy schedules came naturally as the years of service went by, and Mac knew she couldn't be angry or upset, though both feelings raged inside of her. What Harm and Mac were on the brink of was something neither had seen before. Something different, life- changing. Each sensed something extraordinary happening between the two of them, the intimate moments of soul sharing. Connecting with someone so deeply was certainly new to Mac, though, to be perfectly honest, she always felt it with Harm before the relationship began. The connection always existed.  
  
Only one weekend, sure, Mac thought again. Yet she couldn't erase the feelings of needing Harm, afraid of such an implication, never needing someone so desperately and with every inch of her. Maybe it was merely the difficult week, the need to break away from JAG for a few days. Maybe. Sighing, she opened the door, the silence of an empty apartment hitting her like a brick wall. Stepping into the blanket of warm air, Mac set her briefcase on the floor, hung her coat on the coat rack next to the door.  
  
Walking across the room, she felt her body begin to release the tension, as if her soul knew this weekend would be full of rest and relaxation. Maybe there was no Harm, but there certainly would be long bubble baths, eating cheesecake, and reading a good book; the desires of her soul, save Harm. The moon gave off only a small shade of light across the room, giving Mac the ability to reach her bedroom to get ready for a bath. Opening the door and entering, what she saw shocked her, never expecting to see such a sight in her bedroom. Well, she mused, maybe in her most passionate dreams.  
  
Roses. All around her bedroom, covering almost every inch. Around those roses sat candles, shimmering in the deep darkness of the room. On the bed, rose petals thrown aimlessly, yet strewn with love and expectation. Standing next to the one window, only the mixture of the moon and the candles casting a light glow, Harm revealed himself. In his hand he held more roses, clothed fully in his dress whites, looking more handsome than Mac had ever seen. "Harm," Mac whispered breathlessly.  
  
He smiled warmly, stepping more into the light, whispering back, "You said you were a sucker for dress whites and gold wings."  
  
Mac smiled broadly, feeling a giddiness fill her to the brim. Yet what surfaced was denial, remembering the last conversation they shared previously during the day. "I thought you were going out to a carrier," Mac pointed out, though not caring if this meant she must hide Harm for the entire weekend. She could do that, she mused, stepping closer to him.  
  
Harm shrugged sheepishly as he stepped closer to her, now only inches apart from one another. Handing the flowers to her, he answered simply, "I lied." Mac took the flowers, taking in their wonderful scent, though unsure if the scent came from the flowers she was holding or the million surrounding her. That didn't matter much as she matched his deep gaze, his eyes like oceans she swam in every chance she could.  
  
Placing the flowers on the dresser behind her, she moved to him again, asking quietly, "Why?" She didn't like him lying to her, though, under the circumstances, she was sure he had a good reason.  
  
Harm felt his heart race a little, already excited about what was to come. Not being there for Mac for the entire week angered and upset him greatly. He felt a need to make it up to her, show her that despite JAG and the troubles this past week Mac would always be his number one priority. She was the air to him, a person in which he had to be with as often as possible. Seeing Mac struggling the past few days hurt Harm quite a bit, especially when he couldn't do much to help. However, this weekend he would do everything. Since the relationship began only a few months before, they had yet spent a weekend away together, alone, away from the business of Washington and JAG. Harm really felt it was time for this important step to be taken. "Because I wanted to surprise you," Harm answered quietly, reaching for her hand.  
  
Mac stepped into his arms, tracing her hands along the torso of his uniform, the fabric soft underneath her touch. "You did a good job," Mac whispered, letting their eyes meet together, in that moment. Any stress during the entire week drifted away. Yet Mac sensed more here, Harm's intentions only partly revealed. "But you didn't have to anger me by telling me you were leaving," Mac chided playfully, placing a small kiss on his chin. Mac only wanted to be in his arms, just like this, sharing, soul searching, and not just for the weekend but for the rest of their lives.  
  
Harm separated himself slightly, reaching back to the bed to grab a small envelope. Handing it to Mac, he felt confident in this next step, where it would take them, the journey becoming more enjoyable. Their inability to tell their friends of the relationship did hinder doing such activities as going away together for a weekend. He sensed Mac might be feeling the same way, and what better time than a weekend following such a difficult week to take this next important step. "Open it," Harm insisted with a grin.  
  
Mac smirked slightly, seeing the delight in Harm's features. Whatever this gift might be, Harm certainly was excited to give it to her. Taking the envelope from Harm, she tore it open gently, taking out two airline tickets. Smiling widely, she turned them around to see where they were going: Las Vegas. Laughing lightly, Mac remembered only once revealing her guilty pleasure of wanting to visit that particular city. Yet Harm remembered, and better yet, implied what Mac hoped; they were going on their first vacation together. Still slightly unbelieving the events, she asked for clarification, "Las Vegas? This weekend?"  
  
Harm nodded as he wrapped his arms around her a little tighter, ever feeling like the luckiest man on the face of the earth. He felt this way every instance he allowed his eyes to travel the soul of Sarah Mackenzie, overwhelmed by the strong character and deep secrets lying there. Not only would this time away with each other give them a chance to strengthen the strong connection in their relationship, but it would also give them well- deserved relaxation time. "Yeah, it's all set. I got us both the time off, told Krennick that you were extremely exhausted and wanted Monday off. If you want to go, of course," Harm assured, wanting to give her the chance to back out if she chose to do so.  
  
Mac moved her arms behind his neck, seeing his face turn from concern to excitement, as she answered mischievously, "I would not miss the chance to be alone with my sailor." She then winked at him, Harm feeling his heart jump into his throat, wishing they could run away to a private island and stay there for the rest of their lives. Just Mac's presence, the seduction in her eyes when she stared at him long enough, made his blood boil, his chest barely able to contain the excitement.  
  
Harm then moved to kiss her, capturing her lips with passion he rarely displayed, unable to believe the weekend that awaited them. Sure they spent weekends together, staying in one of their apartments most of the time, only leaving if they needed something very important. This time, however, Harm didn't have to control himself, could drape his arm around her as much as he wanted to, and could give her feather kisses as they walked aimlessly down the busy Las Vegas strip. Nothing held them back. As he thought of the numerous possibilities, he moved his kisses across her cheek and to her earlobe as Mac's hands moved to the back of his neck.  
  
Mac, feeling the passion arising in both of them, asked, "When do we leave?"  
  
Harm trailed his kisses to the side of her neck, feeling her pulse begin to quicken ever so slightly with every kiss, not to mention the speed of his own heart rate. It never took them long to get into the moment, especially when they didn't see each other as often as they would like. Their schedules just did not allow for too much alone time, so when such alone time finally occurred, they tended to take full advantage of it. Feeling Mac's hands go to the collar of his dress whites, unbuttoning, Harm responded breathlessly, "Probably in a few hours, to catch the flight."  
  
Mac nodded as she continued with his uniform, finally reaching the tie, fumbling with it slightly. "You're not wearing this to Vegas, right?" Mac asked innocently, placing kisses to his lips, his chin, and finally beginning to reach his neck. Always her kisses were soft and gentle, usually lulling Harm to calm, a peace. This reaction traced the intimacy they shared together, both falling into an amazing bliss of contentment, completeness, as if they could only live fully when they were together just like this.  
  
Harm traced his fingers to her uniform, an urgency building as Mac's lips brushed across his, feeling movement towards the bed of roses, whispering huskily, "I don't think you'll need your uniform, either." Barely realizing his actions now, Harm would only remember his lips opening to hers, feeling his uniform fall away, hands working underneath his T- shirt, sweet caresses on his stomach, his own mouth moving away, exploring, leaving kisses on Mac's now fully exposed neck, her own uniform falling away a bit at a time.  
  
Being like this with Harm would always be amazing, Mac letting go, exploring, succumbing to the man she loved more than life itself. It took them sometime to be comfortable with each other, yet once they crossed the barrier they never looked back. Harm was hers now, every inch of him, everything he was and wanted to be. All of it belonged to her. Such a thought made her shiver with excitement and anticipation as she traced her fingers across his stomach and to his chest, hearing small moan as they kissed deeply once again, exploring each other, the passion rising with every second as they finally reached the bed. Mac sat first, grabbing Harm's neck, lacing her hands around it as she pulled him down next to her.  
  
Yet the first feeling that traveled throughout Harm as he began to stretch out next to Mac was not exactly pleasure, feeling his upper leg burning with pain that he did not expect. "Ouch!" Harm uttered between kisses, letting go of Mac only enough to lift up slightly to see what hurt him, something sharp.  
  
Mac asked immediately, slightly out of breath, "What?" Giving Harm enough space, he reached underneath him, revealing to both of them a thorn.  
  
Both began to laugh, Mac cupping his face, caressing it, remarking playfully, "I didn't think I was a thorn in your side." Harm laughed, burying his face in Mac's neck as she pulled him down on top of her playfully, both lost in the humor of the moment. The only word Harm could think of was ironic considering the week they both just endured. They weren't meant to be together during this week, needing to wait until the weekend fully arrived. That would be ok, Harm intending on spending the entire time with Mac one way or another.  
  
Harm smiled widely, replying, "I guess we need to wait until Vegas." Mac smiled warmly, again grabbing his face, kissing him passionately, letting her lips travel over his mouth freely in a way that caused the hair on the back of his neck to tingle. The moment might be lost, but Mac intended on getting all she could out of it before there was nothing left. Harm moaned into the kiss, his hands coming back to life, reaching to her side.  
  
Yet Mac released, giving him one last, single, light kiss before whispering, "I think we should pack."  
  
Harm smirked, laughing lightly as he placed a kiss on her neck. "I had other things in mind, but the thorn popped my bubble," he joked, kissing her one last time before he moved off of her. Maybe not tonight, Harm thought, but soon they would be alone.  
  
**_... More to Come ...  
  
Reviews Welcome!! _**


	2. Raining

**TITLE:** **What Happens Here Stays Here**  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
PAIRING: Harm/Mac  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own JAG.  
  
**Author's Note:** A few things to mention; the story does take place after the final episode of the season. It actually takes place after the previous story I just wrote called "Revealing Souls", and in my A/N of those stories I disclose my decisions about the season finale and how I've decided to proceed with my fan fiction writing at the moment. Also my title for those who have questions refers to the Las Vegas slogan. Has everyone liked the story so far? Thank you so much for the reviews! They've encouraged me to keep writing and continue. Thanks for reading!!! Reviews Welcome!!!  
  
**_Chapter Title: Raining  
_**  
**Passenger Flight from Washington, D.C. to Las Vegas **

**1100 EST  
**  
Rain Delays. Harm hated rain delays. Especially when their flight took off after a two-hour delay because of the rainstorms in Washington. Now sitting on the plane, he felt his body wear a little from the long wait and the 4-hour plane ride awaiting them. He secured seats next to the window so they might see the Las Vegas strip while they flew over, but he forgot Mac's dislike of flying. Needless to say, Harm found himself staring out the window, the darkness of the night blanketing them in a sky of unknown territory. Flashing memories of long lost missions in a F14 Tomcat, flying over water, deserts, and through mountains. Rarely did he think of such times, but they never left him completely. Specifically the crash on the carrier, the most difficult time of his life, the event that changed everything for him, he remembered the most. He would never forget that, often keeping such memories deep inside him. Actually, it was a memory he even kept from Mac, speaking of it only in vague terms.  
  
Suddenly hearing his name called, Harm turned to see Mac staring at him. "Do you want something to drink?" she asked quietly.  
  
Harm shifted his gaze to the flight attendant waiting patiently for him to answer. All of the flashing memories began to fade away as he frantically thought of a word that would make sense, not wanting to reveal his daydreaming. Smiling, Harm replied simply, "Water." Good answer, Harm thought, as he folded his hands in his lap, thinking sleep might help him a bit.  
  
"Hey," Mac called subtly, reaching over to clasp his hand in hers, causing him to look up into her dark brown eyes. He saw concern there, for him in particular. Well, considering the last few minutes, no wonder she worried. Though thinking back to flying was something he did quite often, especially lately, with no real explanation. He smiled as she caressed his cheek, asking, "You okay?"  
  
Harm nodded, feeling calm and peaceful in Mac's presence. It didn't take long for her to make him feel better, and she knew how to accomplish this much quicker than before they were together. Just the idea that Mac was his girlfriend tended to be enough, but often spending the night in her arms also did the trick. However, his frequent glimpses to the lost adventures of flying a Tomcat he had yet shared with her. Maybe he should soon. Taking her other hand, Harm smiled with assurance, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking of spending the weekend with my favorite Marine."  
  
Mac matched his smile, reaching over to place a kiss on his nose, and whispered, "As long as I'm the only female Marine you're with."  
  
Harm smiled openly, intending on continuing with this little joke, stating with the most serious face he could muster, "You're the only female Marine. Though there is someone in the Navy ...". Before he could finish, however, Mac kissed him lightly, yet with intensity that made him quickly forget where he was. The fact that Mac knew how to get to him, knew what buttons to push reminded Harm of the power that Mac held. Yet Harm held that same power concerning Mac. As she released, Harm smirked a little and added, "Ok, I'll break it off with the Navy woman."  
  
Mac winked at him, grabbing his hand in hers as she leaned back in her seat. "I thought that would convince you," she joked, squeezing his hand as he, too, leaned back in his own seat, looking away, out the window.  
  
Already Mac thought the trip would be wonderful, being with Harm, sharing this precious time with him. As the relationship progressed during the past few months, Mac's personal need for Harm strengthened with each minute. Mac sensed the same conditions for Harm considering the amount of times he called her, wanted to see her, how many weekends they spent together per Harm's plans and request. They were beginning to become one. Yet the secret they hid became much more difficult, having to keep their feelings at bay every second until they were completely alone. Luckily on this trip, she wouldn't have to hold back. As she turned back to look at Harm, his eyes had drifted close and he was fast asleep. The relaxation began.  
  
**McCarran Airport **

**Las Vegas, NV **

**0100 MST  
**  
"It's raining here, too," Harm observed with a grimace as he stepped out of the airport, carrying his suitcase, as well as Mac's, and gazing up at the night sky, feeling the misty rain lightly dampening his face. Warmer air than Washington, certainly, but still rain. He pictured sunshine, maybe a few palm trees, walking the streets wearing sunglasses while holding Mac's hand. Now he only saw cab rides and running from building to building. If he wanted the two of them to spend the time indoors because of rain, he would've stayed in Washington, in bed with Mac, succumbing to hiding in one of their apartments for the entire time.  
  
Mac came up beside him, successfully grabbing a cab as it parked next to the entrance. "They say this is the first rain they've had in a year," Mac informed, having talked to a few people within the airport in simple conversation. Harm sighed as he ran swiftly to the trunk as it popped open, throwing the two suitcases inside, and then rushing to the other side of the car to jump in the back seat next to Mac. Now he was tired and wet, though the small canopy-like roof over the entrance to the airport kept him under cover most of the time.  
  
The cab driver looked up into his rearview mirror to catch Harm's attention, asking, "Where to?"  
  
Harm wiped some of the damp rain off of his face with his hand as he uttered, "Caesar's Palace." The driver nodded as he jolted into the line of cars going out of the airport, Harm and Mac shifting backwards slightly because of his quick movements. Already Harm felt horrible they would have to suffer the weekend through a rainstorm, if it lasted the entire weekend. Wanting everything perfect, the time certainly didn't start out that way as he gazed out of his car window, seeing them getting closer to the bright lights of Las Vegas.  
  
"So what do you have planned?" Mac asked, knowing full well that if the night before was any kind of indication, romance awaited in the near future. She wouldn't let Harm sulk for long, determined to have fun, despite the troublesome weather. Harm liked looking at situations pessimistically, though he often revealed an optimistic side when it counted. Yet at the moment, pessimism seemed to be the mood of choice. The weekend with such high expectations, Harm was bound to see the rain as a drawback.  
  
Turning from the window to gaze at her, Harm answered, "I have a decent amount planned. Hopefully the rain holds off." Of course he planned a bunch of different activities, many of them outside, having to walk from casino to casino to reach destinations. Doing this in the hot sun would be no problem, fun, enjoyable, yet doing this in the rain would only make the festivities a hassle. The point of the weekend was to embrace the chance to do such activities as a couple, to not have to worry about hiding in a room or apartment.  
  
Mac clasped his hand in hers, feeling warmth and strength, squeezing it tightly as she countered, "If it doesn't, then we'll get wet." In fact, Mac felt the rain would be romantic, a time, a vacation they would always remember. Sometimes the best vacations were those full of horrible experiences and bad luck. Their relationship needed those experiences, those fun times they could share with their children. Their children.  
  
Harm smiled then, leaning over to give her a small kiss, feeling this vacation, no matter what bad luck or bad instances they might deal with, would accomplish exactly what they hoped. Harm knew he needed to stop thinking about the negatives, realizing that he wasn't trying to impress Mac to win her love. He had that now, finally. Instead this vacation was a time for them to share together, no matter what might come. They would do exactly that.  
  
**Caesar's Palace **

**Hallway **

**0130 MST  
**  
Stepping off of the elevator into the clean, fully carpeted hallway, Mac felt the excitement for this trip reach new heights. Immediately a mirror hung in the small hallway they stepped into that would lead to the more extensive sections of the hotel, and Mac could hardly wait to explore. A vase with beautiful, fresh flowers sat on a table underneath the mirror, the lights dim as they approached the hallway adjacent to the small one they were in.  
  
Taking a glance at the small sign leading them in the correct direction to their room, Mac turned right, Harm following behind as he held onto the suitcases. Feeling the left suitcase much heavier than the right, gazing down to realize the left was Mac's, Harm looked up to the beautiful, walking, determined woman in front of him, and said subtly with a hint of strain in his voice, "I thought Marines were known for being able to survive with little or nothing in the wilderness."  
  
Mac turned around then, seeing Harm's very amused expression as he waited anxiously for her answer. They tended to do this often, one making fun of the other. It was the game they played, the bantering they enjoyed. Neither of them took it seriously, yet both knew of its importance in their relationship. Being opposite concerning court cases and lawyer styles tended to bring out such arguments, their new closeness only making such arguing more enjoyable. "This coming from the man who spends a half hour in front of the mirror to make sure his hair looks good," Mac shot back, immediately seem Harm's face turn to protest.  
  
Catching up with her as she turned back around, walking a bit faster, Harm argued lightly, "I do not spend a half hour." Thinking quickly for something to catch her with, he grinned widely and added, "By the way, how many clothes do you own?"  
  
Mac huffed a little as they reached the door to their room, pulling out the keycard to unlock the door as she stated in return, "How much money have you invested into your car?" Glancing to Harm, she saw him suddenly become somewhat serious, her previous comment hitting the right buttons. She loved showing Harm how much she really knew about him, reminding him that he can never keep too much from her attention. Mac paid close attention to almost everything he did, knowing full well of his weaknesses, his strengths, what words caused him insanity, down to what position he usually slept in at night. Such knowledge was wonderful.  
  
As Mac began to enter the room, Harm sighed and informed with mock regret, "Ah, Mac, you know better than to bring my car into this.  
  
Stepping backwards into the room, a single lamp already turned on, Harm following close behind, Mac smirked mischievously, challenging, "At least I'm not all talk and no action."  
  
In that moment Harm dropped the suitcases in a flash, running with amazing quickness towards Mac, so quick that instead of fighting, Mac decided to let him catch her, laughing the entire time as Harm pinned her against the nearby wall, holding her fast, Mac's hands instinctively landing on his shoulders. If Mac really wanted to escape, she could do so, especially knowing Harm as well as she did. However, she wanted to play the game a little, seeing the man in front of her attempting to catch his breath slightly as he replied confidently, "I'll show you action, Colonel." He then kissed her, his intentions for the rest of the night apparent in his lips. As the kiss ended, Harm added with a whisper, "Now you have no way out."  
  
Mac smiled openly, feeling him tighten his hold on her, Harm daring her to try and escape his grip. However, Harm of all people knew not to challenge a Marine with such a dare, knowing full well a Marine's capability to escape such a trap in normal circumstances. Yet Harm seemed to like when Mac took control in these moments, which may be the reasoning for his words. "I don't, huh?" Mac asked, instantly taking no more time in finding that way out.  
  
Before Harm knew it, he found himself lying on his back on the bed, Mac sitting on top of him. Harm also knew which buttons to push to get Mac to react in certain ways. She leaned over him, stretched her arms out on either side of him to keep her balance as she looked down into his handsome face. The face she could stare into for days on end, ever finding a new feature, tracing a new contour with her eyes, her fingers, exploring new sections of him. Harm would always have some mystery to him, though Mac intended on searching and exploring the unknown territories in Harm's soul. In fact, she wanted to start her adventure this weekend. "Now you have no way out," Mac replied with a grin, using his own words, enjoying the position she currently was in.  
  
Yet it didn't last long as Mac felt Harm flip to her back quickly as he assumed the upper position, staring down with her with a huge smile, placing his arms around her. Mac giggled a little, enjoying this moment, loving how comfortable they were with each other. "You are strong, Marine." Harm bent down to kiss her lightly, and added, "And beautiful." Harm kissed her again, this time much more passionately, their lips opening slightly, Harm feeling the command and urgency in Mac's kisses. He felt his breathing becoming a little ragged, the passion, the heat of the moment, their bodies melding together, causing him to lose his sense of orientation  
  
Mac then broke the kiss slightly, seeing Harm release with reluctance, unsure of what just happened. This weekend, to some degree, needed to be perfect. Finally finding time to be alone with Harm, Mac wanted the time together to be somewhat perfect, maybe even magical. Certainly not quick without much thinking involved, when she just spent 4 hours on a plane. Smiling, Mac caressed Harm's cheek and whispered, "I still have the plane ride on me. Let me wash up a little before we continue." Not only did she want to wash up, but she also wanted to take it slow, hoping the break would help them to do just that.  
  
Harm nodded, rolling away from her to allow her to stand. Watching her, Harm felt his entire being drowning in her existence. She will always astound him, has always done so. Now watching her as she turned towards him, Harm knew he would forever love this woman, wanting at this moment to give his life to her. He wanted to make her happy, give her anything she wanted, and be there for her. "Okay," he whispered, agreeing that the time should be perfect, taken slow.  
  
Mac smiled as she left, leaving Harm lying on the bed alone, looking up at the ceiling as he heard the door to the bathroom close. He could do this, he could wait. That would not be a problem. Shifting a bit, Harm moved to lie out on the bed, grabbed the remote on the small table next to him, and turned on the TV. He could wait.  
  
**_Wise men say _**

**_Only fools rush in _**

**_But I can't help _**

**_Falling in love with you  
_**  
Mac took one last view of herself in the mirror, happy that she felt ten times better than before. She wanted to remember this moment with Harm, the entire vacation with Harm. Washing up only took her a few minutes, moving to the bathroom door to open it, the anticipation of this night rising inside of her heart and soul. Harm and Mac experienced many romantic moments and a dozen romantic weekends since they started their relationship, yet this felt different, free, not having to worry about being caught by something or someone.  
  
**_Shall I stay? _**

**_Would it be a sin? _**

**_If I can't help _**

**_Falling in love with you  
_**  
Exiting the bathroom and walking into the room, dressed for bed in shorts and a tank top, she saw Harm lying on his side under the covers only partly, wearing shorts but no T-shirt, the TV flashing lights and sounds quietly throughout the room. Before one, now two lamps shined brightly throughout the room. "Harm?" Mac called, walking to the television to turn it off, seeing him still and quiet. Gazing at him, immediately she realized he was fast asleep. Sighing, she found herself highly amused, realizing the amount of sleep the previous week took from both of them. If anything, this weekend, at the very least, would be a chance for them to relax and enjoy each other. Many times that merely meant sleeping in each other's arms all night, enjoying the company, enjoying the quiet moments together.  
  
**_Like a river flows _**

**_Surely to the sea _**

**_Darling so it goes _**

**_Some things are meant to be  
_**  
Turning off the lamp next to the TV, and then moving to the bed to turn off the lamp on the nightstand, the darkness of the room quickly engulfed them, only the bright lights of Las Vegas dimly illuminating the room. The rain draped over the windows blurred those bright images of the huge strip, in a strange way blanketing the room in warmth. Sighing with slight disappointment, but realizing this was a good start, Mac climbed under the covers next to Harm's sleeping form, his back to her. Leaning over him slightly, propping herself on her elbow, to ensure his sleeping state, Mac bent down and kissed him gently on the cheek, Harm still unmoving. Staring at him for hours while he slept was easy, Mac having done so before on nights just like this one. She knew, as well, his own tendency to do the same with her, often feeling his eyes studying her while she slept. A few times she awoke in those instances, but did not open her eyes, intent on allowing Harm to observe her.  
  
**_Take my hand _**

**_Take my whole life, too _**

**_For I can't help _**

**_Falling in love with you  
_**  
Lying back down behind him, Mac wrapped her right arm around his waist, tightening her hold on him. She wanted him to feel her presence even if he wasn't awake, to know she was there and always would be. She wanted to take care of him for the rest of her life, show him her commitment to him, to who he was. In moments like these were such promises made, in dark nights of exhaustion and sleep, when all the worries of the world melted away, and all they had was each other. Sharing did not always mean the exchange of words, yet often the exchange of souls, of hearts, of flashes in life they would never forget. Mac saw their life together, and saw her holding him like this for the rest of her life. She saw herself loving him like this.  
  
**_Like a river flows _**

**_Surely to the sea _**

**_Darling so it goes _**

**_Some things are meant to be  
_**  
Mac smiled slightly, happy with the place she was in, happy with the man she held in her arms. The softness of the sheets, the pillows, of Harm's skin, along with the pitter-patter of rain on the window gave her the needed atmosphere for sleep.  
  
**_Take my hand  
_**  
Before she completely fell away, however, she hugged him to her a little tighter, giving him a kiss on his shoulder, the back of his neck.  
  
**_Take my whole life, too_**  
  
The heat from his body emanated to her, the calm, and the silence.  
  
**_For I can't help _**

**_Falling in love with you  
_**  
As she buried her face into the pillow, into his neck, she felt his hand lightly grasp hers, entwining their fingers, settling them against his stomach. Instantly sleep came. Morning brought the weekend.  
  
**_For I can't help _**

**_Falling in love with you_**

**_  
_**  
**... More to Come ...  
  
Reviews Welcome!!! **


	3. Unforgettable

**TITLE:** What Happens Here Stays Here  
  
**RATING:** PG-13  
  
**PAIRING:** Harm/Mac  
  
**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any part of JAG.  
  
**Author's Note:** Finally! It took me forever to update, I know. Stupid writer's block!!! And I've been very busy. Anyway, finally, it's here, my update. Thank you to all who have sent reviews, I love them! I hope you all have enjoyed the story so far. I've loved writing it. Reviews welcome!!!  
  
**_Chapter Title: Unforgettable_**  
  
**Harm and Mac's hotel room   
****Caesar's Palace  
****Saturday – 0800 EST  
**  
Light seeped through Mac's subconscious as she began to awake, immediately realizing morning was upon them. Slowly opening her eyes, Mac senses went into overload feeling the softness of the bed, immediately feeling her cheek on the pillow, on her stomach, facing the window. The warm sun basked powerfully through the room, awaking Mac further as she opened her eyes completely. Only then did she realize she was alone, at first a little worried as she popped her head up. Yet the sound of the shower running in the bathroom quickly eased any initial worries.  
  
Sighing, Mac flipped herself around on her back to look at the ceiling, taking in the previous day's events. She remembered roses, the plane ride, the cab, Las Vegas, and rain. It all jumped into her memory at the same time as she gazed around the room slightly, finally taking in the entire room as a whole. The night before was so dark she hardly took the chance to study the surroundings Harm chose. Smiling, she saw the simple luxury of the room, a small suite. By the window was the small living room area, with a small couch, a chair, a desk, the coffee table. The color of the room was light and comforting, full of gold, yellow, and pinkish shades. Mostly gold shades, Mac added, realizing they were indeed in Caesar's Palace, and the color scheme shouted Ancient Rome.  
  
Finally sitting up and climbing out of bed, Mac moved to the small coffee pot that Harm seemed to have ordered from room service, knowing full well Mac's need for it in the morning. Smiling, she took a cup and poured the hot coffee, already feeling the warm, inviting, revitalizing effect as she took in the wonderful smell. Now she was fully awake, Mac thought. Though a little disappointed Harm didn't awake her a little sooner, Mac enjoyed the chance to sleep in a little, knowing the full day ahead of them. Harm planned quite a bit, though he didn't mention any of it to her.  
  
Hearing the shower turn off, Mac's mind flashed to the night before, the chance to finally be together in over a week lost because of their exhaustion. Though the night was enjoyable, spending it entirely in each other's arms. Certainly not the best night she's ever spent with Harm, Mac mused, but definitely fulfilling. Sipping her coffee, she immediately felt any leftover sleepiness drift away quickly as she stepped to the TV to turn it on and waited to take her turn in the shower.  
  
Walking over to the window and sitting down in the middle of the couch, she turned to look upon the busy strip of Las Vegas. The excitement of exploring the sights, taking in the sounds and the people began to increase by the second. She knew she probably should be home in Washington, looking over cases upon cases, yet she didn't want to be anywhere but here. Mac felt her love for Harm increase, her need for him, wishing she could stare into his eyes for the rest of her life. Certainly that would not be possible, but times like this, vacations like this, needed to be treasured, needed to be used to fulfill her need for him, and his need for her.  
  
Suddenly she felt arms encircle her from behind as Harm sat down behind her, leaning back against the armrest as he pulled her closer to him. Immediately the scent of fresh soap filled her nostrils as she leaned her head back against him, allowing him to envelope her in his embrace. A simple kiss on her cheek and her shoulder created a tenderness in that moment, anticipation for the day awaiting them. Mac asked quietly, "Why didn't you wake me? Wanted to take a shower by yourself?" She glanced up to him with a mischievous grin, seeing him smirk.  
  
Shrugging, he replied, "Well, I knew you needed the sleep. And I knew that we took a shower together, we would never get out of this hotel room." Smiling, he leaned down a kissed her lightly on the lips. Mac reached up to run her hand through his damp hair, loving the soft, yet spiky feel underneath her fingertips as she deepened the kiss every so slightly. However, Harm was right, if they allowed their passions to run, they wouldn't see any part of Las Vegas before the vacation was over with.  
  
Breaking the kiss, Mac said softly, "Then I should go and shower now before this gets any further." Smirking, she released from his embrace and stood, hearing a small moan from Harm as he watched her, grinning with utter delight at the mere fact he was here with her. Here with the woman he loved, with the woman that caused his heart to flutter every time he looked to her, every time she held his hand, every time she kissed him. Watching her walk away from him towards the bathroom, Harm felt that flutter, and knew the day would be wonderful.  
  
**Shark Reef   
****Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino   
****1100 EST  
**  
"They're amazing," Mac breathed, watching the huge sharks swim by the glass in front of her. She loved watching animals in their normal environments, having walked the extraordinary maze through, around, and under the ocean-like setting in this huge exhibit. Now near the end, the maze went into a large room, walls completely glass, allowing a window into the lives of these animals all around, not including the huge glass below their feet. Stepping up to a huge pane of glass, she watched an enormous sea turtle swim by. "I love the water," Mac added with a whisper.  
  
Harm came up behind her, watching the same scene in front of him, as he countered with a small grimace, "The water's okay."  
  
Mac laughed a little as she turned to look at him, highly amused as she observed, "The Marine loves the water, yet the Navy man doesn't. How did that happen?"  
  
Harm shrugged a little as he stepped a bit closer to the pane of glass, unable to keep his eyes off of the small shark swimming by, and, in his opinion, much too close. Yet he knew Mac would love this. Putting his hands on his hips, he explained, "I was near water most of my life. I didn't mind it then. I've flown over it a dozen times." With a sigh, he looked down a little, debating whether he should reveal this fact about himself, knowing he kept it to himself for quite some time. He then whispered slightly, "But since my crash in the Atlantic, I haven't been too fond of the ocean."  
  
Mac nodded slightly, remembering full well that time of their lives. The difficulty of the moment still loomed in her heart, the fear, the worry that she would never see Harm ever again. That fear controlled so much of her, took hold of all that she was in that moment, in a moment when her mind and heart, and, most importantly, her soul should've been in the hands of another man. Yet when the call came in of Harm's crash, floating aimlessly in the Atlantic Ocean, no clue where he punched out, all Mac thought of was him. All she thought of was letting the chance to be with him, to have a life with him, get away. In reality, Mac never knew at that time her innate devotion and love to Harm. Never knew until she stared out the window of the restaurant, alone, the tears flowing freely and with honesty. The tears flowing endlessly. Just as Mic knew when he saw her tears as he turned her towards him, Mac knew, as well, she did not cry for a friend, but for the love of her life.  
  
Taking Harm's hand in hers, Mac whispered back, "Some day, I would like to know your version." Harm turned his gaze from the many fish to Mac's brown eyes, seeing comfort, love, his own soul finding a home. Through all of the craziness of the past few years, certainly during those months that Harm recovered from his crash, they didn't talk much at all, and much was missed. Just as Harm never really heard any details concerning Paraguay, Mac never heard much concerning his time in the Atlantic Ocean. Both were moments of overwhelming change in their lives, yet neither shared too much of their experiences. Despite Harm having Renee as a girlfriend, he certainly didn't tell her anything of what he felt after the crash, of barely surviving, and the inability to keep Mac out of his head. No, he didn't tell Renee much. He barely told Mac anything at that time, dealing with a slight change of venue concerning their friendship soon after the crash. Mac held in her problems with Mic, as did Harm with Renee and his accident. They spoke vaguely of it, sure, but nothing deep, nothing meaningful.  
  
Harm gave her a simple smile, happy that Mac was his girlfriend, happy that she pushed him so often, pushed him to tell her as much as he could. She pushed him to his limits in so many ways, challenged him, and loved him. Leaning towards her, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before whispering, "I would like to tell you." Mac smiled warmly as she led him out of the exhibit, intent on taking up that offer very soon. Very soon indeed.  
  
**MGM Grand Casino   
****Las Vegas   
****1500 EST  
**  
After spending part of the afternoon fooling around in the pool, as well as taking in some of the exhibits, such as the famous Star Trek 4-D display, and seeing the Secret Garden in The Mirage, Harm and Mac found themselves taking part in the one activity that characterized Las Vegas; gambling. Sitting in the MGM Grand, the casino section of the hotel seemingly reaching for miles, Harm sat alone in a line of nickel machines, the bucket in his hands reaching quickly to the bottom. He picked up one of the few coins he had left, placing it in the slot, hitting two buttons to watch the pictures flip in front of him. To keep track of the pictures, where they'll land, how much to bet on each chance, seemed slightly frustrating for Harm.  
  
Sighing, he decided to spare the last few coins as he stood up from his spot, hoping to find Mac quickly. Actually, he felt a little tired, wanting to take a small nap before they ventured out into the strip for most of the night. Dinner and a show awaited them, and at the moment Harm didn't feel he could make it through both without falling asleep. Right now he pictured them in the room, she probably reading a book while he took his small catnap.  
  
It didn't take him long to notice a few people standing around Mac as she sat at a very lucky machine across the way a bit, bells going off every time she slipped a coin in. Mac tended to have success with many different aspects of her life, and gambling didn't seem to be an exception. Succeeding in horrible circumstances, actually, was Mac's forte. All her life she needed to prove herself to others, not only because of her past, her family, and her alcoholism, but also because she was a woman trying to be a Marine. As Harm said many times before, she is tough. Yet her friends see the sweet and sensitive side, especially her boyfriend, Harm mused.  
  
Walking up behind her, he reached over her shoulder to grab a coin out of her bucket, expecting her to slap his hand away, thinking he was a stranger. However, Mac merely observed, "Back already, huh?" She slipped another coin in the machine, pulled, and another match sent bells ringing as more coins dropped into the metal coin catcher below. Harm found a seat next to her in front of a machine, watching as she put another coin in, yet this time no bells rung when she pulled the lever.  
  
Shrugging, Harm replied with a smirk, "Well, I hit my limit." He then took his bucket and dumped the few coins he had into Mac's, setting his empty bucket next to the machine he sat at.  
  
Mac smiled a little and asked, "Is that all you won?"  
  
Harm huffed slightly as he corrected with a grimace, "No, no, that's what I have left."  
  
Mac laughed lightly, loving the faces he made when he lost, saddened, frustrated, and confused as to his bad luck. She noticed those faces before, but now being his girlfriend she noticed quickly how cute he was when he made them. Harm did not like to lose, especially to her, though over the years he did get somewhat used to it. Whether it was court cases, rightful judgments, or arguing over which actor played in what movie, slight competition always characterized at least a small part of their relationship. "Looks like I'll have to buy you dinner tonight," Mac joked, yet with the utmost sincerity as she leaned over to him to give him a small kiss.  
  
Harm's face immediately turned from saddened to intrigued as he asked, "Will you buy me dessert, too?"  
  
Mac smiled even further as they both stood, her heart aching with joy, realizing her knowledge of this wonderful man grew each and every day. So predictable he was, in so many different ways, yet surprising her every second she was around him. Her life would center on him. This much was clear. She saw their future in that second, saw their lives ending together, their souls moving as one to a lake, around a dock that stretched lazily out across the water, a white house with a small porch, sharing a glass of lemonade as they sat together in the setting sun. Why she thought of this now, she would never know. Though the images never ascended deep in her soul with any other relationship, at the moment it intoxicated her, looking upon Harm's unforgettable face. Unable to fully display her thoughts, Mac simply answered, "Definitely."  
  
Harm smiled warmly as they walked towards the cash-out, soon out of the casino, where they quickly left to their room. It didn't take long for them to fall into the activities Harm predicated, as Mac stretched out on the bed to read a little of the current book she was reading, while Harm feel asleep on his back, his head comfortable on Mac's stomach, her hand running through his hair lulling him to sleep. Harm quietly wished for the scene to last forever, to never drift away, to always be apart of who they were. That was his wish. His wish for their life, as one.  
  
**Outside Bellagio Hotel  
****Las Vegas   
****2240 MST  
**  
After enjoying a wonderful, romantic dinner together at a stylish restaurant in Caesar's Palace, then catching a popular comedian, Harm and Mac now stood in front of the huge fountain outside of the Bellagio. They decided to dress up slightly, Harm wearing a sports coat and tie while Mac wore a black, sleeveless dress. The intention was to enjoy the moment, realizing they rarely were able to go out to dinner without the worry of someone catching them. Now they stood together, arms around each other, against the railing a bit as they waited for the water show to begin. The perfect ending to a perfect night, Harm observed.  
  
Mac stepped a little out of his embrace, moving to lean a little over the railing. A slight breeze brushed across her face, the night air still quite warm and comfortable. The streets around them bustled, the city hardly quieting as the day turned deeper into night. With the night came anxiety for both Harm and Mac, both sensing the time alone they sought the entire vacation, for the entire week, would soon come. Spending those nights with Harm always fulfilled Mac, a spot in her soul that was lacking, a spot she did not know of until that moment, until that night. It didn't take long to remember their first time together, the passion, the desire from 9 years of holding back, holding it in. Everything revealed, for the first time, no one holding them from each other, nothing preventing them from being together.  
  
Harm leaned against the railing next to her, reaching out to grasp her hand there, asking quietly, "What are you thinking?" Many times Harm felt fear to know her thoughts, only because he worried Mac might at one time have second thoughts about their relationship. Despite how much they loved each other, he always worried about such an outcome, fearing the bubble will quickly break with his great luck of having such a wonderful woman to love. They fought so hard to get to this point, so much was at stake, and Harm couldn't erase the fear that something would cause them to lose it all; something beyond their control.  
  
Mac blushed slightly, realizing her thoughts concentrated solely on Harm, their first night, the passion, and the night to come. In fact, her thoughts centered on Harm to the point of barely remembering what problems awaited her in Washington, the change of venue, the reality. She wanted to stay here right now, though, take full advantage, and enjoy Harm with everything inside of her. Shrugging slightly, she decided in that moment to be honest as she squeezed his hand, replying in a whisper, "You."  
  
Harm smirked a little, leaning in to kiss her, whispering back, "I haven't stopped thinking about you, either." They kissed again, this time Mac allowing her lips to play over his, wishing greatly they were not in public at the moment. Part of her wanted to ditch this last exhibit and head straight to their room, yet the other part knew the water show would be worth seeing, if only to make the anticipation grow that much more. Thinking of dinner, the conversations, the tenderness and special moments shared throughout the night only intensified her need for him tonight. Her need for him for the rest of her life.  
  
Releasing slightly, Mac said quietly, "Thank you."  
  
Harm smiled, kissing her again before asking, "For what?"  
  
Mac wasn't sure if he was acting modest, or he really knew how much he did for her and was acting ignorant. Whichever way, Harm must have known going to such an extent for Mac, to make her happy, to show his love, would not be soon forgotten. This vacation, if nothing else, strengthened her commitment to Harm, her devotion, her undying love for him. After this weekend, not much would be able to keep them apart. In fact, she felt determined to ensure nothing would come between them again. "For this," Mac replied simply, soon adding, "for everything."  
  
Harm kissed her again, tracing his lips softly against hers, to her cheek, as he whispered, "Thank you."  
  
This time Mac moved away slightly to ask, "For what?"  
  
At first Harm smiled warmly, yet turned quickly serious and sincere, keeping his lips only inches from hers. Doing all of this for her he would do again and again, planned on having such vacations with her for the rest of his life. Planned on loving her just like this, sharing his heart, his soul, allowing her to take and be apart of such a huge section of his life, of him as a whole. "For loving me," Harm answered, smiling against her lips as she kissed him in response.  
  
As quickly as they began to kiss, they broke apart just as quickly, Harm moving his lips to her ear, whispering gently, "Are you ready?"  
  
Mac giggled, in that moment the water before them exploding into a vast array of shapes, spouting out high into the sky. Quickly she turned to watch the formations of water throughout the large fountain, seeing the water reach across the entire length of the huge hotel. The images portrayed before her were astounding, even further adding to the extravagant night the two shared together. She quickly fell into a calm as she watched the water display, feeling Harm's grip on her hand strengthen a little as he moved closer to her.  
  
Glancing over to him, his face only inches from hers, she whispered, "Kiss me again."  
  
Harm took no time, also feeling the need to remember this moment with such a gesture, in front of such a spectacle. As soon as their lips meet, the passion heated up quickly, and Mac felt it reach every part of her body as the kiss deepened. She loved his lips, loved how soft they were, loved the taste, the promise lying in them, all for her. Though she knew she was in public, and couldn't possibly take the kiss where it begged to go, she softened it instead. The heat and the passion rose to a different level, a level of deep love, of intimacy as their kisses moved slowly, sensually.  
  
**_Come away with me in the night  
_**  
At first Mac felt a mist grazing their faces, seemingly from the water display just before them. Yet as the mist began to become heavier and heavier, it didn't take long for her to realize the mist was in fact rain. Stepping back from Harm, Mac laughed lightly as the rain came down harder the longer they stood there in each other's arms. Looking up as the rain hit her face, her smile grew bigger, sensing the irony, realizing this particular luck would follow them for the entire vacation.  
  
**_Come away with me  
And I will write you a song  
_**  
Glancing to Harm, she saw him struggling to keep his eyes open as the rain continued to beat down. His face spoke of frustration and discontentment with the current turn of events, certainly unhappy with the course of the vacation in many respects. Rain, flight delays, roses, and exhaustion quickly interrupted every moment of intimacy with Mac. Why their luck turned this way, Harm had no clue, yet it highly irritated him. However, looking to Mac, he saw delight there, laughter. Unable to hold in his own smiles, he finally laughed himself, replying through the rain, "I should've known this would happen."  
  
**_Come away with me on a bus  
_**  
Mac laughed lightly, taking his hand in hers as she began to lead them away from the Bellagio towards their hotel, ever keeping her face on him as they walked. The rain, in this moment, would not ruin what they wanted. In fact, Mac felt the romance, the desire coming with every drop that hit her face, every instance the warm rain drenched them. Perhaps hailing a cab would be the best solution, yet Mac wanted to remember this moment, under the lights of Las Vegas, running through the endless rain with the love of her life, racing to shelter, though not moving quickly enough to prevent getting soaked. This picture of time in her life stretched from romantic, amusing, and quickly to unforgettable. Unforgettable. A word that echoed through Mac's mind as they finally reached their hotel, laughing the entire way, the desire underneath ready to burst.  
  
**_Come away where they can't tempt us  
_**  
**Near Mac and Harm's room   
****Caesar's Palace   
****2300 MST  
**  
**_With their lies  
_**  
Finally reaching their floor, Harm and Mac laughed lightly as they stepped off the elevator, holding hands intimately, ultimately soaked from their walk. That would not be an issue, only adding to the romance of the moment, of the weekend. Soon the door to the room appeared, both rushing up to it as subtly as possible. Mac leaned back against it, pulling on Harm's soaked unbuttoned sports coat, bringing him in for a passionate kiss. Harm moaned into her lips, initially forgetting about the search for the key, the fervor of finally finding alone time overflowing.  
  
**_And I want to walk with you   
On a cloudy day  
_**  
Suddenly Harm caught someone coming down the hall towards them, causing him to break the kiss, though keeping only an inch away from Mac as he searched frantically for the key. Mac, highly amused with being seen, tried desperately to hide her laughter as the man walked behind them. Keeping her grip on Harm's sports coat as he hastily searched for the key in his pants before their desire had a chance subside, she kissed him again, this time reaching a hand into his inside coat pocket to reveal the key.  
  
Smiling, Harm grabbed the key as he whispered huskily against her lips, "I love the fact you know me so well."  
  
Mac returned his smile, kissing him lightly as she responded, "I need to for moments like this."  
  
**_In fields where the yellow grass grows knee high  
So won't you try to come  
_**  
Barely giving him a chance to answer, Mac captured his lips again as his arms draped around her, his right hand holding the key. Reaching to the door behind Mac, he slipped the key in the slot and turned the knob, immediately finding them blindly moving into the darkness of the room, the door closing quickly behind them. Flashing lights blurred by the raindrops on the window shimmered all around them, the rain pattering on the windows quickly enveloped all sound, a blanket of warmth. Slight thunder began to roll across the sky, throughout the room as the fervor quickly switched from an uncontrollable intensity, to a sweet, intimate moment.  
  
_**Come away with me and we'll kiss  
On a mountain top  
**_  
Harm felt Mac's hands pushing his sports coat off of his shoulders as he slipped kisses from her mouth down the side of her neck, still wet and exotic from the time spent in the rain. Mac's breath quickened as she hugged him closer to her, his lips soft and sweet against her skin. Once again her mind flashed to the first time they were together, the line they crossed in that moment, how powerful the moment, how much it meant to them. Being with Harm was like no other experience, something deeper, as if her soul awoke by loving this man, and being loved by him. No other man came close to unleashing such a reaction, such a need.  
  
**_Come away with me  
And I'll never stop  
Loving you  
_**  
The kisses on her neck soon reached her mouth, both opening to each other, enjoying each other, both falling into the rare chance of being together. Quickly undoing Harm's tie, her hands moved to the collar, her lips moving to his jaw line, knowing every curve, every contour, every feature. As she busied herself with Harm's shirt, Mac felt a gentle touch at her shoulder, moving to the strap of her dress. Both hardly realized the slow but constant movement towards the bed, Harm finding amusement as he remembered the bed of roses.  
  
The chuckle Harm elicited caused Mac to stop, allowing him to move a kiss down her neck, to her shoulder as she asked breathlessly, "Is there something funny, flyboy?"  
  
Harm shrugged as he moved his kisses down to base of her neck before moving up to her chin, capturing her lips hungrily. Yet Mac did not want to let the chuckle go, her hands going to his face, pushing him away a little. Her eyes clearly displayed a slight irritation, wanting an answer before they continued. Arguing right now would not be the best course of action, especially all it took to get them to this point during the weekend. He knew better than to press, smiling a little as he whispered with amusement, "I was thinking of the bed full of roses, the thorn."  
  
Mac nodded as he moved his lips to her other shoulder, his hands tracing her upper arm, the soft of her skin. The tenderness of the kisses made it difficult for Mac to respond, though she whispered in return, "There are no thorns this time."  
  
**_And I want to wake up with the rain   
Falling on a tin roof  
_**  
Harm smiled as he tightened his hold on Mac, kissing her passionately, wanting to be no other place than right here, with this woman, in this moment. She intoxicated him every moment of the day, every second, every minute he was awake, and every dream as he slept. Rarely did he think of the other women, the other relationships he was in before Mac. None of that mattered, never would matter ever again. Mac was his life now, her happiness his goal.  
  
**_While I'm safe there in your arms   
So all I ask is for you  
_**  
Suddenly Mac drifted away from him slightly, seeing Harm's eyes turn to concern. Gazing at him, his shirt still quite wet, a few buttons unbuttoned at the top, his eyes never leaving her. Now there were no thorns, no scare of someone walking in, no exhaustion from a demanding week. Left in that moment, all else stripped away, was their love. Each other. Together. The rain. Nothing stopped them from falling into the embrace of their bodies, their hearts, their souls, baring all. A hand outstretched with great invitation, Harm clasping it, pulled into Mac's embrace, quickly on the bed behind, hovering over her, desire taking control.  
  
**_To come away with me into the night  
_**  
Harm felt safe here, with Mac, with no one else but her, able to be himself in every way possible. Soon he felt light caresses across his bare shoulders, his shirt completely removed, kisses covering his lower neck and chest. His hands moved to her waist, lowering his head, burying it against her bare shoulder. In moments, time forgotten, barriers broken, all revealed, a whisper hovering close to his ear, "Make love to me." Their bodies molded as one. The damp rain still peppered the windows, their skin. Finally the night was all their own.  
  
**_Come away with me_**

**__**  
  
**... More to Come ...  
  
Reviews Welcome!!!! **


	4. Stories of Fate

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here  
**  
RATING: PG-13  
  
PAIRING: Harm and Mac  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own JAG.  
  
**Author's Note:** Wow, I did it. I wrote this section at work during my breaks. Anyway, I wanted to post this because I won't be able to post again for at least another week. This is kind of like the end of the first section of my story, and soon I will be moving into the next part. I hope you all have enjoyed this, and thank you so much for the reviews!!!! Thanks for reading!!! Reviews Welcome!!! Enjoy!!!  
  
**_Chapter Title: Stories of Fate  
_**  
**Harm and Mac's Room   
Caesar's Palace   
0100 MST  
**  
Mac couldn't tell what caused her worries to melt away so quickly on this night. Maybe the atmosphere at the moment, the soothing massage of the jets in the Jacuzzi and the calm, soft glow from the many candles nestled all around, effectively pushed all problems from her mind, if only for this weekend. Yet the arms encircling her, the body she leaned back against, the warmth emanating from the person behind, seemed to be the source for the peace in her heart. No matter what problems, as long as Harm was with her, the peace would always exist, always make her troubles seem small and minute. It was exactly where she wanted to be.  
  
A soft kiss touched upon Mac's bare shoulder. Tracing the features and curves of Harm's hands, a voice whispered in her ear, "What I want to know is how we ended up in water again." Amusement in the moment did not take away from the intimacy shared on this night, only adding to the journey of their souls. Nothing could damage this night, nothing could hurt what was shared, exchanged, and what was to come. The time already spent together during the weekend, specifically this night, effectively cancelled out the previous weeks' loneliness and separation from each other.  
  
Giggling softly, Mac whispered in return, "I don't know, I think the water's pretty comfortable." Snuggling back against him further to press her opinion, Harm smiled as he wrapped his arms around her tighter. He knew he would never love a woman like this ever again. Everything in his life came back to this point, to this woman, and all that she did for him and what he risked for her. So much of his life felt wasted on other relationships and experiences, yet he knew without the course taken he would never feel so complete in this moment.  
  
Harm placed a kiss on the side of her neck and again her shoulder, feeling a combination of water and soft skin, yet strength and love. Difficult not to think of their future in that moment, Harm saw their living room, the fireplace spreading warmth throughout the home and their hearts, perhaps a Christmas tree glowing in the corner while their children opened their Christmas morning presents. Was he really seeing this? Is this what he wanted? More than anything? More than life itself? Harm said softly against her shoulder, "You're comfortable."  
  
Mac turned her head back to glance at him then, seeing the smile growing with each second she allowed her eyes to bore into his handsome features. In that moment, Mac noted the amount of instances she saw that wonderful smile since they started their relationship. Actually, she needed to admit her own giddiness and joy with advancing on such a road, taking on such a challenge. Sure they were different in many ways, yet they were the same, wanted the same thing, couldn't keep their attraction bottled up any further. Opposites most certainly attract, Mac reminded herself. Matching his smile, she chided softly, "What else do you want from me?"  
  
Harm just couldn't hide his growing smile, every second he enjoyed the presence of this woman, replying softly, "Nothing." He didn't want anything, nothing at all, except her as he bent down to capture her lips, the desire burning inside of him. In fact, Mac surprised him slightly by deepening the kiss quite a bit, settling a hand behind his neck as she pulled him even closer to her. If anything, she certainly knew how to turn him into a pool of incomprehension, the passion growing quickly.  
  
Slowing the kiss down a bit, Mac traced her lips to his upper lip, then his cheek, his heart begin to speed up ever so slightly. Yet Harm knew this drill quite well, remembering Mac's tendency to seduce him ever so slightly to get him to do something for her. It was the same every time, and every time Harm fell for it. Not because Mac tricked him, but because Mac was everything to him. Because he would do anything for her. Smiling against the cheek pressed lovingly against his, only hearing the quite hum of the jets in the water and their own breathing, Harm asked, stressing Mac's own words, "What else do you want from me?"  
  
Mac pulled away slightly, realizing Harm's gaining knowledge of her, knowing he couldn't hide much from this man. He didn't know all of her secrets, but he did know quite a bit. Meeting his eyes with her own, she replied honestly, "Truth."  
  
Confusion evident, Harm countered with confidence and love, "You already have that." He truthfully did not have a clue what she was referring to, thinking that Mac knew so much more about him than any other woman in his life to this point. Perhaps his mother knew more, yet Harm didn't think so. So much he kept to himself, underneath layers upon layers of protection, sadness, and worry. A night such as this one initially broke down such barriers, though he didn't feel there were many secrets left.  
  
Mac moved away from him then to the other side of the Jacuzzi, facing him head on. The movement indicated her need to be serious in this moment, during this conversation. Harm was everything to her, and every worry, every sadness, every experience in his life became important the day she said she loved him. The day she even thought those words. If forced to name that moment, Mac would quickly remember the night at Sydney Harbor. She never stopped loving him since that moment, that time in their lives, no matter her engagements or other love interests. "I want you to tell me about your crash."  
  
Harm's smile faded a little as he gazed down at the popping bubbles created by the jets underneath, stretching his arms out a little across the top of the Jacuzzi. He did promise her he would tell her of his experience, what he went through. Her reasons for pressing so still evaded him, however. "Why?" he asked subtly, not wanting to sound annoyed, but needing to emphasize his own curiosity. If she really wanted to know, he would tell her. He knew that time in his life changed him quite a bit, and he was sure she sensed that change at that time. However, though Mac survived a broken engagement, and Harm survived his crash, that time remained closed off to both. However, Mac's own biggest change did not take place in that time period, yet in another.  
  
Moving up beside him, taking a hand in hers, she explained, "Because you went through quite a bit, and I want to understand that time in your life better." They came minutes from talking to one another seriously about a possible relationship after Mic left her, how upset she was, how close they came to something greater than themselves. Yet, at that time, it was not meant to be. So much so that talking about his crash and Mac's heartbreak was rarely brought up in any future conversations. Now Mac felt responsible for every mood, every source of joy and sadness in Harm's life, as if knowing him completely included having a window to every inch of his past, mainly so she understood the transformation, how he became the man before her.  
  
The concept easy to understand, especially when Harm felt such a need himself concerning Mac, he sighed slightly, thinking of a place to start. Immediately his mind returned to that point in his life, the fear rising in him as he began to lose control of his plane. Knowing it was not his fault didn't help Harm feel any less guilty, risking his RIO's life because of his need to get back for a friend's wedding. He never spoke much of the guilt, or the fear of losing his life. More importantly, he never spoke of almost losing that chance of spending the rest of his life with the person he loved most in the world. His mind whirled frantically while in the water, while he barely remained conscious, his possible last thoughts ever in this life settling on the face that gave him the inner calm and peace. Giving him breath.  
  
Squeezing her hand in his, her eyes comforting and understanding, inviting, Harm began, "I just finished my night traps, and I requested to leave the carrier ASAP. I remember talking with the Captain and the CAG, hoping the weather would break enough for me to slip through."  
  
Soon the events of that day flashed across his mind, remembering the scene vaguely, only knowing it occurred. Such memories brought back many feelings, mostly fear, worry, and anxiety. Ironically, none of those ill feelings involved a destined flight through bad weather, rather the destination and what he would have to face alone. Despite any attempts to move past that lifeline, he would be forced to watch the woman of his dreams marry away. Yet being her friend and giving her support was top priority, no matter his feelings.  
  
-----------------------------------

"What's so important that it can't wait?"  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie's wedding."  
  
"Are you the best man?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then why rush?"  
  
"I need to be there."

---------------------------  
  
Mac listened intently to the descriptions and recollections of a time long forgotten by both. Obviously she felt guilt in that time, and once again the guilt returned as she recalled the events. Knowing he risked his life just to arrive in time to watch her marry another person, despite the obvious feelings and attraction between them, only increased the guilt. Having pressured him the day before he left, making him feel horrible for leaving her, her best friend, right before the most important day of her life only increased his need to be there for her. Such events turned out conclusions that, gazed upon in hindsight, were the best for everyone. Yet the guilt remained.  
  
Harm held onto Mac's hand tightly as he spoke, tracing his thumb across each knuckle as he continued, "I really wanted to be there for you. I felt bad with the way I acted."  
  
"I certainly wasn't nice to you, either," Mac recalled, feeling more guilt.  
  
Harm let his mind wander back again, trying to remember the next scene in the complicated story. He knew he would never remember everything, so much of it a big blur. Losing his memory temporarily only made the situation much more difficult. Ye he knew he needed to continue, to recall what h did remember, to share with Mac everything he could. Having her know so much about him was a privilege, above all else. Something he never tired of. "We got ready to fly, and once we began to leave, the weather became somewhat worse. I remember Skates shouting numbers to me, calling Andrews, the carrier, seeing the dark clouds, the torrential rains outside the cockpit. I have to admit, the worse the weather, the more worried I became of our chances of surviving."  
  
Rubbing his hand between the two of hers, wishing desperately she could kiss away all his troubles, she decided instead to encourage him to continue, whispering, "What happened next?" The need for him to share the experience began to grow, and the need for Mac to hear it would not leave her heart.  
  
Taking another small pause, Harm continued, "I remember both Skates and I knew we had to punch out. No matter how good of a pilot I may be, there was no way I could pilot through that storm, especially when we lost power. The next thing I remember is hitting the water, struggling for air, trying to fight off all of the waves." Suddenly Harm paused again, his face turning quite serious, his eyes displaying fear and sorrow, weakness.  
  
Looking to Mac, seeing the concern and love never leaving her face, knowing he could share anything with her, he began again, "I had two things on my mind as I waited, thinking I might die. I wished I did more with my life, but ...". Matching Mac's gaze upon him, he caressed her face with his hand, feeling the emotion rising in him like a volcano. "Dying without seeing your face again, without telling you how I felt hurt the most. I was so scared that I would lose this," he explained further, indicating their current situation, "... this life with you, the chance to be with you."  
  
Mac covered the hand caressing her face with her own, allowing their eyes to swim in each other's souls. All the emotion that overtook Harm in that moment spilled over into her own heart. She felt it now, Harm's fear of dying in the ocean, all alone, the fear of losing her forever. That was why he kept it to himself, specifically from Renee, as well as Mac herself, after just dealing with Mic's recent departure. He needed time just as she did after the life-changing events, and since then, rarely did they even think of it.  
  
Clasping his hand, she whispered, with tears fill her eyes quickly, "Well, you'll always have me now, sailor." Harm finally smiled, realizing everything each suffered for the other, what they risked, the time lost because of their own fear, of unknown circumstances. At the moment, however, they controlled their own destiny, and Harm took no time moving to kiss her. The passion captured them quickly.  
  
**Harm and Mac's room   
Caesar's Palace   
0200 MST  
**  
Lying in bed, Mac laughed quietly as she felt the lazy kisses creating shapes along her stomach. The kisses were soft to her skin, causing a tickling sensation to spread across her entire body. They were together long enough to know what spots to kiss, caress, and soothe to comfort the other. Mac knew Harm loved kisses along his jaw line, his heart always beating just a bit faster every time she kissed him there. Just as Mac enjoyed kisses to her neck, Harm loved Mac's massages.  
  
Giggling again, Mac whispered playfully, "Are you trying to seduce a Lieutenant Colonel of the Marine Corp.?"  
  
Harm laughed lightly, blowing on the skin he just kissed, causing Mac to quickly fall into a lull of complete comfort and peace. If anything, Harm knew how to release all of her stress, whether be bout flowers, gave her a back rub, or trailed kisses along her stomach, Mac mused. Soon he shifted up, lying on top of her completely. His eyes gazed upon her face, his arms encircling her waist. "I like seducing you. Especially ..." he began, pressing his body strongly against hers, "... when you can't escape."  
  
Mac would be lying if she said she did not enjoy the playfulness, the fun evident in their relationship. Just enjoying the time together seemed to bring out such silliness, often leading to a night of passion. Many nights started just like this, and Mac could barely keep the smile off of her face as she remembered all they shared during such moments. Giving him a small kiss, her lips inches from his, her hands tracing along his shoulders, she joked, "What do I have to do to get out?"  
  
Harm smiled at first, knowing very well if Mac wanted to escape she could do so in two seconds. Yet playing along, Harm suddenly felt the opportunity arise to ask the question he wanted to for such a long time. After he confided in Mac concerning his crash, he felt the need to hear about Paraguay. He was there some of the experience, much of it he preferred to forget, yet he was curious about Mac's ability to survive, how ti changed her so deeply. "Tell me about Paraguay."  
  
At first Mac was unsure of what he meant, only remembering the countless arguments they engaged in once Harm arrived on the scene to save her and Webb. She knew the source of his anger at that time, though certain they talked about the issues stemming from Paraguay a million times before. In fact, as they began their current relationship they ensured all ill feelings concerning that difficult time were solved. Now Harm's request seemed strange, out of place. "You already know about Paraguay," she whispered, kissing him gently on his chin.  
  
Harm nodded slightly, yet added, "But I don't know everything you went through. I just kept having scary visions that you were going to die while you were gone."  
  
"You never told me that," Mac pointed out, not angry, just surprised there were still some moments in their lives they kept secret.  
  
Burying his face in her neck, leaving kisses there, he whispered, "I missed everything before I got there, and I wanted to hear the story." He kissed a small behind her ear, knowing his love for this woman increased with every second he was in her presence, lying in her arms, safe from the world. It gave him goose bumps just thinking about spending the rest of his life with this wonderful woman.  
  
Mac felt the sincerity in his words, in his kisses, knowing his need to know everything about her was a s strong as her own need to know everything about him. Honestly, she rarely thought of that in her life, choosing to leave it behind her as much as she could. It took her months to get straight, to get past all that happened, and if Harm was ever to understand her on such a deep level he needed to know of that time in her life. It was essential. "Okay," she whispered, feeling a kiss to her cheek, "I'll tell you." She ran her hands through his hair, seeing him pull away slightly to gaze at her.  
  
Harm nestled his head between her shoulder and neck, wrapping his arms around her as she continued lazily running her fingers through his short hair. Immediately her mind shifted to that time, a section of her life long forgotten, but not lost. The pause she took as she searched for the words to describe her experience, Harm whispered, "If you don't want to, I understand."  
  
All Mac could feel was the overwhelming warmth coming from Harm, and not just because they were snuggled so intimately together. With the warmth came confidence. "No, you should know." Pausing slightly, she continued, "We arrived in Paraguay ...". Soon the images flashed across her mind like a motion picture as she explained their first meeting with the terrorists and drug dealers. Much of it went on without a hitch. "We sent Gunny to follow the terrorists to their hideout, to ensure the bomb would hit the correct spot. However, when he used his cell phone, they immediately realized who he was."  
  
Harm lifted up slightly to gaze at her, seeing the point where everything went completely downhill. There would be no question of Mac's willingness to risk her life for her friends, especially a fellow Marine. It would not be difficult to predict the next few events in this story. "You weren't going to leave him behind."  
  
Mac nodded as Harm lowered his head back down, his cheek against her shoulder. "No, I couldn't. That was why we were captured, and then Gunny escaped. They put us in a room for a while, but soon came and took Clay, tortured him in a building a little farther away. I can still hear his screams." Her heart sank thinking of it all again, Clay suffering this torture so she didn't have to. Even now it was almost too much to accept and suddenly his face drifted before her eyes. Hardly thinking of him recently, now she couldn't push Clay out of her thoughts, remembering everything they survived together.  
  
Harm sensed the pause in her voice the moment she spoke of Webb's sacrifice for her, what he risked, what was lost when he didn't return from his last mission. It didn't take long for Harm to wonder what would have happened if Webb did come back, safe and sound. Most likely Harm would not be here right now, lying in bed with the woman he loved, with the woman he risked his life for a dozen times. Better yet, what if he didn't crash in the Atlantic? Would he be second place to Mac then? The alternate?  
  
Glancing up into the eyes that now drifted off slightly, he whispered with sincerity, "I'm sorry you lost Webb."  
  
Mac immediately broke out of her thoughts, surprised and touched by Harm's sentiments. For Harm to say something like that with such honesty would be difficult, especially considering his dislike of her relationship with Clay. Caressing his cheek and giving him a sweet kiss, she replied softly, "I love you."  
  
Surprising Mac, Harm pushed himself up out of her arms to lie beside her on his back. He couldn't push away the thoughts of never being in this place, in this time, if Webb didn't perish. Though her words were meant to comfort him, Harm felt second place when compared with Webb, and even Brumby, for that matter. Only mere chances, bad luck in both of their lives, allowed for the two of them to be together. Everyone else was gone. "Would you still love me if Webb was alive?" Harm asked quietly, needing to say it, to release it.  
  
Feeling her heart sink deeper, knowing exactly where Harm was taking the conversation, she honestly didn't know the words to comfort him. Yet she needed to say something, to reassure him not of her love in the situation he presented, but of her love for him now. The love that wouldn't fail or go away. The love that would always exist. Flipping to her side slowly, she leaned over him, seeing his eyes waiting for an answer. "I've always loved you. That hasn't changed, and it never will. Would we be in a relationship if Webb were still alive? I don't know. We've risked our lives so many times for each other," Mac explained softly, settling next to him, her fingertips grazing across his upper shoulder. "Both of us came close to dying so many times, quite a few instances together, yet we survived. Anything, any change in our lives to this point could habce changed this outcome, lessened the chances of us being together, but ..." she trailed off, suddenly feel the words bubbling to her heart as Harm kept his eyes upon her.  
  
Pulling him so they were facing each other, she caressed his face, whispering, "Fate brought us to this point." Taking a hand in hers, she entwined their fingers while she settled her other hand on his heart. A constant rhythm met her palm, the only sound that gave her peace. "It doesn't matter what happened in the past, just like dwelling on 'what if's' gets us nowhere. All I know is that ..." Mac paused, suddenly feeling the power and emotion of the moment, what was to be revealed as she continued, squeezing his hand, "... you're my soul mate, Harmon Rabb. We were meant to be. With you, I'm complete."  
  
Harm felt the emotion begin to rise in his throat, every word, every tear that began to fall, breathing life into his lungs as if for the first time. Leaning his forehead against hers, realizing then that despite everything, they had each other now. Nothing would stop them from being together. Never did he feel like this with any other woman, the love that rooted so deep in his soul. Only then did he notice they were both tearing up, and he laughed slightly, feeling her snuggle closer to him. "Fate brought me to you. You make me a complete man, Sarah Mackenzie. Soul mate."  
  
They kissed passionately, all emotion falling into this one kiss, into this one night. Harm was now convinced he wanted to be with no other woman than Sarah Mackenzie. Only she made him the man he wanted to be, the man he was meant to be. How they got to this point didn't matter, the what- ifs meant nothing. All that mattered now was their love, it's infinite existence, and how it brought them together through all barriers. Harm thought of nothing else as the lights of Las Vegas shined brightly through the dark room, his entire being swallowed by her grace and love.  
  
Mac knew now they were one, something deep inside releasing them to the next step. Soon she felt kisses on her neck, her shoulder, as she wrapped her arms around to his back. Staying in his arms forever would be her wish, if such a request could be fulfilled. Moving her hands to his chest, then to his arms, pulling him closer to her, being with him, making love to him meant more than just passion and desire. It meant so much more, feeling Harm's reach her own. Their souls were now linked.  
  
**McCarren Airport   
Las Vegas   
Monday – 0200 MST  
**  
**_Just you and I  
_**  
Why Harm scheduled their departure flight so late at night, Mac would never know. Of course rain delayed the plane quite a bit, and again they were forced to wait an hour or so before the skies and the runway were safe. Sitting in the terminal alone, Mac tried to read the book in her lap, yet the voice announcing boarding and arrivals, on top of the bustling people in that section of the airport, prevented her from diving into the story. Yet the images truly on her mind concerned a certain Commander in the Navy, hardly able to keep her mind off of him after such an extraordinary weekend. Why did it have to end?  
  
**_Sharing out love together  
_**  
"Coffee?" Harm asked, sitting down next to her. Mac smiled as she took the offered up, sipping it slightly, tasting the wonderful flavor. Luckily the terminal supplied a decent coffee shop to help those leaving at such odd hours.  
  
**_And I know in time   
We'll build the dreams we treasure   
We'll be all right  
_**  
Looking to the bag Harm held in his hand, she saw him searching for the pastries he bought to sweeten the midnight snack a little before the four-hour plane ride home. Yet he grimaced slightly, obviously irritated with the selection given to him by the store. "Something wrong?" Mac asked, unable to keep a straight face, observing his annoyed mood.  
  
**_Just you and I  
_**  
Harm took out a donut, gazing at it. "I asked for a Danish."  
  
Mac smiled openly now, asking simply, "You didn't see what they were putting in the bag?"  
  
**_And I   
Remember our first embrace  
_**  
Harm decided not to answer, however, taking a bite of the donut he didn't order. The icing covered a bit of his upper lip, and Mac giggled as he searched for a napkin, realizing then how disorganized he was with such a simple trip. Harm usually was much more orderly, despite the present evidence to the contrary. Deciding to safe him from his search, Mac grabbed his face, kissing him softly, initially removing the icing from his lips, both laughing lightly.  
  
**_That smile that was on your face   
The promises that we made  
_**  
As she released, Mac saw Harm's stare, his eyes boring into her own. Something was bouncing around in his head, perhaps something he kept to himself the entire weekend. Stating before, Mac always knew Harm's intentions were never just one, but many. The vacation increased their love, desire, passion, and, most importantly, their intimacy. His eyes spoke of another request. "What's going on in that mind of yours, sailor?"  
  
**_And now   
Your love is my reward   
And I'll love you even more   
Than I ever did before  
_**  
Harm smiled then, placing the donut back in the bag, setting it in the chair next to them. Taking her hands in his, knowing the time to make his case was now, he began, "Actually there was another reason why I brought you here."  
  
**_Just you and I  
_**  
Mac smirked, replying, "You can't hide much from me, Harmon Rabb."  
  
**_We can entrust each other  
_**  
Harm shrugged, knowing full well she will probably like his train of thought, what subject remained on his mind for some time now. After the weekend they just shared, Harm was convinced now more than ever that they were ready for this next step. Nothing could stop them. Taking the step together, everything would work out wonderfully. "I've realized that I don't want to leave here, go back to Washington, and go home alone."  
  
**_With you in my life   
There'll never be another   
We'll be all right   
Just you and I  
_**  
Mac believed she knew where this was going, and, in fact, admitted she thought of it often, especially now. Yet she didn't want to believe it, believe the next step arrived for them. "What do you mean?" she asked, guarding her senses from Harm as best she could, not wanting to reveal too much.  
  
**_And I   
Remember out first embrace  
_**  
Sighing slightly, Harm replied, "Well, I love you. I hated not being there for you last week. And now, I never want to leave you. I think maybe ... we should move in together."  
  
**_That smile that was on your face   
The promises that we made  
_**  
The minute he stated his thoughts, intentions, Mac felt a great weight lifted. Something deep inside her reassured her that such a decision was needed, that their relationship was not just a nightly fling here and there, but a serious commitment. This weekend proved their relationship existed on a completely different level, perhaps shining a light on their inability to survive by just seeing each other a few times a week. They loved each other too deeply. Taking his hand in hers, she whispered, "Okay."  
  
**_And now   
Your love is my reward_**  
  
The weekend was complete, Harm and Mac walking hand in hand towards the door leading to the plane. What they needed to accomplish on a personal, intimate level came together, both gaining a new commitment towards the special circumstances of their relationship. They needed each other too much, so often, their souls aching when the other wasn't around. Reaching the door, both handing their tickets to the airline attendant, Harm looked to Mac with happiness dancing in his eyes, kissing her for the last time on Las Vegas soil.  
  
**_And I'll love you even more   
Than I ever did before  
_**  
What they didn't see were the set of eyes staring at them from a far off distance, glancing carefully over a drawn newspaper. What Harm and Mac never suspected was the person who watched them the entire weekend, learning their secret. What never entered their minds, a danger looming in the near future that only the person hiding behind the paper knew of. What was to come, well hidden, as the person stood, walking swiftly to follow the Lieutenant Colonel and Commander on their flight. The future promised to one another would soon fall into jeopardy, this much was certain. Nothing could stop it, as the person sat only a few seats behind. Soon everything would be lost.  
  
**_We made it   
You and I.  
_**  
_Fade out song ....  
_  
**_... More to Come ...  
  
Reviews Welcome!!  
_**


	5. What Dreams May Come

**TITLE:** **_What Happens Here Stays Here_**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

DISCLAIMER: I do not own JAG.

**Author's Note:** FINALLY!!! Wow, did this chapter take a long time. I suffered from quite a bout of writer's block, but finally I got this chapter to work. This story is now moving into the next section, which I decided to keep under the same title. Thank you everyone for your reviews and your patience!!! Thanks for reading. Enjoy!!

**_Chapter Title: What Dreams May Come_**

**Mac's Apartment**

**Georgetown**

**0700 EST**

The thick fog covered the world like a blanket all around him. It started just like this, Harm thought, as he walked cautiously. First darkness, then overcome by fog, and each time he saw more and more. He wondered then how far it would go. Each scene progressed a bit further, only displaying the next minute image, but nothing more. Each night it did this. In fact, for the past month, his mind would not let go of these seemingly meaningless images.

This time, there was more. This time the fog broke slightly before him, Harm never remembering it doing so before. This time the darkness broke into light. What he did not expect to see was her face, the face of the woman he loved. It was the face of the woman that was his life, and he was hers. It was Sarah. She smiled, simple and elegant. He knew that smile, saw that smile on her a million times. He strived for it constantly, to make her smile.

However, fire erupted from behind her, beginning to engulf her. Harm screamed her name, ran towards her, faster and faster. It was all he could do to try and catch her, get to her. It was all he could do to run faster than he ever did so before. He needed to rescue her, and he couldn't let the fire hurt her. As if in response, a man appeared behind her, as she tried diligently to escape the fire beginning to encircle her. Before Sarah realized her current situation, the danger beginning to build, it was too late. The man revealed a pistol, shot it once, twice, and a third.

Harm felt his throat go hoarse, desperately shouting her name, seeing her fall to the ground helplessly. Thoughts of denial, worry, anxiety, haste, needing to get to her as fast as he could to help her. Yet the more he ran, the further away he seemed, the further away he was. The feeling of never getting to her, never catching her, losing her forever, began to shade his heart, his soul. It was too much, and all he could do was shout her name again and again, hoping that something would snap, change things. So he shouted her name.

.....

"Sarah!" Harm shouted, jolting upright in bed, the sweat from his forehead stinging his eyes. Hardly able to catch his breath, his eyes shifted quickly around the room to determine his current location. A dresser with a mirror stood on one wall, a nightstand on either side of the bed, the sun shining brightly though the window, blinding him momentarily, all reassured him he was not in his own apartment, but in Mac's. No fog covered the room, no gunshots, no man, no dying Mac. Only silence met his confused thoughts.

Sighing, Harm dropped back down on the bed, covering his face with his hands. Almost every night was like this, thoughts of losing Mac in such a dramatic way never leaving his dreams. A month he suffered with the problem, and every night the dream worsened. Just as Mac's face flashed across his mind once again, he turned quickly to his right to see if she still slept quietly beside him. However, her side was vacant. Sighing again, he turned to the clock seeing seven o'clock displayed. Not hearing the shower or activity outside the bedroom, he knew Mac left already for her morning run.

Harm must admit his surprise of Mac not waking him to run with her. They shared such an activity together every morning since they moved in together, the early part of the day usually the only time for such closeness. Meetings, court cases, and travel took the rest of the day from them, giving them no time together until the late evening or early morning. If either needed to prepare a huge case or returned home late, the other would try to stay up to wait. More often than not, one of them investigated a case over seas on a carrier while the other waited patiently for their return. Finding time alone turned into a rarity, though much more often than when they lived apart. Not running together when they finally found the chance annoyed Harm a little, only because he spent the previous week on a carrier. Actually, not spending the morning in bed with Mac after finally returning home the night before to find her sound asleep annoyed him slightly.

Finally sitting up, out of bed, and standing, Harm immediately felt the rush of cold air of an early December morning, wearing only shorts and a T-shirt. He hated the winter season, hoping then he might find himself, with Mac, of course, in Hawaii for their retirement. The thought warmed his body enough to do a few exercises, push-ups and sit-ups, since he apparently missed the wake-up call to run, before hurrying into the kitchen to start the coffee. However, looking quickly through the cabinets, no coffee grounds could be found. Grumbling as he left the kitchen, he quickly headed towards the bathroom to take a shower.

Stepping in, he turned the shower on, immediately feeling the force of the water pulsing at his upper back, the particular spot giving him trouble. Since the dreams started, so did the muscle aches, causing him to walk gingerly around JAG on many occasions. His obvious pain turned heads, worrying colleagues. Yet the most important worried face was Mac's, who obviously knew of his back problems, often giving him back rubs to help with the pain. All helped in the moment, yet the pain always returned, worrying Mac that much more. In that instance, images from his dreams flashed across his mind, the man, the gunshots, the fire, and Harm immediately jolted his face out of the steaming shower. Such images he kept to himself, even from Mac. At least until an explanation presented itself. He didn't feel a need to scare Mac for no reason, especially when the dream may just be his imagination, his own fear of losing her.

Walking out of the bathroom and into the living room wearing his black navy pants and a T-shirt, Harm immediately saw Mac in the kitchen cutting up fruit and making breakfast. He could smell the eggs, the coffee, which she must've picked up on her run, and some bacon. Nearly a week since he saw her last, Harm eagerly walked the length of the living room into the kitchen, stepping up and embracing Mac from behind with no hesitation. He sensed Mac's happiness with his movement as she leaned back further into his arms. Placing a kiss on her shoulder, the back of her neck, he whispered, "I've missed you."

Mac smirked, trying to hide her smile as she turned in his arms, settling her hands on his chest. Sleep did not come easy with Harm on a carrier, many nights Mac sitting up to finish work on cases. Having him home meant the universe was back in line, if only for a week. Mac would swear that Admiral Krennick knew about their relationship, constantly sending them on cases located halfway across the world, especially since they moved in together over a month ago. "I've missed you," Mac replied in a whisper, her lips instantly capturing Harm's, the kiss light and sensual. A week since they kissed, Mac thought, an entire week. Remembering that small fact, Mac deepened the kiss, a moan eliciting from Harm in response. As the kiss ended, Mac cupped his face in her hands, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me, too," Harm whispered against her lips, Mac kissing him again. Harm smirked, knowing he thought of Mac every second he was gone, missing her, missing her embrace, her kisses, her soft skin, everything. He missed her playfulness, missed spending the morning in her arms. Tightening his hold around her waist, he finally wanted to ask the question begging to be asked, knowing Mac always had reasons for doing something out of the ordinary, such as not waking him to run with her. "Why didn't you wake me up this morning?" Harm asked softly, stepping back from her a bit, giving them room to talk seriously.

Mac shrugged slightly, moving back to her fruit. "You were finally sleeping soundly, I didn't want to disturb you," she reasoned, cutting more fruit, handing a slice of apple to Harm, who took it.

Sighing, Harm pressed further with a devilish eye before eating the slice of apple, "Hasn't stopped you before."

Mac smirked at his comment, placing all of the fruit into a bowl before turning to him fully. Harm liked to play this game, Mac thought. The game of hiding his true feelings, his weakness. If Harm really thought she didn't notice his sleeping problems, than he wasn't giving her enough credit. Now sleeping beside him every night, noticing Harm's lack of sleep, tossing and turning, up half the night, was not difficult. In fact, the behavior began to worry Mac a bit, knowing how good Harm usually slept. "You haven't been sleeping well lately," she offered simply, matter-of-factly.

"Thought I needed it?" Harm asked, deciding not to budge one bit concerning his current problems. Not because he didn't want to share, but because of the nature of the problem. Knowing so little did not warrant telling Mac when his dreams may just be an overreaction to the next level their relationship has gone. He would deal with the problem in its due time, knowing it may go away just as it came. Harm did not intend on making more out of the dream than needed.

Stepping forward towards Harm, Mac only a few inches from him, a hand clasping his, she replied, "Yeah, I did." Already his face dripped of exhaustion, a burden heavy on his shoulders. Seeing his face as often as Mac has in the past 6 months, noticing small changes came with the territory. Noticing pain in his eyes, worry, trouble. If anything, she hoped her own worry matched with Harm's love for her might encourage him to share his problem. She knew he was hiding one, wishing to bury it, hoping it would solve itself. Yet the problem seemed serious, enough so to prevent him from sleeping, keep his mind off of JAG, his work, and even her.

Harm sighed, choosing to look away, not wanting to lie while looking into Mac's beautiful brown eyes. Her concern made Harm feel extremely special, lucky, knowing full well having Mac care for him as deeply as this meant everything to him. If the problem were different, Harm would probably share it, having told Mac many of his deepest secrets already. A huge part of his heart told him of the commitment he made with Mac by moving in together, though not married, but still promising to share such secrets. The idea of sharing a bed every night didn't just include the physical commitment, but the emotional, as well, promising to face such problems as a couple, as one, never alone. Yet the words releasing from his lips, rolling off his tongue, "It's nothing."

"Being so exhausted that you hardly get through the day is nothing?" Mac pointed out, the fabric of his T-shirt soft in her hands as she fiddled with the bottom, looking down for a second before matching Harm's eyes. She intended on pushing her own conclusions further, not allowing him to hide in the darkness too much longer. To let him get away without telling her would be a personal disappointment for Mac, because his stubbornness would allow him to suffer in his pain alone, despite how easy the solution would reveal itself if she were involved. Facing a problem together would make the pain, the burden much easier to bear. Why did Harm insist on hiding? Did he not know this?

Harm sighed deeply with irritation, wishing the subject never arose, and answered quickly, "I'm just not tired at night." That explanation should be good enough, yet the face meeting him, the eyes that reassured him that such an answer did nothing to lessen Mac's worry for him, Harm knew he needed another story. Actually, Mac seeing his problem, knowing it's existence, told of the extent she paid attention to him, how much she knew of him, and how much she would do for him. Not just love, but deeper. Her emotions did not show of a worried girlfriend, but something much more. Much more indeed. Feeling Mac's hands move to his sides, the soft touch and comfort they brought, he decided to admit, "My back has been hurting some."

Mac only nodded, thinking for a second, knowing his back problems were only a symptom to something much bigger, something possibly neither knew the extent of. Perhaps his lack of sleep, his back problems, exhaustion warned them of something to come. Perhaps Harm knew of what was coming, so afraid to tell her in fear of worrying her, of needing to protect her. Perhaps, Mac thought. In the meantime, knowing nothing of value, she moved her hands to his shoulders, stepping closer, placing a small kiss on his lips. "Okay. You finish up here," Mac began, deciding to go along with his story for the immediate moment, "... and I'll go take a shower. When I return, I'll give you a massage."

Harm smiled, whispering softly, happy she was letting the conversation go, "I'd like that." He captured her lips again, the feel of them a sensation he would never forget for the rest of his life.

Releasing, Mac wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Above all else, Mac needed to reassure him of her utmost commitment. No matter what, she would never leave him, would always help him, even if he wouldn't let her. Through whatever problems, first and foremost, Harm needed to assign Mac's role, which, at the moment, was more physical comfort than emotional. Though the idea hurt Mac slightly, wanting to be there for him in everyway he needed, to concede in the role given was much more important. For the moment, Mac reminded herself. For the moment. Eventually, and quite soon, Harm would learn if this relationship was going to succeed on any level, they needed to be open in every situation. Soon.

Her lips to his ear, she whispered, "This conversation is far from over." With a kiss to his cheek, she moved away, squeezing his hand before leaving him alone in the kitchen.

Harm sighed deeply, turning to place his hands on the counter, leaning on it for support. Watching her leave, he felt his heart sink, realizing how much of a jerk he was, how his concept of hiding for the greater good came back to bite him. Why did he think Mac couldn't handle it? If anyone, Mac of all people could handle his dreams, his fears. So many nights did he lay in her arms, telling her of his past, of all he went through with his father, his family. So often did they comfort each other, so often did they hold each other into the darkness of the night. So often.

He needed to tell her. Soon.

................

**_... More to Come ..._**

**_Reviews Welcome!!!_**

.


	6. Courage Under Fire

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

DISCLAIMER: I do not own JAG.

**Author's Note:** Finally an update. But a long one. Thanks to everyone who has been reading this and enjoying it. It encourages me quite a bit, and I thank you so much for your reviews and kind words. Enjoy! Reviews always welcome!!

**_Chapter Title: Courage Under Fire_**

**JAG Headquarters**

**Falls Church, VA**

**0905 EST**

Petty Officer Jennifer Coates walked around the bullpen, carrying files needing to reach the Admiral's desk ASAP. All morning new files were arriving into JAG Headquarters, the caseload increasing by the second. Why everything was so busy in the Navy and Marine world, Coates would never know. Yet today dared to challenge the skills of the JAG officers, Admiral Krennick in particular, since she took the helm. Not that Admiral Krennick was nice before, but nowadays the Admiral hardly had time for anyone, extra mean. At least Admiral Chegwidden, most of the time, remained someone his officers could talk to, despite his foul mood.

Sighing, as Coates began to enter her office and soon into the Admiral's, she stopped for a second to watch the scene in front. Arriving, always on time, Colonel Mackenzie walked to her office, saying hello to those she passed. In a mere second later, Commander Rabb entered the bullpen, exchanging the same pleasantries as the Colonel. It didn't take long for Rabb to walk over to Mackenzie, smiling warmly, a few words discussed. Even if they were on good terms, they always joked and argued slightly. However, recently, Coates would suggest the previous few months, they still joked but rarely argued.

As she hid a little closer to the entrance of her office, watching carefully as Harm and Mac talked, standing quite close, a voice whispered behind her, "Something interesting?"

Nearly jumping out of her hiding spot, she glanced quickly to see Bud's curious stare. If anyone would notice her strange behavior, it would be Bud. Sighing again, after collecting herself, she indicated towards the Colonel and Commander, explaining, "Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb. They arrive at the same time every day."

Maybe her evidence didn't sound like too much, but Coates knew more.

Bud shrugged, unsure of the path Coates was trying to take him. "So?" The private activities of superior officers probably should not be any of his concern. That would be his answer every time, yet the two superior officers were his two best friends, not including Harriet. What happened in their lives was important to him because of that friendship.

Coates hugged her files a little closer to her as she continued, "And I live next to Commander Rabb. He hasn't been home in days." As neighbors, she noticed his frequency in his apartment. Before a few months ago, he came at least every night, many times spending the entire night at home, especially with Mattie. Even when Mattie first left, much of his time was spent in his apartment, going over cases. However, soon after, Coates never caught the Commander arriving home, and never noticed him leaving for work. If she did, it happened once in awhile, maybe a week at a time, then a week lull. Usually the week he was home, oddly enough, Mac would be gone on assignment. This Coates began to realize the more she added up Harm's strange behavior.

"I really don't think it's any of our business, Jennifer," Bud whispered, though his voice couldn't hide his own curiosity. In many ways, Harm and Mac finally in a relationship meant major changes, for everyone in JAG, really, to some extent. They were the superior officers, both here the longest of everyone. Everyone respected them and looked up to them. If they were in a relationship together, it would be like watching the two most popular kids in high school, the two most compatible, and the pair everyone has been rooting for, finally get together. Yet the inevitable changes would come.

A voice behind Bud and Coates asked sternly, "What is none of your business?" Both Coates and Bud turned quickly to see Sturgis standing there, arms crossed, quite upset with the secrecy taking place in front of him.

Smiling sheepishly, Coates answered, "Well, sir, we were watching Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie."

Sturgis' eyebrows shifted up slightly as he asked, "Why?" He knew why, having noticed the interesting behavior between his best friend and Colonel Mackenzie, yet he intended on keeping any conclusions to himself. As always, he felt such personal information and rumors should be kept out of the JAG office, as it would be unprofessional in such a setting. Knowing the history between Harm and Mac, trying desperately to stay out of it, he always found himself in the middle one way or another. Only the last few months did he hear nothing, or sense no angst between them, which he swiftly contributed to two possible solutions; either they finally decided to stop being childish and just be friends, or they declared their undying love for one another. Oddly enough, Sturgis tended to believe the latter, and he didn't know why.

Bud responded nervously, "No reason really, sir. Only observing their ... punctuality." Instantly Bud knew he overstepped boundaries, feeling guilty of his actions, getting caught by a superior officer.

Sturgis smirked, responding, "Whatever is going on between two officers is their own business. If it happens it spill over into our space, then we deal with it. Otherwise, leave it be."

Coates sighed, looking back to their point of interest, now watching as Harm followed Mac into her office, the door closing behind them. Bud glanced to Coates, shrugged his shoulders, and then left towards his own office. Though he would love to know what his two friends were talking about, now somewhat convinced something may be going on, he did have work to do. Sturgis, of course, was right. Until the information dropped into his lap on accident, he couldn't go on a quest to prove his suspicions right.

Sturgis smiled, only sensing Admiral Krennick's approach from behind in the very last second before their commanding officer asked, "Were those files ever going to reach my desk, Petty Officer?"

Coates turned quickly to the Admiral standing behind them, waiting patiently for an answer. The files in Coates hand, she insisted, "Ma'am, I was just on my way. Sorry. I'll get them to your desk ..."

"Don't bother now," Krennick snapped, grabbing the files from Coates, sighing with irritation. Today was not the day to anger the Admiral, Coates already weathering her foul mood during the entire morning. Coates cursed herself, knowing better than to trip up on her duties during such a time of change, getting caught up in activities non-JAG related during JAG hours, on the Admiral's time. An angry Krennick would not help the already shaken JAG office, the many officers under her command busy just trying to deal with the change of a new commanding officer. "Go tell Colonel Mackenzie I request her presence in my office ASAP."

Sturgis smirked slightly as he glanced to the Petty Officer, Admiral Krennick quickly striding back to her office. Of all those in the bullpen, Petty Officer Jennifer Coates handled the change the best, especially considering her duties and the majority of her time in the close proximity of the difficult Admiral. Concentrating many of her thoughts on a possible office romance probably helped Coates deal with Krennick that much better. Reaching over to give her a pat on the shoulder, Sturgis offered, "Hang in there, Petty Officer."

As he left, Coates' eyes gazed over to Colonel Mackenzie's office door, determined to shake off her mistake. Coates needed to prove herself to the Admiral, pretend she was once again serving underneath Admiral Chegwidden, praying the days would quickly pass. In the meantime, she would fetch Colonel Mackenzie; all the while keeping her eyes open for more reasons to believe the two were in a relationship. She wouldn't snoop, just be observant. That's all.

**Mac's office**

**JAG Headquarters**

**0905 EST**

Mac began to unlock her office door, arriving on time, despite the horrible traffic coming in. Her mind should be on the enormous amount of cases awaiting her attention and expertise, already remembering the many meetings with clients she needed to attend today. However, in the back of her subconscious sat Harm's problems, his insistence of hiding them, the burden he carried. The question rising in her heart asked why Harm didn't want to tell her his problem, why he preferred to go through it alone. Since they moved in together, Mac felt, if anything, Harm would be more willing to share. Or, at least, he should be considering the new dynamic their relationship was now in, what it required.

"Hey," Harm called behind, stepping up, having just arrived at JAG himself. Of course, they arrived a few minutes apart to create the illusion of two people arriving to work from separate locations. Hopefully the trick worked, yet Harm wasn't thinking of this. On his mind was something much more important, something he forget to mention at breakfast this morning.

Mac turned towards Harm and smiling as she sensed the difficulty she would have accomplishing any work today. Harm was most attractive in the black navy uniform he now wore, the entire morning Mac barely able to get ready for work while observing him during breakfast and before they left the apartment. The thought caused her to blush slightly, desperately trying to hide her reaction as she returned, "Hey." Harm didn't need something else to add to his ego, though Mac felt that night she may insist on living out her current fantasy.

"Can we talk?" he whispered subtly, instantly catching Mac's attention. Either something crazy happened on the way to work that Harm needed to talk about, or perhaps he finally felt the need to tell her about his problem. Whichever scenario, Mac certainly felt intrigued. Usually they do all of their talking and sharing the night before or that morning, rarely during work. Though, Mac thought now, he could be talking about a case.

Mac nodded, stepping into her office, giving Harm room to walk in behind her. Setting her briefcase next to her desk, she removed her coat and hung it on her coat rack. "Something wrong, Commander?" she asked, a little playfully, attempting to lighten the conversation to come. For some reason, Mac felt the topic was a bit serious if Harm needed to instantly talk to her the minute they arrived at work. If the topic were so important, however, Mac would have expected him to share it that morning. Yet she knew whatever it may be, she needed to be there for him.

Harm stepped up to her desk, watching as Mac sat down behind it, flipping her computer on. The week apart from Mac gave him the chance to think about many different aspects of their relationship, mostly concerning its general direction. When he wasn't suffering from his horrible dreams, Harm thought constantly of his future with Mac. The further their relationship progressed, the closer the time came when keeping everything secret would be impossible. Honestly, Harm felt it necessary to begin letting immediate family know of the wonderful life changes occurring in their lives, the undying connection between them. "I talked to Mattie last night," Harm began.

Mac immediately smiled, glancing up at Harm's content face. Such news assured Harm of the right choices he made in his life recently. Dealing with Mattie's departure hurt Harm greatly, many nights causing him to lay awake with worry and sadness for his loss. It took him months to fully accept the sudden change, Mac sitting up with him night after night once their relationship initially began. He needed someone to hold him then, tell him all would turn out fine, attempt to fill the void left in Mattie's wake. Though the latter request was next to impossible to accomplish, Mac knew she filled a section in Harm's heart, one reserved especially for her ever since they met. "How is she doing?" Mac asked.

"She's doing great, really getting used to her current situation, her father," Harm informed, smiling, deeply happy that Mattie's life was turning out wonderfully. Even though the change hurt it was essential. Honestly, though Harm missed Mattie greatly, he sensed all turned out for the best. Harm quickly added, crossing his arms over his chest, "I was thinking the three of us could go to dinner Saturday night." His eyes matched Mac's, searching for her first reaction, any clue to her true feelings of such a request.

Actually, Mac wondered then why Harm didn't mention such a scenario sooner. Each knew Mattie was beginning to suspect something, often asking Harm why he never answered his phone at night. Moving in together only made the secret much harder to keep. Though they lived in Mac's apartment, Harm chose to keep his own apartment, if only to keep up the masquerade of still being single. If someone at JAG happened to find out he moved out of his apartment, suspicions would arise and soon their relationship would be revealed. For that reason only did Harm keep some personal positions in his apartment, sometimes returning to it for show. Mac knew of the extreme difficulty, relieved to know Harm wanted to lessen the burden a little. Smiling, Mac leaned back in her chair, replying, "That sounds good to me."

Harm noticeable smiled in relief, happy Mac accepted the invitation, not only to reveal their relationship to someone for the first time, but willing to take that next step with him. Just the idea excited him, assured him of his place with this woman, of the relationship they shared. Everything fit perfectly. "Great," Harm remarked, smiling widely, wanting to give her a small kiss.

A knock at the door quickly made Harm forget his intentions, Mac sighing herself in response as she glanced at the closed door. This was exactly why they rarely talked of serious subjects at JAG. Not only because they might get caught, but because they were constantly interrupted Luckily the conversation was essentially over. "Yes?" Mac called, smirking slightly at the timing of such interruptions. They never got caught doing something they shouldn't, always held back, and, as far as they knew, had yet been discovered, despite the interruptions.

"It's Petty Officer Coates, ma'am," came the voice behind the door.

Harm smiled, glancing to Mac, who began to laugh lightly as she called back, "Come in, Petty Officer."

Once Coates opened the door, Harm turned glanced quickly to the Petty Officer before turning to Mac. Right now, the last thing they needed was rumors, everything in their masquerade to this point proceeding as they wished and planned. Leaving this situation quickly was quite wise to insure no one suspected anything, treating his small meeting with Mac as purely professional and nothing more. Beginning to walk past Coates and to the door, Harm replied to Mac, "That's my cue to leave. See you at lunch." He smiled to Coates as he began to walk out the door.

However, quickly Mac caught him by calling behind with insistence, "Wait, no, Harm." Harm stopped mid stride, turning to glance at Mac. She knew he forgot much of the day's schedule; both of their minds caught up in much more than just JAG cases. Though everyday they ate lunch together, today would not allow them that time together at all. "You're in court all day," she began, "and I'll be out in Norfolk investigating a case."

The knowledge she spoke of seemed almost automatic, like she knew of his schedule as if it was apart of hers. Mac knew where he would be most of the morning and the afternoon, knew what he was doing, what cases he was trying. Knowing such details, despite being Harm's best friend, was unusual. Unusual for just a friend. Coates noted this, sensing once again something much more going on here. Harm nodded knowingly, realizing Mac was quite correct of his schedule and their inability to meet.

"That's right. I'll see you when you get back then," Harm promised subtly, giving her a wink before leaving the office completely.

Mac tried desperately to hide her smile, hoping her time in investigation might take her mind off of Harm, of his problems, of her own problems. Though forgetting about Harm usually was quite difficult, especially when he became more and more apart of her life. An important part, a section of everything she was. Whenever she heard his name, conversations concerning him, Mac felt a duty to listen in, to talk of him as if she knew everything about him. To talk of him as if he belonged to her. Because he did. Because she loved him deeply. Because everything he was going through, she was also suffering, as well. Because she wanted to know everything about him. Because she would readily risk everything for him. Because she would die for him.

Suddenly glancing to Coates, Mac asked quietly, needing to change what her mind concentrated on, "What did you want, Jennifer?"

Coates pretended she saw nothing, knew of nothing, only of her immediate task. Maybe she saw something she shouldn't, or sensed a situation of great importance, but none of it needed to concern her. None of it was her business. Coates fought back her curiosity, a need to inquire further of what she interrupted. Acting ignorant would be her best ally. "The Admiral requests to see you ASAP, ma'am."

Mac nodded, standing up, feeling the shift from personal life to professional happen quickly. The time to get back to work was now. "Okay."

**Admiral Krennick's office**

**JAG Headquarters**

**0920 EST**

"Come in!" Krennick called, sitting at her desk and scribbling more notes to a case. Looking up, she saw Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie step in quickly, moving to the front of the desk at attention. Krennick tended to like Mackenzie the most in comparison to the rest of the officers that served underneath her. The Colonel worked hard, gave all she had to cases, and rarely backed away from a difficult case. On top of that, the Colonel was extremely intelligent, usually winning her cases with no problem. The only adversary Mackenzie stumbled with was Commander Rabb, only winning half of her cases, at most, when she faced him.

"You requested me, ma'am," Colonel Mackenzie stated.

Krennick nodded. "At ease, Colonel." If anything, Krennick tended to see much of herself in the Colonel, a tough woman struggling to make herself known in the military world. Before she took command, Krennick looked into each of the officers serving under her, attempting to obtain a clearer picture of each. Word of Mackenzie reflected her commitment, her strength, her toughness, as well as her strong fight for the truth. Her style was "shoot from the hip", by the book, on top of being a great investigator. The latter was most important the moment. "You can sit, Colonel. I have a case for you."

Colonel Mackenzie took the advice, sitting comfortably in front of Krennick's desk, folding her hands in her lap. The new challenge would help Mac take her mind off of everything going on in her life, give her a chance to breath a bit after so much worry. Work tended to be a way to escape in many instances, such personal issues as Mic leaving her, almost losing Harm, and Clayton's death. At the moment, it would serve the same purpose, taking her mind off of Harm's personal issues. "Excellent," Mac remarked.

Krennick stood and walked to the front of her desk and leaned back against it. Whenever the case was a difficult one, or the task she was about to assign would be challenging, Krennick liked to talk on a personal level. The desk tended to be a barrier when attempting to ease her officers' minds. Sitting with her officers, standing with them as an equal helped her reassure them of her decision to give them such an important case. This instance was no different. "A Lance Corporal Stevens was on patrol with another Corporal one night. They were attending to their tasks when a shot suddenly rang out, causing both to drop to the ground quickly. On further inspection, the Lance Corporal was grazed in the arm by the bullet. Their CO, a Captain Mason, claimed he saw an intruder in their camp and fired. However, the Lance Corporal claims his CO was aiming for him. So he's pressing charges."

Mac smirked slightly, sensing already the "he said, she said" aspect of this case. Initially the case seemed like a can of worms, though, as Mac always believed, the truth could always be discovered. Such a challenge was exactly what Mac was looking for. "I'll be glad to take the case on, ma'am," Mac replied with content.

Yet there was much more, Krennick thought. Much more. Grabbing the case file from her desk, she handed it to Colonel Mackenzie, watching as the Colonel took the folder and opened it. The reaction Krennick expected of Mackenzie came quickly, that of surprise and disbelief. The case sounded simple, possibly a younger soldier looking for a reason to take out his CO because of another problem. Such a conclusion would not be unheard of, especially considering where they were stationed, the craziness yet truth of the CO's story. "Iraq?" Mac asked, the disbelief evident in her voice. This Mac did not expect.

Krennick nodded, sighing slightly before continuing, "The case has captured the attention many in Washington because of its delicate nature. The press is already talking about it. I needed to send my best, someone who could talk to the two Marines on a different level than a normal JAG. Being a Marine, Colonel, I thought you were best for the job. There's a great need to get this taken care of quietly. By the Navy sending one of their best, they hope it will show how serious the case is being taken." Krennick knew she made the right decision, having to decide between Rabb and Mackenzie. She couldn't send both because of the amount of cases at JAG's doorstep at the moment. The sound of the case spoke of a misunderstanding, possibly a chance to get the charges dropped if handled correctly. Such mistakes, friendly fire, happened often in wartime.

Though Mac may have attempted to think of work and her cases, now she couldn't help but think of Harm once again. He would be upset greatly of her departure to such a dangerous place, especially without him coming along. Since their new relationship began, Harm's protectiveness of Mac increased. He would not deal with this well at all. Honestly, Mac didn't know how she would feel if the roles were reversed, probably would have just as much difficulty letting Harm go as Harm would have letting her go. But Mac had no choice. And she wasn't going to let fear rule her life. "How long will I be gone?" Mac asked, finally collecting her thoughts.

"A week at the most," Krennick responded, initially easing Mac's worries a bit. She knew how difficult this would be for the Colonel, no one wanting to be sent to Iraq, in such dangerous conditions. But as every other soldier, Krennick knew Mac would do her duty and do it gladly. Fear would not be an issue for the Colonel, and soon the case would be over before it began.

Mac then asked quietly, glancing up at the Admiral, "When do I leave, ma'am?" If she had a few days, she could give Harm a chance to get used to the idea, possibly convince him everything would be fine. If she left today, she probably wouldn't be given the chance to say goodbye. Living such a life certainly strained their relationship to some extent. Mac couldn't deny that. She knew Harm would understand her duty, would understand she would have no choice. Yet it would still be very difficult for him. Know she couldn't keep Harm off of her mind, his face, his reaction, his fear overflowing in her heart.

Krennick responded, "Tomorrow morning."

Mac nodded, feeling a small relief in knowing it gave her at least a little time to ease Harm into this. She was only gone for a week, so that would help. The week would pass; she would be home with Harm, all problems passed. Yet the time away from each other would put stress on their relationship, having been away from each other the entire week before. Not only that, but Mac would miss the dinner with Harm and Mattie. The timing of such an assignment couldn't be worse.

**Courtroom**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1100 EST**

Harmon Rabb listened intently to the testimony, his friend and colleague Sturgis Turner issuing the questions to his client. Though Harm wanted all of his attention to be on the case at hand, he quickly found his mind traveling to the dream that didn't leave him. The images began to flash across his mind again, causing him to settle a hand across his face, attempting to will them out. But they wouldn't leave. In a mere second his mind no longer listened to the testimony but was overcome by the flashing images of Sarah, the man, the gunfire.

Not only could he not get the images out of his mind at a time when they were truly unwelcome, Harm also began to see the dream play out in front of his eyes. Never did he experience this before, now the dreadful scene taking him while he was awake. He tried to close his eyes, hoping the scene would leave, but the images were pasted on the inside of his eyelids. He couldn't escape it. Why was this happening? Why?

Before Harm knew it, the same scene played itself out. He watched as Sarah came towards him, yet this time she was running. She never ran before, usually merely walking. Now she was running. Running. Her face spoke of desperation and fear. Fear for what? Yet before Harm could answer his own question, the man appeared behind her again. Again Harm tried desperately to run, but found his legs in horrible pain. He couldn't move far in his previous dreams for the same reason, realizing this in hindsight. Soon he fell to the ground, began to crawl towards Sarah as she continued to run towards him. Yet she didn't get too far.

Suddenly the man appeared from behind, Sarah sensing and stopping to turn, fire erupting around her once again. Harm cried out her name over and over again, reached for her, desperately moving towards her at a failing pace. He would never reach her time. The man stopped as he pulled out his pistol, shot once. Twice. A third. Harm saw Sarah fall to the ground, the agony overflowing Harm's soul. A pain drilled through his entire body, and again he cried out.

"No!" Harm cried out, pushing himself away from his desk and standing. The sweat dripped off of his face again, his breath ragged, the fear enveloping him, blanketing him in darkness. Yet he did not see or sense the confused stares, the glances of worry towards his direction.

Sturgis walked up to his friend, placing a hand on his arm. "Harm?" he whispered in great question, concern filling his voice.

The judge asked with worry, "Commander Rabb, is everything okay?"

Harm began to catch his breath ever so slightly, enough to push the images out of his mind as he realized what just happened. Looking around, he saw the judge staring at him not with anger but with concern, knowing Commander Rabb never acted like this. Something was definitely wrong. Harm turned to see Sturgis, who waited for an answer, his eyes displaying great worry for his friend. Never did dreams take Harm's life like this, take his soul in such a way. Why?

Collecting himself, he looked to the judge. "Your Honor, I request a 5 minute recess." He couldn't be here right now; he needed to break away for a second, the sickness in his stomach rising quickly. He felt tingling sensations all through his body, under his skin. Whether it was his mind playing tricks on him, or the utter shock of the dream finally overtaking him, he didn't know. But he needed to leave, and quickly.

The judge nodded, hitting the gavel. "A 5 minute recess." The judge knew something was wrong, knew she needed to give him a chance to figure out the problem.

Before Sturgis took a chance to talk to him, Harm bolted out of the courtroom, the doors behind him swinging with an eerie silence in his wake. For some reason, Sturgis reasoned the problem having something to do with Sarah Mackenzie, rightfully so, knowing nothing else in Harm's life took such a toll on him. Whatever it may be, Sturgis felt a dire need to ensure his friend was all right. Maybe this moment was not the time, but soon Sturgis would inquire. Soon he would find out.

**Men's bathroom**

**JAG Headquarters**

**1110 EST**

Harm stormed through the door, the sensation deep in his stomach quickening his movements as he shifted quickly to ensure he was alone. Once he reached an open stall, he barreled through, the urgency finally relieving itself as he bent over the toilet. The initial sickness soon left. His breathing had yet come under control as flushed the toilet and pulled back away, leaning against the wall of the stall for support. He closed eyes, his hand involuntarily going to unbutton the coat of his uniform to help give him air. So reactionary, so overwhelming was the dream that he did not have a chance to think of what he saw.

Stepping out of the stall, he stepped to a sink and turned on the cold water, splashing his face over and over again. Initially the chill quickly brought his mind back to reality, the images slipping from his mind second by second. He then looked at himself in the mirror, turned off the water, hoping the images would leave, seeing a burdened, terrified face staring back at him. Why was this happening?

The images were terrifying enough, yet his reaction came from one concept; he loved Mac. He didn't just love her; he loved her deeply, as deeply someone could be loved. So often did he imagine their future together, their life. For the first time in his life he felt happiness shade his soul, everything he wanted finally coming together. How long it took for him to finally show Mac how he felt, tell her, love her. To lose all of that in a few seconds, as he dream suggested, made him sick to his stomach. Sick because there was nothing he could do, no matter how strong he was, how fast he was, how smart he was. According to his dream, if it were true, he would lose everything that mattered to him. It was enough to lose Mattie, now he would lose Mac, too.

Just the thought, the promise of his dream made him sick to his stomach, caused him to breath rigidly, the sensations filling him with terror beyond his comprehension. Could he prevent this? Could he make sure that Mac didn't get herself in dangerous situations until the dream passed? Was that possible?

Or was this just a dream and he was overreacting? If that were true, why was his dream getting worse? Why did the images never leave him?

Sighing deeply, Harm leaned heavily over the sink, only the sound of water dripping quietly answering his pleas.

**_.... More To Come ..._**

_**Reviews Welcome!!!**_


	7. Husband and Wife

_**TITLE**: What Happens Here Stays Here_

**RATING:** PG-13

**PAIRING:** Harm/Mac

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own JAG.

**Author's Note:** I thought I would never write this. Wow. Thanks to Elvis Presley and Nicholas Sparks for being my muses. I don't know why, but I write better when I listen to Elvis. Anyway, from difficult schedules to finding time on the computer, I've finally finished the next section. Thanks to everyone for their kind words and wonderful reviews. Enjoy this section! Reviews always welcome. This is a big update, that's why it took so long, as well.

**_Chapter Title: Husband and Wife_**.

**Mac's Apartment**

**Georgetown**

**1920 EST**

Nights came quickly this time of year, the apartment turning darker by the minute. Mac, sitting on the couch, decided to review a few case files after work while she waited for Harm to come home. She already changed her clothes to something much more casual, jeans and a red sweater Harm had given her for her birthday. Though the furnace turned on slightly, warming the apartment because of the cold chill outside, Mac felt a need to light a fire, more for the affect than the warmth. The flames now danced aimlessly in her fireplace, sending shadows across the ceiling and walls. Intending to do work turned quickly futile as her eyes became weary from staring at the same page for an hour. Again she turned her gaze from the files to the window, for the hundredth time, searching.

Mac worried about him now. Her Harm. Her worry overwhelmed her so, for two reasons. The first reason was plain and simple; Iraq. Harm would be devastated, angry, upset to hear Mac would be traveling to such a dangerous place. Sure he knew it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her schedule. She truly had no power over where she was assigned and what she was assigned to. Harm knew this. They both did. The anger and devastation came with the question of why. Why Mac was chosen. Why she had to go. And despite the knowledge that the investigation would not take more than a week, Mac couldn't help but be a little worried herself, not to mention how Harm would react. She knew why she was, why Harm would be. The second reason ...

The second reason.

After returning from Norfolk that afternoon she overheard a conversation in the break room, one that surprised and angered her all at the same time. She didn't expect to hear Harm's name on the lips of every officer, the story spreading in a shocked, hushed whisper across the bullpen. The story quickly caught on, no one believing Commander Rabb's ability to lose it in court. Never did he act so. And why did he? No one believed the case had anything to do with his problem. The problem, according to many different sources, forced him into a mad dash towards the bathroom. The word he shouted, simply 'no', frustrated those who heard the story. It gave no special window into his problem whatsoever. Though his mind clearly gravitated to a completely different time, to a different universe, a reaction to something much bigger than anyone could fathom.

Mac felt surprise just as everyone else, surprised Harm would let himself act out, unable to control his emotions. In court of all places.

There was also anger. Anger. Harm insisted he didn't have a problem, Mac satisfied to finally have evidence to the contrary. Now he would have to tell her. He couldn't escape. Yet Mac couldn't help but feel betrayed, lied to. Why didn't Harm tell her? Did he not trust her?

Sighing, Mac finally placed the files from her lap to the coffee table before her, officially giving up. Hot tea quickly replaced the files previously in her hands, the warm steam filling her nostrils, covering her face in a lovely blanket. She took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to assume its rejuvenating affect. Long days, just like this one, strained her muscles, her shoulders, her neck. Dealing with the strain was easier ten years ago, now Mac feeling her body unable to handle the stress and pain with the same ease. She longed for simpler days, days characterized by her children playing in the backyard, watching them from the porch swing while arms encircled her with affection.

The dream, however, wouldn't come true if Harm didn't trust her. He tended to retreat from personal conversations, only sharing the bare minimum with certain subjects. Some topics he talked of constantly, such as his family, his father, and Mattie. Others, including his feelings and deeper problems of the soul, he kept mainly to himself. Mac shared quite a bit with Harm, often including him in many aspects of her life. Truthfully, she knew there were some things about herself that she didn't share with him, maybe out of fear. Fear of his reaction, or knowing that such a light had never been shown on that part of her life before. Illuminating such secrets may reveal too much, more than she was ready to face. She just wasn't ready.

_Not ready. _

Perhaps Harm was feeling the same way.

Maybe she shouldn't convict him before she heard more.

However, only anger claimed her heart. Maybe she wasn't ready, but she wanted to be. She was trying to fulfill the role that came with their decision, a role that promised each other someone to come home to, even disregarding all others. When she lived with Mic she never had this problem. Yet the relationship with Mic then never edged close to what she has with Harm now. There was no denying how close they were, how intimate they had become. After talking night after night before they moved in, why, then, couldn't they talk now?

"Hey." Mac turned to see Harm smiling as he walked into the apartment, his voice raspy with exhaustion. By his face, she would guess he just returned from a dangerous mission. One in which he almost didn't make it home.

"Hey." Though she had a million things to say, nothing else seemed appropriate.

Harm peeled off his coat and hung it on the coat rack next to the door. His motions were slow and steady, his mind clearly not thinking of anything Mac could guess. As he turned around, Mac noticed his uniform coat fully unbuttoned, one lapel not folded over completely. He walked gingerly to the couch and sat heavily next to Mac, setting his hands on his thighs. The handsome face Mac was so used to now dawned wrinkles at the edge of his eyes. Tonight he looked his age for the first time she could remember.

Settling his head back against the couch, Harm slouched a little, one hand reaching to his temples to rub the pounding headache away. Though Mac wouldn't admit becoming impatient, she quickly concluded that if she were going to learn anything about today, she needed to ask. In a round about way, of course. Subtly. It couldn't be obvious, scaring Harm back into his shell before the conversation even began. If she coaxed him a little, eased him, maybe he would share.

"How was your day?" she finally asked. Yes, the question was a normal one. Stereotypical even. But it needed to start somewhere.

Harm shrugged. "Fine."

"How was court?"

"Good."

"Nothing unusual happened?"

"Nope." Harm's throat felt raw, tight, the day's events finally catching up to him. Speaking in court never caused his throat to hurt, no matter how much talking he did. Yet he knew the pain in his throat had nothing to do with talking, more like yelling, perhaps even crying. Harm rarely cried much, either. Trying to remember the last time he cried became quickly difficult. If he didn't count this evening, of course. In his office. When everyone was gone. He sat in his office then.

By himself.

And he cried.

For his Sarah.

Mac knew he was trying to escape, to hide. Hearing the rumors frightened her slightly, everything finally coming to a point where something needed to be said. Letting it go before was Mac's own fault. And the mistake was hers. Not forcing him to share before this may have given him more reason to hide under his rock. If she didn't love him enough to make him tell her, why would he feel reason to think she would want to know now? This new setting, living together, strained the relationship somewhat, particularly in this area. Sometimes Mac wondered if they made a mistake, if they rushed to this stage a little too quickly.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, lightly.

Harm turned toward her then, suddenly aware of her persistence. Did she know something? He couldn't help but conclude she did, according to her questions, the worry shading her beautiful brown eyes. Of course she worried about him lately, especially considering his mood and strange behavior. For him, hiding his problem seemed the best solution, only because of its delicate nature. It was up to him to protect her, his responsibility. He needed to carry this burden for her after everything she has suffered in the past year. The last thing Harm wanted was for Mac to take on more problems, especially when they were his. The dream was just that, a dream. He was convinced there was nothing more to it. Yet the sickness he felt today, the unexplainable fear, dared to prove him wrong.

However, he knew he needed to continue to play the role he began until it was obvious she knew about his current problem. Being strong for Mac was also something he took very seriously, a responsibility he had in the relationship. He wouldn't falter here. "Are you sure _you_ are okay?" he repeated back, sitting up on the couch.

Mac wondered then if she should say something, tell him of Iraq. His reaction, above everything else, might give her an opening to discuss his real problem. Maybe he would feel a need to tell her knowing she was leaving for a while. Yet Mac didn't think of this possibility as a reason to say something to him concerning her next case. Deep down she wanted him to find out, wanted to tell, see his face, have him worry just as much as she worried for him recently. No matter how much love survived between them, Mac still felt distant to him. Right now she felt like she lived on another planet.

"I'm fine," she lied lightly.

Harm huffed. "You don't look fine."

"Neither do you," Mac shot back.

Silence quickly filled the air, suffocating both as they stared endlessly at each other. Both were hiding now, both knew it. Why each felt a need to hide, neither would know. Yet the silence was becoming too much for Harm. Like the constant tick-tock of a clock, so was the pop and crackle of the fire, distracting, rhythmic, intensifying the moment.

Harm knew she sensed something. Of course she suspected. Without having anything meaningful to say, Harm finally whispered, "I don't want to argue tonight."

Mac smirked, seeing the image of a man begging for a life preserving after just being thrown off the ship. "Fine," she began, deciding to turn towards him, propping her leg up on the couch between them to do so. "Let's just talk."

Harm quickly decided then to change the subject. "So you're day was fine?" His eyes brows shifted up slightly, trying to act casual, waiting for an answer. Sweat already began to dampen his back in anticipation of this conversation growing much worse. Yes, Harm thought, Mac didn't want to let it go. He hoped she would give him space to deal with the dream the way he saw fit, but that seemed highly unlikely.

Mac didn't bite, asking instead, "What happened to you in court today?"

_She knew!_

How could she know?

Maybe Sturgis said something?

Actually, he realized then the action of leaving court so abruptly, him of all people, would make JAG office front headlines. Mac learning of it would be no difficult feat. She obviously believed them, as well. She had no reason not to believe, especially when she knew his strange behavior as of late. He had no intentions of talking about it tonight, and he still didn't. Standing, he walked around the couch and headed towards the kitchen, saying as he left, "It was nothing."

Mac smirked, watching him leave into the kitchen. Harm probably assumed it would be enough to deter her from inquiring further. Yet he knew better. Mac hoped he did, especially considering the length of time they have been in a relationship and all they should know about each other. These stretched from Harm's tendency to snore when he was exhausted at night to Mac's need for her morning coffee. The little things that neither knew about the other until they really started spending time together. Not just routines or tendencies, but also Harm's dream of a huge house with a porch that extends all around it. He dreams of days where all he worries about is what they've have for dinner, perhaps rushing to ensure he makes his son's baseball game, and the next night clears his schedule to see his daughter's school play.

Remembering this, knowing their lives, their future, ran along the same unknown path, Mac knew she needed to fight for it now. Usually fighting helped nothing, often both just needing a chance to release tension. Tonight, however, the fight would change things. Standing up, Mac intended on beginning that change.

"Remember Admiral Krennick called me into her office this morning." A statement of reference, not a question.

Immediately Harm appeared through the doorway, his curiosity peaked. He held a Coke in his hand, something, Mac remembered, Harm rarely drank. With Mattie around during most of the previous year, and then starting a relationship with Mac, Harm didn't buy any beer for his refrigerator. Both instances he felt it best to keep the alcohol out, and both instances for good reasons. Mattie was too young and Harm didn't believe he would act the good role model if he drank beer around her. And Mac, well, that was obvious. Being with someone who has been sober for quite some time, Harm didn't feel it appropriate to drink any alcohol around her, either. Despite Mac's insistence that such activity wouldn't bother her, Harm felt differently. With no beer, Mac mused, Harm tended to drink a Coke as a stress reliever. Why? Mac didn't know. It was still something she needed to find out about him.

"Yeah. What did she want?" he asked simply, non-threatening.

Mac stood up from the couch. "She gave me a new case."

Harm nodded. "Good." For some reason, Harm sensed this was going somewhere. "Is the case going to be difficult?" 

"No, not really," Mac informed, walking around the couch so Harm could see her clearly.

Harm stepped a little out of the kitchen, now quite interested in what Mac was trying to say. Something was hiding beneath this meeting with Krennick, something she wanted to wait for the right time to reveal. Initially, he couldn't imagine what information could be so sensitive. This was Krennick, not a doctor's visit or anything. Maybe Mac was being transferred? But what did that have to do with being assigned a new case? Sighing, without any meaningful question, he asked, "What? Will it take a lot of time?" That could be a problem considering their inability to find time alone together, despite the fact they lived together.

Mac stepped closer. "I'm going to Iraq." There, she said it.

Harm couldn't hide his confusion, unable to fathom her words completely. Everything seemed to stop at her words, every sound, every motion, all the world waiting in anticipation. Had he heard right? He didn't think he did. _But maybe ..._

_Iraq?_

_But why?_

Nothing made sense. Placing his Coke down on the dining room table next to him, he moved a little closer. Somehow he felt a move might make the information clearer. Maybe she misspoke, or he misunderstood. "Iraq?" he asked in utter disbelief.

Mac simply nodded. "Iraq. That's where the incident took place, and Krennick wants it to be dealt with there." Her words came off confident, unwavering. Showing her fear now would only fuel Harm's own distress. She needed to stay sure of the decision, even though it wasn't her own. As a Marine, weakness was not an option, especially in situations such as this one. Especially when she had no reason to be upset. Especially when convincing the love of her life there was nothing to worry about.

Without much comprehensive thought, Harm asked with a tint of annoyance, "How long?" It was the first question among many that rushed to the front of his mind. Why he chose this one to ask first, he really didn't know. After just returning from a case of his own, one that sent him to a carrier to the other side of the globe, he both understood and dreaded this current situation. Understanding she had no say in where she was sent, but dreading it because he would go days, perhaps weeks, without her. But this wasn't just another case, or another location. This was _Iraq_.

Mac glanced down to the floor slightly, crossing her arms across her chest, replying quietly, "A week, at least."

Harm's anger began to flood to his eyes, his face a flush of red. The pang of worry grew steadily by the second, deep in his gut. Quickly his dream flashed before his eyes once again, all the pain, the helplessness, and Mac's death. Galloping off to Iraq was the last thing he expected, certainly hurting his chances to keeping an eye on her until his dream subsided. After the word, _Iraq_, sank in, he realized quickly his dream may be coming true right before his eyes. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"I don't want you to go, Mac," Harm stated, more like pleaded. Stepping closer, he hoped she would catch exactly how serious he was in his request. She needed to understand his reservations, his unique view into what would happen if she went. He felt it now, the heat from the fire in his dreams, the engulfing flames, the bullets whizzing by his head.

His screams.

They deafened him now. He could feel it.

Mac merely shook her head. "I have to, Harm. You know that." Her words were stinging with truth. To believe otherwise was ignorant.

Yet Harm couldn't let it go. "No, Mac," he insisted with a great force behind his voice, stepping much closer this time, inches away from her now. "You can call Krennick, tell her ..." he began to explain with haste.

"Tell her what?" Mac interrupted, again speaking sense.

"I don't know," Harm returned with slight anger, his voice rising by the second. "You have to tell her something, because I'm not going to let you go."

"You're insane. You know there's nothing I can say," she shouted back. "This is the Navy's schedule, not mine."

Harm broke away then, moving to the other side of the room with great frustration. Pacing back and forth, hands on his hips, he persisted, "I'm not letting you go. _I'll_ call Krennick ..."

Mac moved up to him then and grabbed his arms. Only then did she feel him shaking, the unraveling of his emotions coming out in short breaths, the flush of red on his face never leaving. He wasn't just angry. Mac could see that. He was upset. He was worried. He was scared. Holding his eyes with her own, she said confidently, "I'll be fine, Harm. In a week, it'll be over."

He shook his head. Why couldn't she see? Harm needed her to understand. "No, Mac. It's dangerous over there. If something were to happen to you ..." His voice trailed off in a hurry, the very thought causing him to perspire even more. Losing Mac in his dreams was bad enough. Losing her for real ... well, that was something he truly didn't feel he could survive. Just the thought made his heart beat faster, his breathing become ragged. He shoved her hold of his arms away, moving back towards the couch behind her.

Seeing how flustered he was frightened Mac, surprised her. She knew his fear, knew his worry. But the fear seemed intoxicating; to a point he couldn't explain. He didn't fear for her safety. No, this was much more serious. He feared that she would never return home. In his eyes the fear survived on an unfailing believe, not on chance. Letting fear take a hold of him in such a way, letting it take control of him, was something he rarely did.

"Why do you think something will happen to me?" Mac decided to ask this question instead of stating the normal reassurance, 'of course I won't get hurt'. Clearly Harm was sure she would die.

"It's Iraq, Mac." The explanation was enough for Harm, but not Mac.

"No," Mac began, moving to him again, this time grabbing his arms forcibly, making him face her. "Harm, you and I have been in dangerous places before. We've had every reason to be worried before, even when we've been in a relationship." The last few words came off in a whisper, a hush, perhaps to emphasize her point, perhaps not. "This is different. What is going on with you?"

He sighed, looking down at the floor, refusing to meet her eyes. Could he hide it any further? Was it time now? So long did he deal with this alone. So long did he hide his emotions, his stress. So long had he lied to Mac. _So long ..._

Again silence took over as Harm moved out of her hold to the front couch now. He sat down carefully, acting like one wrong move would end everything they worked so hard to build. So afraid was he that the earth would crash down upon them, his dream taking over every waking moment, the end to everything that mattered to him. Convinced he needed to deal with it alone, now he wasn't so sure. Pushing Mac away so strongly now felt wrong, ignorant, even dreadful. Did he really think he could face this alone?

In response he felt a hand grasp his own lovingly, the strength in the touch restoring all that he had lost in the prior month. His eyes drifted upward to the face that promised him everything he had ever wanted. The dark brown eyes matched his own, were finally given the key to the dark places of his soul. Now he wasn't afraid. Now he felt the only way they could survive this difficult episode of their lives was as one.

Why did he push her away?

_Why?_

In the darkness of the night the dream that overshadowed his features, his soul, his heart was finally revealed to the only person that could help him. Yet the person listening was also the one in danger. And in that moment, as Harm explained his dreams, his fear, his month of hiding, all Mac could do was squeeze his hand tighter. All she could do was ensure him everything would be fine; she would be fine. She would be home in a week. All she could do was hold him.

All she could do ... was hope.

**Mac's apartment**

**Georgetown**

**0530 EST**

The first sensation that awoke Mac was warmth. Opening her eyes slowly, soon she began to remember what happened the night before. Once Harm told her of his dreams, she comforted him for quite some time. Never before had she seen him so utterly exhausted, so weary from his time in dealing with the dreams. He told her of that day, of the dreams appearing to him for the first time while he was awake. He told her of his rush to the bathroom, the entire month culminating to a point where he could no longer deal with it alone. He told her of his tears. For her.

Feeling his strong arms around her now, his body fast against hers from behind, she remembered their goodbye. Since she needed to leave so early in the morning, Mac couldn't promise anytime together the next day. To say these past few weeks took a toll on both of them was an understatement. Days and nights spent alone, hours and hours diving into work, visions upon visions of the other not returning. That was why Mac didn't understand Harm's difficulty in handling her departure. Sure, it was Iraq. But still ... Yet once he told her everything, his dreams, his sleepless nights, suddenly everything made sense. At first aggravated that Harm didn't tell her immediately after he was suffering from the dreams, soon she could no longer be angry. Only because her own worry rose quickly with his declaration did she back away.

_But still ..._

_It was only a week._

Harm's breath tickled the back of Mac's neck, a rhythmic peace that she felt with no other man in her life. Tonight a huge step was taken, one in which reassured her of their decisions. Soon they would have everything they wanted, this current lapse merely a stepping stone to something much bigger, a promise of something much more fulfilling. What was the saying? It must get worse before it gets better? Maybe. Perhaps that was what Mac needed to hold onto now, the knowledge that soon everything would turn out exactly how she planned. But has anything done so thus far in her life?

Glancing to the digital clock display on her nightstand, Mac knew it was time to leave. She had stayed in his arms as long as she could allow, enjoying his presence, revitalizing her soul by linking with his; something she missed beyond any understanding. Not having him with her, constantly worrying about him, always wondering if he was fine, if he would make it home, if he would survive to make their dreams come true had quickly filled her heart with a steadfast melancholy. When the smoke cleared and all had come back to normal, above everything else, above the house, the life ...

All she wanted was _him_.

_Harmon Rabb, Jr._

To call him her husband. That's what she wanted.

_Family._

Turning her head slightly, Mac kissed him lightly on the cheek, a kiss soft and sweet. His smell overwhelmed her, that of fresh soap and Old Spice aftershave, and something distinctly Harm and no one else. Caressing his cheek with her hand, light stubble brushing across her fingertips, still she saw the anxiety permeate through his distinct features. All night they lie in each other's arms, all night did they take and give. All night did they refilled their need for the other, to help them survive the next week without each other. To help each other survive the dream.

As Mac pulled away from Harm, trying desperately to not wake him, her eyes taking in his sleeping form one more time before she left, she knew then she would fight through whatever she needed to get back to him. Because she loved him. Because he needed her.

Because she needed him.

In twenty minutes she was gone.

**Airfield**

**Andrews Air Force Base**

**0800 EST**

"Are you ready, Colonel?" the Lieutenant asked, causing Mac to break away from her thoughts, her mind and eyes looking back astray to the base behind her. A week, she reminded herself again. A _week_. She could do this. Being away from Harm, though quite difficult, became something she simply survived and coped with. Missing him became apart of who she was, apart of her daily routine, something she worked to put in the back of her mind. Working on such a high profile case would urge her to cope in the same manner.

Smiling to the Lieutenant, standing a bit away from the plane that was taking many others, including herself, to Iraq, she held on tightly to her helmet. Soon she would be on her way, knowing full well all that she would miss. The previous night left her many moments, many sensations that would make her lay awake at night in waiting for the return home. Then, as she was being escorted across the airfield, did she remember Harm's kisses, to her neck, her shoulders, her breast, and her hushed whimper when they finally fulfilled the lost fantasies of an entire week of loneliness. Why, oh why, did Harm like to do this to her, she mused. Make her a pool of incomprehension, barely able to function on the eve of a big case.

Suddenly Mac felt a hand behind her, urging her to turn around. In a second she felt lips on hers, dripped in passion and need. Surprise was hardly the word, though not with the person but with the action. She knew exactly _who_ was kissing her, but _why_, in front of an entire Air Force Base full of people, was the question throbbing at the front of her mind. Just as suddenly, the kiss stopped, though the closeness did not as Harm pulled her to him, his hands to her face, his forehead to hers.

No words could comprehend his actions, no words could explain why he had displayed such a scene in front of an audience they were desperately trying to stay away from. After months of being careful, after weeks of holding back their instances and urgencies, in a second all of it was gone. Or seemed to be, anyway. The mask had been lifted, their relationship revealed in a second of weakness. Or, perhaps, a second of clarity.

"I love you," Harm whispered, emotions taking hold of both. The night before eased his problem, sure, but it did not ease his worry. Nothing would ease his worry. Only when she was in his arms, away from the dangerous, war tone area of Iraq. Even better, when the dream went away for good. Away from his thoughts. In that moment, Harm didn't care who saw. He didn't care that he may get reported, or that rumors would spread. He didn't care how this may change things, or how his life at JAG may be altered forever. That was so melodramatic right now compared to what was really important, what really mattered.

Mac reached up and caressed his face, loving the feel of his body to hers, wanting desperately to forget all that awaited her. The shock of Harm's actions didn't dull her need, only heightening it. The romance was thick now as the wind whipped through the air, the clouds warning of the storm to come. Mac couldn't believe she was getting caught up in Harm's fears and worries, rational thought quickly returning. "I love you, too. But I'll be home in a week. I promise." Her whispers tried to be confident, unwavering.

Then why did her voice shake?

She scolded herself for letting Harm's worries invade her own.

Harm took her hands in his, his eyes suddenly becoming serious, tears wetting his cheeks. He didn't come to say goodbye. No, he did not. Kissing her hand, he whispered, the wind almost grabbing his words like they never existed, "Marry me."

The words came in a heartbeat, in a time Harm thought of often but never decided upon. They came when he most needed her, when he could think of nothing but her. They came as a promise for what was to come, despite everything, despite the dreams, the suffering, the fear that now subsided to a confidence that she had given him. His dreams were dreams. They did nothing but aggravate what was real and true. His future with Mac was real. If anything, he wanted to make that promise, before Iraq. Before there was a chance of some tragedy, some prophecy driven dream to take away all that mattered to him.

However, Mac quickly broke away, the shock flushing her cheeks a deep red. Harm could barely gauge her feelings right now, the engine of the plane distracting him, the wind making him dizzy. All he wanted was the answer he had waited for since he saw Sarah in the rose garden, her luminous glow among the red petals creating a picture in his mind he would never forget. Yet the uncertainty invading her eyes quickly dumped a weight into his stomach.

Kissing him on the cheek, Mac quickly backed away, her hands releasing his, allowing them to fall aimlessly to his side as he watched her leave. "I love you, Harm. I'll see you when I return."

In a second, she was gone.

Harm watched her go, confusion overflowing his wounded heart. Did he hear right? Did he really ask this question? In moments, setting his hands on his hips, he watched her climb into the plane, not looking back. His lips a straight line, no emotion could display what his was feeling. Not anger. Not hate. Maybe confusion. His eyes turned from an aimless view of the base to the plane now lifting off, him a safe distance away. Soon a face appeared in a window, his soul taken in those eyes, everything he was leaving him.

It was then the dream came, making him momentarily forget Mac's rejection. Again, it came. The images flashed across his eyes, Mac's face now in the plane window falling into the scene of the fire, the gunshots, the man, his screams. The night before he was reassured by strength, by confidence. By odds. Now his fears took hold again, the prophecy meant to come true. Maybe he overreacted; maybe he drew Mac into his despair. Maybe he should know better, only a week would she be gone.

_Maybe he should prepare for the worse. _

... _**More to Come ... **_

_**Reviews Welcome!!!**_


	8. Hope

**_TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here_**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG.

**Author's Note:** After hearing once again the controversy concerning DPB and his yearly comment to the H/M shipper ... though intended to be as a joke, but still, it hurts ... it gives JAG fan fiction writers such as myself even more reason to continue writing, to keep the chance of a Harm and Mac happy ending alive. And with this thinking, I hope every JAG fan will stay positive as the season begins. It's the only way to wade through another season, hoping desperately it will not be anything like the last. I'll tell you this muchâ€ if DPB doesn't put Harm and Mac together at the end, he won't be able to pay people to get JAG on DVD. We fans still have some leverage â€ ;-). Finally I've finished this section. Took some time, but it happened. Thanks to everyone for their reviews and support!!

**_Chapter Title: Hope_**

**Garage**

**North of Union Station**

**Two Days Later**

**2000 EST**

Two days. Harm sighed to himself, thinking of that statistic. It had been two days since he last saw Mac, staring at her plane, at her face in the window, as she flew off and left him behind. Heartbroken. She has always loved him, and still does. He knows that, and would never question it, despite what happened. Love would not be a reason she would reject him. Asking her to marry him seemed almost like a formality, in some respect, because both figured they would eventually take that important step in the near future. It was just a matter of time. So often did they talk about â€ talk about their future, the life they wanted. Together. He wanted to secure that connection before she left in the small chance that something horrible might happen. But she said â€ _no_.

Well, not '_no'_, really. More like ... yeah, I still have to think about it ... but I love you.

Sheesh.

Harm sighed again, realizing he was a loser. Here he stood, working on Mac's car as she asked him to do days before, as if nothing happened. Well, of course he still loved Mac, would always love her. And she didn't say no, he reminded himself again ... she didn't really _reject _him, even though it felt that way. But oddly enough, Harm felt as if he was wrapped around her little finger right now by doing her a favor, one in which he didn't think twice of doing or not doing. Of course he would do it. She was _Mac_.

Opening the hood to her red corvette, a model similar but not quite like his own, he quickly became accustomed to her car and how it worked. A week ago she mentioned she heard a 'clink', or maybe more like a 'clang'. The more she talked about it, the more the sound changed from one form to another. Eventually she decided on a 'thud', but Harm found it an odd sound to hear in a car. Either way, he promised to look into it. Their rough schedules, however, gave neither of them time to speak of the car again. Mac continued to drive it with no problem, and since he'd been home, only mentioned it once. Now with her off in Iraq, Harm felt the opportunity arise to take a look at it.

With Mac gone, Harm felt it necessary to sleep in his own apartment in the rare chance someone might catch him going into Mac's apartment when she wasn't around. So here he was, in the small garage he rented below his apartment to hold his own corvette, now working on Mac's. His corvette sat outside in the cold, and he mused at the irony. Stepping back from the car, he glanced at himself, seeing a man wearing faded, old jeans and a T-shirt already stained with grease. The essential wardrobe for a job so dirty, he concluded. His apartment was not much better; clothes strewn around, food and dirty dishes all throughout his kitchen, a pizza box on the floor surrounded by magazines, and his bed unmade. Needless to say, with Mac gone, Harm didn't have much time, nor much desire, to clean up after himself. He tended to be this way when he was worried about her. If Mac saw him she would react in one of two ways; either get on his back for being so dirty, especially being a Marine, or, see him in his faded jeans and greased T-shirt, and lead him into the bedroom. Then make him clean everything up.

Smiling to himself, he buried his head under the hood again, thinking of such a confrontation lightheartedly, not realizing someone was walking up behind him.

"Ah, you're in here," called the voice, ultimately causing Harm to jerk quickly out from underneath the hood, though not before he hit his head.

Crying out slightly, he turned, rubbing his head, seeing two images of Sturgis before he saw one. He should've guessed. "Hey, buddy," he said groggily, seeing his friend smirking back at him.

"You seem jumpy," Sturgis observed with a laugh, walking a little closer to him, arms folded across his chest.

"Not jumpy," Harm insisted, his head switching from a searing pain to a steady throb. "Just surprised to see you here."

Sturgis shrugged. "Came by to see how you were doing." After what Sturgis has heard recently, and with Colonel Mackenzie stationed in Iraq at the moment, he had a feeling Harm might need a friend right now. Whether the rumors he heard were true concerning the state of Harm's relationship with Mac, it didn't matter really. Above all, Harm and Mac have always had a close, personal, and intimate friendship. Sturgis expected Harm to react in such a way to Mac's new case, acting closed off and distant during the past few days at JAG. Though he wanted to comfort Harm, he also wanted to discover his real problems, those that started before Mac went to Iraq, only gaining momentum with her untimely departure.

"Thanks, but I'm fine," Harm stressed quietly, bending down to grab a tool from the toolbox on the floor before burying himself under the hood. Even though Harm felt a sudden urge to tell Sturgis everything, from his 6-month relationship with Mac suddenly gone sour, to his frightful dreams of her death, he thought better of it. Not knowing the stakes yet, never forgetting the delicate nature of his current problems, there was no need to risk anything.

Sturgis walked up to Harm, glancing at the engine of the car, stating quietly, "You've had a rough week, I suspect."

Harm shrugged it off, calling from underneath the hood, his voice slightly strained as he tinkered with the engine, "Nothing I can't handle."

"Still " Sturgis began, unable to finish as Harm reappeared before him, rubbing his hands with a grease cloth.

"It's nothing. I admit, I'm worried about Mac, but not much I can do about that," Harm said lightly, slightly short of breath with his work, moving around Sturgis to the other side of the garage.

Sturgis smirked, watching him walk away, having no difficulty seeing beneath Harm's disguise. "So you're fixing Mac's car?" he chided, truthfully never remembering him doing such a task for Colonel Mackenzie. Not that he couldn't help her by doing this, especially when she was off serving in Iraq for a short period. However, the task felt odd, like ... more than just a favor. He couldn't put his finger on what triggered his suspicions; only able to conclude Harm was hiding something here.

Harm grabbed a tool from a table behind Sturgis, then moved back to the hood. "I'm fixing Mac's car because she asked me to do it." The statement was true, even though he left out the real reason why he was performing the task; because he loved her.

Sturgis just nodded. "Okay." He decided to accept that explanation for now, thinking it best to move onto other subjects. "So why did you act out in court? It's not like you."

Harm sighed, suddenly irritated at having to combat this question for the hundredth time. Not only did Mac ask him about it before she left, but also the Admiral, Bud, and Coates didn't hesitate to inquire. Now with Sturgis asking of it, he barely had the energy to respond without seeming annoyed. "Does it really matter?"

"I think it does. Especially when, I believe, the cause of it might have something to do with the owner of this particular car," Sturgis commented knowingly, walking over to the driver's side and settling his hands on the edge of the door to gaze inside. Clean. Very clean inside. He smirked, realizing he expected nothing less from Colonel Mackenzie.

"Well, I think you're imagining things," Harm insisted with amusement, bending underneath the hood again.

"Maybe."

Harm stepped out again, suddenly interested in Sturgis' unwavering mood. His friend always acted as if he knew he was right, even if he might be proven wrong later. At the moment, Harm couldn't get past how sure Sturgis seemed to be ... even more than usual, a characteristic currently reaching new levels of annoyance. Of course, with Harm acting out in court, and now rumors spreading quickly as to the type of relationship he had with Mac because of his actions at Andrews, Sturgis could do nothing else but speculate the obvious. And right now his friend was looking for more evidence for his hypothesis.

"Why are you so sure?"

Sturgis shrugged again, not quite ready to show his hand too soon. He needed to be vague, only to see Harm's reaction. "Well, I am a lawyer. And with the evidence I've seen and now what I've heard"

Harm leaned against the car, arms crossed, reassuring, "Whatever you heard, it isn't true."

"Maybe not," Sturgis conceded, but quickly added, "But the Colonel was kissing someone." He then smirked, his eyes giving away exactly how much he knew concerning Harm's current problems. Perhaps Sturgis shouldn't believe rumors, but considering his friend's behavior recently, the tendency was to assume a woman. Whenever Harm acted unusually quiet with him, it meant he was spending time with someone special, someone listening to all of his problems. And since Harm kept quiet about his love life recently, which he usually disclosed eventually to Sturgis as a point of reference, there was reason to speculate something unusual was happening. Catching Harm working on Mac's car seemed to seal the deal.

Harm huffed a little, walking back towards the hood. "And you think you know?

"I do know," Sturgis joked, moving up to Harm again. "Seriously, though ... I'm talking to you as a friend, not as a fellow JAG officer. You can talk to me if you need to." Sturgis wanted to make this clear, because his intentions were not to scare Harm away. In fact, he wanted completely the opposite.

Harm considered this as he stared at Sturgis, the urge to disclose to him all that he has been through recently quickly boiling to the surface once again. Missing Mac was hard enough, but worrying about her night and day, the inability to sleep, and the erosion of his nerves gave him reason to give Sturgis access, if only to share it with someone he trusted. Harm and Mac chose to keep their relationship quiet for the simple reason of not wanting to chance getting caught, forced to transfer, or, worse yet, court-martialed. Neither wanted that, of course, instead deciding it best to choose their fate when they couldn't help it any further. Now, having to deal with Mac's time in Iraq alone, Harm knew he would appreciate a friend to talk to. He knew, thinking further, he needed a friend considering Mac's response to his proposal of marriage. Seriously, how does a man deal with that? Especially when he truly believed she would answer 'yes'?

"Okay," Harm whispered, giving in. "I'm talking to Sturgis Turner, my friend?"

Sturgis nodded. "Of course."

Harm moved from the hood to lean against the car next to Sturgis. Bowing his head slightly, he thought carefully on how to begin. 'Oh yeah, in case you didn't notice, Mac and I have been going out for 6 months.' He began to smirk at the possibility, sensing that even though Sturgis may have guessed his relationship with Mac, he would be quite surprised as to how long it's been in existence. No one would believe it, probably. Many nights did they laugh at how close the relationship came to being revealed way too soon. When they first began to spend time together, it was difficult for Harm to get through the day without thinking of Mac. Not just thinking of her, dreaming of her. Dreaming of the night before, of the nights to come. People should certainly catch those glances of desire, of the seconds stolen during the day in the coffee room, yet no one seemed to notice their flushed faces or the endless stares. His eyes would lose themselves in her image; unable to forget the passion they shared at night. Smiling, he had to admit, they were _hot _at the beginning. As time passed, eventually they dealt with it much better, and not having as many _hot _nights, but more intimate nights. Like, for instance, spending the night outside on the beach with a picnic, lying on blankets, and staring up at the endless glimmer of silvery stars and the white, full moon casting a shadow across the still, peaceful waves.

Harm always remembered that night as the moment he learned the most about Mac. That's how good he and Mac were, Harm mused to himself. That's how right they were for each other.

Finally glancing up, but not at Sturgis, Harm whispered, "The scene at Andrews was real. I was saying goodbye to Colonel Mackenzie ... my girlfriend." Though he hated the word, 'girlfriend', because it sounded so juvenile, as a way to describe his relationship with Mac, it was the only description that seemed appropriate. If the planets had aligned correctly for him, he may have had the chance to say fiancé. Obviously, he thought with a bitter edge, Mac didn't want it right now.

Sturgis only smirked, hearing the information as evidence to support his theories. Now everything fell perfectly into place. "So that's why you've been so quiet lately?"

Harm shrugged. "I guess so. Mac and I started the relationship six months ago".

"Six months?" Sturgis quickly interrupted, needing clarification to what he just heard. He assumed the relationship existed for the past few weeks, or even a month considering Harm's strange mood lately. _Six months?_

Harm laughed a little, happy to have caught Sturgis off guard. "Yeah." Looking away from his friend again, his eyes settling on the table, the grim look of the walls, and feeling a draft coming in from the closed door at the front, his senses quickly brought him back to what was really being discussed here. Not just his friend finally catching on to the secretive relationship Harm has had with Mac, but also everything that came with it. The dreams, the proposal

Their future.

This wasn't just any relationship for Harm.

"We kept it quiet," Harm began, the far off look in his eyes shadowing his features, his mind quickly filling with Sarah's face. He wondered then what she might be doing right now, agonizing over the missed calls during the past few days; the missed opportunities to talk because of their busy schedules. Not only hasn't he seen Mac in two days, but he also hasn't talked to her, either. Mac tried to call him a few times, trying to catch him in his office, or at night. Each time he was either out, in court, or chose not to answer the phone, unwilling to cross that bridge at the moment. In a way, he wanted that week alone, away from Mac, away from his friends even. To think through everything that has happened. To pray by himself, to whomever might be listening, to ensure Mac's safety.

Sturgis nodded. "Because of Krennick."

"Krennick. And our friends." Harm paused a second and moved away from the car towards the table. He changed the tool in his hand with another lying out on the table, absently thinking of his current task, absently thinking of the circumstances behind Mac's and his decisions over the past six months. All seemed small, meaning nothing, compared to everything happening at the moment. He never even considered this moment in time, what would happen if Mac were ever sent to Iraq. What would happen if he ever asked Mac to marry him and she didn't say _yes_. The thought such a gross weight at the bottom of his stomach, eating away like a virus, harvesting every emotion that was left inside of him.

Harm's lips curled up into a small smile, thinking of the first initial months of his relationship with Mac. "At first we wanted the privacy. We were so nervous about everything, and we didn't want to be the center of attention at JAG or with our friends. Once we got used to each other â€ eventually it became a game, seeing how long we could go without saying anything to anyone. Once we moved in together, we were even more determined ... not just with keeping the secret, but with each other." He then turned around and faced Sturgis, who still stood quietly, letting Harm set the tone of the conversation. "At Andrews I asked her to marry me."

Sturgis' eyes quickly became wider, at first taken aback by Harm's confession, but then sensing the truth. He wanted to ask of Mac's answer, yet deep in his heart he new. Harm's features didn't shout of happiness, nor did his expression change from the deep sadness capturing him now. If the answer was yes, Sturgis would hate to see Harm's expression if the answer was no. He almost spilled this joke, to lighten the moment, but decided against it. This was Harm's moment, his time, his conversation, his declaration. Sturgis' role was simple; listen.

Harm laughed easily, lightening the moment for himself, needing to break the melancholy atmosphere. "I'm still waiting for answer," he joked, though the words strained with intensity. Walking away from the table to the hood once again, looking down at the complicated engine, the wires, and the initial heart of the car, he sensed his own heart feeling just as screwy. He rubbed his hand over his mouth, his mind traveling quickly through the events of the past few weeks. As quickly as his need to tell Sturgis about the dream, the need left just as quickly. Deep down, Harm knew revealing that would go too far. It was something he and Mac needed to deal with together, among other things.

_A week._

_He needed to wait. _

However, Sturgis' question quickly broke his train of thought. "Do you love her?"

Harm's face appeared from under the hood, gazing at his friend, as if considering. Yet there was nothing to think about, nothing that would help or hinder his current feelings.

He loved her. With all of his heart.

He swallowed, the emotion catching in his throat, realizing at that moment he would be telling someone other than Mac of his love for her. There would be no faltering, however, as he whispered simply, and with great emotion, "Yes."

Sturgis nodded as he moved closer to him, clearly indicating the importance of his next few words. It needed to come from him, his long time friend. "As your JAG lawyer, Harm, I must inform you that if you decide to go through with this with Mac, that most likely one of you will be transferred, if Krennick is in a charity giving mood the day you tell her. Your career might suffer some, if you're not court martialed."

"And as my friend?" Harm asked, shoving Sturgis' information completely out of his mind right now. The consequences of his actions couldn't be an issue right now, only adding to the mounting stress.

"As your friend," Sturgis began, "Go for it. Do whatever you have to do to get her to say yes."

Harm smiled then, perhaps the first time in two days. He thought of nothing else except giving all he had to convince Mac of his devotion, of his love, of his need for her. Not that she didn't know, but to reassure her. Maybe the mere shock caused her to back away, or perhaps his insistence. Maybe she needed time to think. So many reasons, yet none of that scared Harm. Though he felt hurt, he knew couldn't let that stop him.

Nothing would stop him.

"Thanks. I think I'll listen to my friend," Harm responded matter-of-factly, eliciting a smile from Sturgis.

"Good. I'll tell him that."

Harm laughed openly now, slapping his hand on Sturgis' shoulder. "Thanks, buddy." In all honesty, Sturgis' presence lightened his mood quite a bit, making him see his situation with Mac as an opportunity rather than a disappointment.

"On that note, I think I better go," Sturgis replied, moving behind Harm towards the door.

Harm called from behind, "See ya tomorrow."

Sturgis waved his hand as he opened the door and walked out. The door closed behind him.

Once again the dream began to reach to the front of his mind, automatically blocking out everything else. Concentrating on Mac's answer, or lack thereof, to his proposal had clouded his mind from the true concern. If Mac made it back from Iraq, they could talk further. If Mac made it back from Iraq, she could tell him why she chose to stall on her answer ... a decision he felt they already made concerning their future. If Mac made it back from Iraq, the dream would be gone.

If Mac made it back from Iraq, they could start their future.

_If Mac made it back from Iraq ..._

Harm sighed, feeling an overwhelming urge to talk to her now, to hold her, to feel safe with her. The imminent danger was not his broken heart or even the course their relationship was on.

In the morning he would call her.

**JAG Headquarters**

**Falls Church, VA**

**1000 EST – The Next Day**

Admiral Krennick was steamed. That, of course, would be an understatement, as Coates watched her boss' foul mood only turn worse. If the mounting cases towering on her desk weren't enough, Krennick would only grow worse as the morning aged into afternoon. Nervously glancing to the clock high on the wall, Coates could only cower a bit into herself, into her work, and hope to God that Krennick wouldn't notice her presence. The source of her anger today remained with two certain officers. A few minutes late would be bad enough, but now both Rabb and Turner remained missing as a full hour finally came and went.

"Coates!" came a shrill voice, causing the young Petty Officer to jump straight out of her seat and quickly into the Admiral's office. _So much for hiding_.

"Yes, ma'am?" Coates asked, unwilling to let her own failing nerves show.

Krennick motioned to the clock hanging in her office. "What time is it?"

Coates quickly answered, "1005, ma'am."

A smile almost crept across Krennick's face, though Coates quickly pushed the observation aside. Smiles and Krennick did not go hand in hand. Maybe a smirk, Krennick knowing she would have a dozen reasons to chew out Rabb when he finally decided to show his face in the bullpen. Rabb usually had to endure such a confrontation at least once a week.

_I'm glad I'm not Commander Rabb, _Coates thought.

"No Rabb?" Krennick asked bitterly. The younger officer immediately noticed the Admiral mentioned nothing of Commander Turner. Obviously her CO intended on busting Rabb, and letting Turner get away with it today, especially since the latter Commander rarely arrived late.

Coates could only guess why Krennick decided to be more angry than usual today. Certainly she intended taking that time to yell at Rabb, but today she seemed extra aggravated. Right, Coates corrected herself. Not angry. Aggravated. There was some difference. "No Rabb," she confirmed quietly.

Krennick looked down at a report in her hand, suddenly deciding to talk no further of the subject, only to say, "Make sure he comes to see me as soon as he arrives."

Coates nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I've been watching for him." Why she felt a need to add on that extra tidbit of information, Coates wouldn't know. If anything, she hoped the conversation ended as soon as possible.

"Dismissed." Apparently, Krennick felt the same way, giving no indication of hearing the Petty Officer's reassurances.

Saluting, Coates bolted quickly, though still trying to keep up the image of a mature, Navy yeoman. Her haste would reveal nothing, especially in the light of her very understanding fellow officers. Everyone escaped Krennick's office with the same urgency, which eventually led to a competition of how fast people could escape the Admiral's clutches. Smirking at the thought, only able to imagine a raven circling around its prey, talons drawn, Coates could hardly keep from smiling as she stepped into the bullpen. Again she checked Rabb's office, and again she saw only darkness. The JAG office felt extremely lifeless with both Rabb _and _Mackenzie missing. Lately at least one of them graced the offices while the other one took care of a case on a carrier or on a base. Krennick neglected to team them up on a case for sometime now, no one comprehending any reason why. However, rumors suggested the Admiral might be slightly jealous pertaining to the attention Rabb often gave Mackenzie, especially recently. The two were inseparable.

Just about ready to give up hope that Rabb or Turner would save her from Krennick's current mood, Coates's eyes were suddenly attracted to an office assuming life across the way. Commander Turner had finally arrived.

Walking to the other side of the bullpen, Coates assumed a quiet position at Commander Turner's door as soon as she realized he was on the phone. _Talking about a case,_ Coates thought. _He was in for a treat with Krennick._

Suddenly hearing her name, breaking her thoughts, she saw the Commander finally off the phone and waiting for an answer to a question he had just asked. "Sorry, sir, what did you ask?"

Turner smirked and repeated with amusement, "What did you want, Petty Officer?"

Coates didn't think he would be laughing when he heard the Admiral has been looking for him all morning. "Admiral Krennick wants you in her office. ASAP. She also has been asking about Commander Rabb "

"He's not in yet?" Turner asked, quickly becoming a bit concerned. If anything, he thought Harm felt much better after the talk they shared the previous night. A bridge seemed crossed, a mountain overcome once Harm explained his current situation. His mood seemed lighter by the end of the conversation, certainly taking on a different perspective the minute he disclosed his problems with Mac. _Though, they've gotten pretty far, _Sturgis thought, _without outside intervention._ He still couldn't let the fact sink in ... _six months_. Unbelievable.

"No, sir," Coates simply stated.

Turner walked around his desk to the front. "Did you call his cell?"

"And his home, as well. No answer at either, sir."

Immediately Sturgis considered calling Colonel Mackenzie's apartment, aware now that Harm could certainly be found there. Especially if he didn't want to be found.

_Yet, even if I called, _Sturgis concluded, _Harm wouldn't answer the phone. He wouldn't chance it. _

Grabbing his jacket, Sturgis couldn't explain his urgency to ensure Harm's safety. Perhaps a sixth sense, or having helped him the night before heightening his personal need to be as much a friend to Harm as he could be. Especially now. Why his heart began to pound in nervous anticipation, Sturgis had no explanation. Yet something flowed through his veins, a feeling of loss or ... perhaps an unavoidable fear that seemed to have no origin. The likely problem was Harm just feeling sorry for himself, missing Mac, unwilling to face JAG today. He would need a simple cheering up, one that would require Sturgis to visit _after _JAG hours; take him out for a beer, watch a ballgame or something.

So why was he rushing to his aid now? What was driving him?

"Commander--?"

Turner walked out of his office, pushing Coates along with him so he could lock his office door. "I realized, Petty Officer, that I need to be in court in an hour and I promised my client we would meet." Gazing quickly to his hands, Turner smiled at his innate intuition. He was holding his briefcase. Good, it looked believable.

Coates, however, protested, "But Krennick ..."

Turner only smiled as he continued to walk away. "Have a good day, Petty Officer."

Coates sighed, watching Turner escape Krennick's wrath. However, that meant the wrath would fall squarely on her shoulders. Turning on her heel, Coates grimaced as she proceeded to her office, fully aware of what was to come. _Brave_, Coates thought. _I've earned about a dozen Navy Crosses this morning. _

**Commander Turner's car **

**En route to Commander Rabb's apartment, North or Union Station**

**1100 EST**

_No one at Colonel Mackenzie's apartment, _Sturgis grimaced. He knocked for a good ten minutes at her door and received no reply. In fact, he quickly sensed no one had been at her apartment since she left. Against his own judgment, he called while standing outside of Mac's home, hoping Harm might have a sudden lapse of memory and think he was in his own apartment. Sometimes people instinctively performed menial tasks, such as answering the phone even if it may not be their own. However, no answer.

Gazing out through his windshield now at the busy streets of Washington, Sturgis quickly questioned his own motives. Maybe he was just trying to be a good friend, the most likely reason for his sudden actions. Yet something much more persistent pulled at his gut, again merely considering it a sixth sense of sorts. Something felt out of place. Not that Harm couldn't be late. In fact, especially since going out with Mac, he mused, Harm tended to be late every now and again. Of course, he saw this in hindsight. However, Mac was gone for the moment. And whether Harm suddenly suffered from a nervous breakdown because he missed her so much, or he simply was playing hooky, Sturgis didn't know. He only sensed the unlikelihood of the those options considering, above all, how well Harm was dealing with Mac's time in Iraq. Sure, he missed her dearly. Sure, he may be a bit erratic at the moment. But

_He had yet missed a day of work this week. He acted no different and his intentions on coming to work the next day were quite clear._

That seemed to be his main reasoning. Harm rarely allowed events and moments like this to completely disable him from doing his duty. Only in dire circumstances did he skip his assignments at JAG. Very dire.

_He could be taking a personal day, deciding to take his mind off of Mac, _Sturgis reminded himself. Perhaps he thought that was best.

Suddenly Harm's apartment came into view, Sturgis quickly parking the car, unable to miss seeing a familiar red corvette parked in front of him. _Maybe he took Mac's car out for a drive?_

Sighing, Sturgis hastily walked to the garage and pulled the door open slightly, only to see Colonel Mackenzie's car exactly where it was the night before. The hood was down, the space was clean. _Okay, so he _**has** _to be here, right?_

The thought comforted Sturgis's concerns only for a split second but not much more. Harm may have had JAG-related errands to run, which Sturgis had originally suspected. Yet both cars had not been moved. He may have possibly taken a cab, but what's the point of doing that? Especially when he had two cars, one in which he could have taken for a test drive to ensure his tinkering helped the problem.

Nothing made sense.

Walking into Harm's building and into the elevator, Sturgis couldn't help but think the worse may have occurred here. The definition of 'worse' was still quite a mystery at the moment, though he would prefer not to know. _In all likelihood_, Sturgis thought once again, _he just isn't up to going to work today. After everything—the proposal, Mac in Iraq--he would need the break. _Pushing that conclusion through his mind again and again, he stepped up out of the elevator and to Harm's front door.

Immediately Sturgis felt eerie, the silence of the hallway suffocating him. He strangely smelled eggs, maybe coffee coming from the apartment before him, possibly indicating life on the other side. The pressure on Sturgis' heart released quite a bit, finally able to breathe deeply since he began the search for Harm. Though the strange feeling didn't leave him, Sturgis felt the tension relax as he stepped up to the door and knocked.

And he knocked again ... pause

And again.

Grimacing slightly, Sturgis put his ear to the door, listening for any other sign that Harm was home. Maybe he cooked breakfast a while ago and the smell was still intoxicating the hall? Hearing nothing on the other side rose Sturgis' suspicions once again, this fluctuating of nerves feeling much like riding a roller coaster. Right now he felt himself dropping down a steep hill, his stomach jumping into his throat, understandably afraid that the track below won't catch the weight of his fall. For some reason, he felt himself falling through.

Knocking again, this time Sturgis called out, "Harm? It's Sturgis."

Silence.

"Harm? Are you all right?"

No answer.

Sighing, Sturgis knew of one more tactic left in his bag of tricks. _I'll knock down the door,_ Sturgis decided. Perhaps the act was a bit hasty, especially considering the likely outcome of all of this ... Harm was fine, merely depressed. Still, thinking as a lawyer, as a military officer whose job it was to suspect danger, Sturgis knew this next act might be needed. Only as a precaution. Only to ensure that the likely conclusion was indeed true. Since Harm neglected to answer any of his phone calls, had not called or left a message that he would not be coming into the office—an expected course of action when taking a personal day—then assuming the worse was necessary. That meant he needed to break down the door, especially if there was an emergency, if Harm needed help right away.

Stepping back, Sturgis then jolted forward, using his shoulder to bust in the door. Immediately the door faltered underneath the force, and when Sturgis hit it through again, it could do nothing else but fall to the ground behind. Panting only slightly, his breath caught quickly in his throat, hardly able to believe the sight before him, the shock taking away all his senses. Chairs turned over, papers everywhere, furniture torn, the TV set smashed, picture frames cracked, and clothes thrown in all directions. Crinkling his eyes to immediate concern, he began moving through the horrible mess.

"Harm!" Sturgis shouted, quickly meddling through and around the obstacles, seeing only a trashed apartment. No Harm in sight. "Harm!"

Moving up the steps to Harm's bedroom, Sturgis only saw more of the same; the mattress turned over, lamps broken on the floor, and dresser drawers pulled out as if searched threw. Again and again Sturgis called and only the silence of the apartment answered him in return.

Adrenaline running through his veins, Sturgis hardly took a chance to fathom the consequences and circumstances behind the images before him. Something went terribly wrong here, and whatever it may be, Sturgis suddenly felt 'worse' had been defined. No sign of Harm was certainly the last outcome Sturgis expected at the end of this search, and moving back through the kitchen, he knew then the events around him crossed into the category of an official JAG case.

A missing JAG officer. His apartment trashed.

_None of this could be good._

Glancing to the kitchen space, Sturgis saw the source of the initial odors when he first arrived; burning eggs. Quickly he ran to the stove and turned the dial to off, immediately glad that he arrived in time to stop a potential stove fire. If nothing else, the evidence before him would give JAG a chance to find Harm.

Yet before he could fully let the events before him sink in, let the thoughts of finding Harm fill his heart and soul, his eyes caught something he didn't expect. His attention turned immediately to a note left on the island in the middle of the kitchen, the initial terror dropping to the pit of his stomach like a ten pound weight. Cursing himself for missing it coming in, Sturgis knew he ran on concern for his friend way before looking for possible evidence. Now the two missions were mixed.

Dreading what he would see, Sturgis stepped up to the counter, his eyes turning to shock before his mind could catch up—could fully understand or comprehend what the evidence in front of him suggested. He immediately thought of dazed expressions, sadness illuminating the halls of JAG, tears flowing freely in a dark place, the rain falling on already wet cheeks. In fact, all he could think of was Mac_. Poor Mac_.

The note read;

_Release them. Otherwise, more officers will be killed._

Next to the note was a picture of Harm, lying on the floor of this very apartment, a bullet through his chest. So gruesome the picture, so horrible did Harm look, Sturgis forced himself to back away, glancing to the suggested spot and seeing a pool of blood settled in the living room just beyond. Thinking through all of this seemed to take too much effort, Sturgis only able to stand and keep moving if he thought of everything around him as evidence.

He couldn't think of his friend right now.

If he did, he would lose it.

In fact, moving towards the spot of blood, Sturgis immediately flipped out his cell phone, angry with himself for not making the necessary calls sooner. Approaching the blood, he noticed then it seemed almost dry, almost as if these events happened a few hours ago or so. Grimacing further, his eyes and face displaying his true age, not just from years but also from experiences just like this one, he suddenly heard a voice on the other end of his call disturbing his dark thoughts.

"Petty Officer Coates," came the even voice.

Sturgis tried to stay calm and let on nothing in his voice save strength and courage. Someone needed to be grounded. "Call NCIS right now, send them to Commander Rabb's apartment."

"What? What happen-- ?" she began to ask.

Yet Sturgis didn't want to give her a chance to continue, stating sternly, "Just do it, Petty Officer. Please."

"Right away." The call then went dead.

Sturgis sighed and knew that taking out his frustrations on Coates was not the answer. Only then did he begin to fully understand the ramifications behind everything that happened here. Not only would everyone at JAG be angry and sad, but also Mattie's reaction, Harm's dear friend and teenager he took care of for so long. She would be crushed. Not to mention Mac â€ oh, Mac. Sturgis imagined anger when thinking of her, imagined her totally losing it, dedicating her life to finding and destroying those who did this to Harm.

_Mac._

As his mind journeyed through the people affected, the change this would have for so many people, once again his attention caught something across the room.

A blinking red light.

It was coming from the answering machine. Probably the million calls from Coates, indicating Krennick's annoyance with Harm's tardiness. Yet again, he felt an attraction to the machine, wondering if it might have some clue to who may have been here.

Walking briskly over to the phone on the kitchen counter, he wondered then whether he should mess with the evidence now with NCIS coming over.

However, he couldn't resist.

His lawyer and investigating instincts wouldn't allow it. Sighing once again, the weight becoming heavy with every second he stood at this crime scene, he pushed the button, waiting to hear Coates' voice.

The first few messages didn't surprise him, Coates' voice echoing through the quiet apartment, stressing Harm's need to appear at the JAG office as soon as possible. The voice he didn't expect came next, causing Sturgis' breath to catch in his throat again, this time from overwhelming sadness. This time with heartfelt sorrow. He should've expected this, should've realized this voice might show up in the middle of everything happening in this moment, in this time.

Mac's voice drained the blood from his face, his skin turning cold with despair.

With irony.

All he could do was listen;

"_Harm, it's Mac. I was hoping to catch you before you went to work. I know we keep missing each other—playing phone tag. Maybe we're trying to avoid each other. I don't know."_

Stopping for a single second, Sturgis sensed her voice becoming heavier, more emotional. He could tell immediately she was trying to say the right words, desperately trying to explain exactly how she felt. In that moment, he felt her pain, felt the pain existing between Harm and Mac. Why did he have to be in the middle of this? So in the middle?

"_All I do know is that we need to talk. I need to explain myself, why I reacted as I did when you ..." _

Another pause, an exhausted sigh.

"_We've talked about this a dozen times, what we want, and the future we want. I just didn't want to start it like this. I want to marry you, I really do. Believe me when I say that. And believe me when I say that if you asked me at any other time I would've said yes. Just not now. Not when you're being driven by the wrong emotions—not by love, but by fear."_

Sturgis suddenly felt as if he was eavesdropping on a personal conversation, sensing his need to erase this message once it finished. Not only so no one knew of Harm's relationship with Mac, especially when it had no affect on the case, but also to keep their feelings and conversations where it belonged; only between them. No one else needed to hear this.

"_Please don't be angry. I love you, Harm. I love you so much. And I miss you. Don't make me wait too long to hear your voice, Harmon Rabb," she joked. _

"_I love you."_

"_Bye."_

The message then went silent. Sturgis would keep to his promise, immediately hitting the delete button, giving no one else a chance to hear it. Not even Harm.

What caused his heart to ache was Mac's mood throughout the message. Heavy with emotion, yet light and hopeful that everything would turn out okay.

_Hope._

There was only hope left now.

Hope that with Harm's body missing, maybe the attackers messed up. Maybe there was a small chance that Harm was still alive. Though, if the picture was real, and if the blood on the floor was indeed Harm's, there wasn't much to hold onto.

Yet the chance remained.

The hope lit like a lonely candle in the darkness.

... **_More To Come ..._**

_**Reviews Welcome!!!**_


	9. Mountains and Valleys

**_TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here_**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG

**Author's Note: **Finally an update. I hope you all have enjoyed my story thus far. And may God Bless Us with a wonderful new JAG season. Reviews always welcome!!! Enjoy!

**_Chapter Title: Mountains and Valleys_**

**Marine Base**

**Outskirts of Iraq**

**1900 Iraqi time**

Corporal Sanchez leaned back in his chair, a little aggravated at the line of questioning coming from his lawyer. His lawyer was supposed to be on his side, right? Sighing slightly, he gazed down at his hands folded together in his lap, initially thinking of how to answer the question given. More accurately, he was searching for what his lawyer may want to hear. In all honesty, the more he spoke of the event, the more he convinced himself that he might have overreacted. Such an admission left a bitter taste in his mouth, hating himself for taking this to an embarrassing point for him and Captain Morris.

"I don't know. I'm not sure," he finally whispered, eliciting another tired sigh, looking over at the Colonel, cursing himself for noticing how beautiful she looked, even though she wore the same type of Marine camouflage garb common for such bases. He was a Corporal, many ranks below her, and unable to notice such things.

Colonel Mackenzie nodded slightly, gazing down at the files in front of her. Over the course of the past few days, investigating the case turned quickly into hearsay, a case that could not be won in court. Though she wanted the best for her client, Corporal Sanchez, Mac knew immediately the best-meant keeping him out of court considering the lack of the evidence concerning his claims. Though Sanchez was certainly shot at as he was walking around the outside of the base, and later Captain Morris admitted to have shot his weapon towards the general area in which the Corporal was walking, none of that circumstantial evidence mattered. Considering Morris' excellent service record, and the knowledge that the scare of locals intruding on the base was quite real, no one believed Morris' capability to shoot at one of his own on purpose. Morris claimed to have seen an intruder, with a gun, sneaking into the base. And everyone believed him.

In the end, Mac soon discovered the true reasons for Sanchez's actions; he hated his CO. Which, of course, was not a reason to blame him for something he didn't do.

_How did I get into this?_ Mac asked herself silently.

"Well, Corporal, I have to be honest here. I'm not sure how much I can help you. Your case just isn't strong enough to warrant a court-martial for Captain Morris," Mac explained, with some sympathy. Though not much. Personally, Mac felt Sanchez's actions were hardly that of a Marine, but of a spoiled, whining child who didn't receive the present he wanted for Christmas. Such Marines Mac had trouble making time for.

Sanchez shifted uneasily in his seat, the overwhelming heat making droplets of sweat form across his forehead. "So, ma'am, you're saying that's it?"

Mac shrugged. "Well, generally. Admiral Krennick requires a report from me, a recommendation as to whether there is enough evidence to go to trial. As merely the investigator of the case, above all else, I'll have to recommend no action be taken. However, I would suggest maybe talking to your CO, find out what really happened that night. You're all in a war zone here, and the last thing you need is to feel distrust throughout the base. I'm willing to act as a mediator between you and Captain Morris, if need be."

Sanchez looked away a bit, his mind whirling from the information given. He knew Colonel Mackenzie was probably right, and pursuing this case would only make situations worse in a time when Marines needed to be strong and work as a team. Yet to admit defeat, which seemed inevitable, wasn't like him. It would be quite difficult for him to do.

"Is that what you think should happen then?" Sanchez asked, finally looking to the Colonel for a reaction.

Mac smiled inwardly, sensing immediately that her time in Iraq was coming to an end. It had taken quite a few interviews and talks with her client and others to make it happen. She could almost feel the chill of the winter air in Washington, the Christmas lights probably shining brightly throughout town as she walked down the street at night, hand-in-hand with Harm. The smell of snow, cinnamon, and Harm's cologne quickly filled her nostrils.

She would be home soon.

And they could talk and really discuss everything that has happened. They loved each other too much not to. She didn't realize how desperately she longed to see him, to even talk to him.

Overall, Mac realized then this would be their first Christmas together.

_It'll all work out. Harm will understand, _Mac thought.

"I really think that is what you should do, Corporal." Mac's voice displayed confidence and didn't waver in the least. This decision was surely the right one.

Suddenly someone slipped through the huge tent that Mac had been using as her office and for interviews. Immediately she turned to see a Lance Corporal standing there. "Sorry to interrupt, ma'am, but Admiral Krennick requests to speak with you."

Mac immediately felt a pang of guilt, not wanting to leave her client at such a crucial time. They were finally getting somewhere, finally convincing him that he should drop the charges on a weak case. The Navy and Marines would keep their reputation untarnished, no one's career would be over, and life could generally go back to normal. Leaving right now was the last thing she wanted to do. "Can you tell the Admiral I'm extremely busy?" For some reason, Mac knew she might pay for brushing her CO off, but the overall outcome of this case warranted such a risk.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Admiral insisted that it was quite important," the Lance Corporal urged quietly. Obviously, his orders were to not leave this tent unless she was with him. His voice suggested as much.

_What could be so urgent that it couldn't wait? _Mac thought with anger. Though she felt some concern that something was indeed very wrong, the most likely reason for Krennick's insistence on speaking to her at once would be for a first hand report of the case. Or, better yet, tell Mac that she wouldn't be leaving Iraq anytime soon for God knows what reason.

_That's the last thing I want to hear_, Mac grimaced.

Looking to her client with regret, she asked quietly, "Would you like to wait here until I get back?"

"Actually, ma'am, I need to get back to my unit," Sanchez replied, standing up. "If that's okay."

Mac nodded, standing up as well. "Okay. Have you decided what you're going to do?" She didn't want to push too hard, yet she felt an agreement had secretly been reached.

Sanchez responded quietly, "I'm dropping the charges, ma'am." He then saluted, Mac doing so in return, and he quickly left. Mac felt a sense of goodness rush through her entire body, happy that the Corporal proved himself a man worthy to wear the uniform of a Marine. Such petty problems only hindered success and companionship so dear to a unit. Mac smiled to herself, the words "Unit, Core, God, Country" quickly filling her conscience, the unwritten code.

"Ma'am?" came the Lance Corporal's voice from behind, quickly breaking Mac's thoughts. Mac nodded and followed him out.

**Marine Base**

**Iraq**

**1920 Iraqi time**

As Mac walked beside the Lance Corporal across the base to the command center, where Admiral Krennick's call was waiting, she observed the small touches of Christmas on the huge tent structures. Red, green, and white lights glimmered in the dusk-like sky, tinsel stretched across entrances, and a holiday cheer distinctly characterized the moods of many officers they passed by. Though still two full weeks before Christmas, observing the holiday gave those who served here a chance to think of something else other than war, than killing, or being killed.

It gave them a chance to think of home.

In that moment, Mac could think of nothing else save Harm.

They entered the huge structure, the Lance Corporal creating a hurried pace down the hallway toward command headquarters. Whatever was in need of her attention, the Lance Corporal didn't want her to be late for it. Or perhaps Admiral Krennick stressed to him to have her back as soon as he could. And even though the Admiral would have no idea if he did this or not, the Lance Corporal probably assumed that someway, somehow, he would be in a lot trouble if he didn't obey his orders to the tee.

The command center soon came into view, and the Lance Corporal headed quickly to a quiet office across the way. His strides were long, and Mac inwardly thanked God for creating her tall and able to keep up. Reaching the office, the Lance Corporal opened the door and moved to the side, allowing Mac space to walk in behind him. Moving to the desk, he gestured to the receiver off the phone, lying in waiting for her.

"You can talk to her in here, Colonel. The Admiral wanted privacy," the Lance Corporal informed, saluting quickly, and leaving her alone, the door closing quietly behind him.

In the silence of the room, Mac observed her surroundings, noticing she was in a high-ranking officer's space. _A Colonel Richards_, she thought to herself, looking to the small nameplate at the front of his desk. Immediately she saw the number of awards and plaques of achievement hanging from the walls, an office distinctly that of a Marine. Smiling inwardly, Mac knew how often people said that about her office, bearing the same type of pictures, and "aura", as her fellow colleagues liked to put it.

Picking up the receiver finally, Mac stated quietly, "Colonel Mackenzie."

"Colonel, good to hear from you," came the Admiral's response. _Good to hear from me?_

"You requested me, ma'am," Mac responded, anxious to get this over with. If she was lucky, Mac could wrap up this case by the end of the night, able to leave for home tomorrow, at the earliest.

The Admiral suddenly paused, the seconds ticking away with an uncertainty that Mac couldn't explain. Something was very wrong. "I wanted you to be the first to hear this, Colonel."

Mac blinked with confusion, her heart racing a bit involuntarily. "Hear what, ma'am?" It was the only logical question she could think of, now sensing her inward approach towards the edge of a large cliff. Would she be pushed over? How far down was the fall? Could she survive? Or maybe she was overreacting.

Yet a second pause by Admiral Krennick shot fear through Mac's entire body. "It has to do with Commander Rabb, Colonel. He didn't show up for work today. We called his cell phone, his home, no answer at either," Krennick informed, the difficulty of doing so evident underneath the surface of her strong voice. Mac sensed it immediately, only because the same fear raged through her own veins. The information seemed strange, out of place. So what if Commander Rabb hadn't answered his phones? For some reason, she didn't see where this conversation was going, even though the underlying mood made her shiver uncontrollably.

_What was really wrong here? _

_Why was Krennick telling me this?_

"Is there something you wanted me to do about that, ma'am?" Mac asked, though the question sounded instantly stupid the minute it came out of her mouth. But what else was there to say? It was all just too strange.

Krennick, however, ignored her question completely and continued, "Commander Turner went to his apartment, and with great suspicion, broke the door down ..." Again the pause. And again Mac felt her heart gaining speed. _Broke the door down?_ _Why?_ Was she to assume the worse here? Was anything going to prepare her for what was to come next?

"His apartment was completely in disarray, indicating someone else's presence there. I don't know if they were looking for something, or just wanted to terrorize ... that I don't know. But NCIS is there now, investigating ..." Krennick explained further, yet Mac quickly interrupted.

"How is Commander Rabb?"

Again that pause. And Mac didn't know why, but she felt her breath catch in her throat.

She needed to assume the worse.

Krennick sighed heavily, emotion thick and suffocating. "Commander Turner found a note and a picture. The note stressed demands must be met, otherwise this would happen again. The picture ... was of Commander Rabb. He was ..." However, Krennick stalled.

_Was what? _Mac asked anxiously to herself, her hand immediately reaching to cover her mouth in awe. _No, it couldn't be_ ... she didn't know exactly what Krennick was going to say next, but wasn't good. The emotions switched between anger and despair deep inside her, unable to decide which one would do her the most good right now.

Before Mac could ask the obvious question, Krennick completed the statement, one in which didn't register right away. As if Mac wasn't really here, didn't really hear those words, the words that terrified her in their mere existence the day she admitted her love for Harm. She almost wanted to ask again, to ensure she heard the words correctly, if she should allow herself to comprehend such a horrific meaning. A meaning that dared to poison her, dared to suffocate her.

The words that took her breath away.

Again, however, the words came. _This time there was no mistake._

"He was dead."

**Harmon Rabb's apartment**

**North of Union Station**

**2300 EST**

_**Well it's all in your mind  
It's all in your mind**_

The air itself was dead.

Overwhelming.

Stale.

These words echoed through Mac's mind as she entered the trashed apartment, the apartment she knew so well. Merely stepping inside immediately elicited painful tears, though quiet and subtle. Actually, Mac had to admit since she heard the news, since Krennick gave her the immediate order to return home as soon as possible, she did nothing but cry, even though, since there was no body, there was a small inch of hope. Either way, she knew she might never see Harm ever again. In some ways Mac scolded herself for being so weak, for showing such raw sadness that caused many of her colleagues to show concern for her well being. Yet no one knew.

Nobody had any damn clue what she was going through right now.

_Nobody._

**_Well it's all in your mind  
__It's all in your mind_**

That loneliness caused her to cry even more, the tears blurring her vision as she walked through the familiar space. The floors creaked a bit under her cautious steps, those hindered by the painful truth. She didn't want to go any further, didn't want to think about this any longer. The anger rose quickly inside of her, creating an image of herself that she did not comprehend, an image that seemed separate and lost. Mac barely knew who she was the more she endured the ache of losing Harm.

_Oh, Harm_ ...

**_And I wanted to be  
I wanted to be  
__Wanted to be _**

Fighting off the tears, she walked across the floor, seeing clear indications of NCIS' work here. It actually seemed as if they might have been here all day. Everything seemed unmoved, untouched, left completely where they had found it. Mac fought back the urge to clean up the mess, not because she was a Marine, but because this was Harm's apartment. Because she had done it for him before, especially when he was gone on assignment. Because Mac wanted to remember how it was, before the mess. Because all she could see was Harm ...

Cooking, staring back at her with a wide smile ...

Waiting for her to return home from work, asleep on the couch ...

At the top of the stairs, promising to hold her for the rest of her life ...

Holding her tight now as she wept ...

A ghost-like image ...

_Why did you leave me?_

_**Your good friend**_

The tears streamed down her face now. Mac couldn't stop them any further, even if she wanted to. Yet she didn't. She needed to feel this, needed to feel the pain, if only to remember him better. By feeling the pain did she see his face in the darkness of her eyelids, desperately reaching out to touch him, to comfort him, to feel his love. Yet emptiness responded.

That was the correct feeling now ...

The feeling she couldn't explain ...

_Empty._

_**Well I cannot believe  
You got a devil up your sleeve**_

"Colonel Mackenzie?"

The call of her name immediately split through her thoughts, causing her to gaze to the door. A person she didn't expect.

"Sturgis." _No need to be formal now,_ Mac thought. _No reason at all._

He stepped into the apartment, evidently surprised to see her here. Mac wished then she looked better, that the sadness didn't drip off of her appearance so noticeably. However, Sturgis knew how much she loved Harm, and perhaps the best person to catch her here was him. There was no explanation to be made, no stammering for correct words to explain her unprofessional actions. A friend wouldn't come to the crime scene, cry herself silly, walk around as if the apartment was her own ...

_A wife would, though_ ...

_Cry for her husband_ ...

_**And he's talking to me  
And I cannot believe**_

Wiping the tears away from her cheeks, still attempting to hide her embarrassing emotions despite knowing there was no reason to, Mac replied quickly, "I just ... uh ... came to see ..."

Sturgis stepped up to her further. "I know." It was all he needed to say.

**_And I wanted to be  
I wanted to be  
__I wanted to be _**

Mac nodded, smiling slightly, though more as a cover-up than as a reaction. Yet how could she truly hide this? For months she and Harm hid their relationship, and so often did Mac pray that it would end. If anything, Mac wanted to announce to the world that her soul mate was Harmon Rabb, Jr. That one day they would be married, have an enriching life full of memories, pictures of birthday parties, family vacations, and graduations. This never became a possibility in her mind. Sure, they feared for each other's lives, they feared they would never return home.

But they _always_ came home.

This feeling ... this sadness ... these tears ... were they part of the deal?

So consumed by the happiness to come for their life together, she didn't allow herself to see the darkness, the valleys that were sure to characterize much of the journey.

_**Your good friend**_

Sturgis walked closer to her now, only a few feet away as they stood in and amongst the tragedy. They could stand nowhere else now, and Mac had no intentions to move. In that moment did she feel a link to Sturgis, both having lost someone they truly cared about. Someone that was so apart of both of his life and hers. Someone they would miss with every part of their being. "You heard."

Mac nodded, her gaze turning to a picture standing on a tall set of shelves. Reaching over, she picked it up in her hands, her control over her tears diminishing long ago. There was no control now. No need for it.

Rubbing her fingers across the two people in the frame, her smile staring back at her as Harm hugged her playfully from behind, the laughter dancing in Harm's eyes, a smirk crossed her tight lips. Yes, she remembered this.

_**Well you're all scared and stiff  
A sick stolen gift**_

"You found it first?" Mac asked, her eyes still boring into the faces staring back at her.

Sturgis nodded, now moving right up to her, looking over her shoulder at the picture she held in her hands. Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, he whispered, "I knew."

Mac turned then to look at him, immediately realizing what he was referring to. A relief washed over her now, in that moment feeling the chains ripped away, her heart free to feel whatever she wished. Her heart free to mourn.

_**And the people you're with  
They're all scared and stiff**_

It was all she needed.

Before Sturgis realized what was happening, Mac was in his arms, hugging him, crying to him, weeping for all that seemed lost. The motion was so quick, so shocking, that all Sturgis could do was wrap his arms around her, allowing her the time to let all emotions out in the open. There was no hiding now. _There was no need for it_.

_**And I wanted to be  
**__**Wanted to be  
Wanted to be **_

Not knowing what else to do, Sturgis allowed his own emotions to catch in his throat, not only for his apparently fallen friend, but also for the mourning woman in his arms. He had not allowed himself the time to do such a thing ... to release all that was bottled up since it started early this morning.

And with this freedom, all he could do was cry.

All he could do was hold her.

And that's exactly what he did.

_**Your good friend**_

**Vietnam Wall**

**Washington, D.C.**

**0100 EST **

_Harmon Rabb, Sr._

This seemed to be the only place to connect with Harmon Rabb, Jr., Mac's eyes never leaving the name engraved so proudly in the memorial before her. So long, so wide, so many men and women lost during a difficult war. And even though her Harm's name would never end up here, Mac felt oddly enough that it had, next to the father Harm never really knew. Next the man he wanted to be.

Reaching a gloved hand to it, she rubbed her fingers across the etching, the strangeness of being here melting away. It was where she needed to be in the deep darkness of the night, the only place that gave her light. Her mind seemed certain that Harm was dead, especially after seeing the photograph. She had cried all day as if it were true. All day she sensed that, despite not having Harm's body, even if they found it, he would still be dead. Something seemed certain about it. Perhaps she was unwilling to hope, unwilling to allow herself to travel that difficult road if only to be disappointed at the end of the rainbow.

She didn't want to put herself through that.

Sniffling slightly, mostly from the cold, Mac allowed her eyes to gaze down the length of the wall, the length of the memorial, seeing only two or three other people standing as stiffly as herself. At this time of night, she almost didn't expect anybody to be here. Yet her heart felt touched by the images, a woman finally moving slightly, setting a simple flower on the ground next to the tall memorial. Oddly, Mac felt herself soon doing the same, though not to this huge wall, but to a rather small headstone.

Mac knew she had lost him.

And that thought alone sent a lonely chill up her already cold body, switching her gaze from the woman to the sky, the stars twinkling in the cold, clear night.

"Saying goodbye?" a voice asked, a presence stepping up beside her.

Mac quickly looked, in that split second praying to God that Harm had suddenly appeared before her, only for her, waiting for her ...

But the man standing next to her was not Harm. He wore a bulky, blue, winter jacket over a tall, thin, yet muscled frame, rubbing his gloved hands together in the hope of keeping warm before he folded his arms tight across his chest. His eyes stared momentarily at the wall, and then drifted to stare at Mac, his face flushed red with cold.

Mac sighed and looked back to the wall, unwilling to offer good company. Today was just not the day. "Yeah." The answer came off more honestly than she wanted to admit, though the coldness was still there.

The man nodded as he looked back to the wall. The cold response didn't seem to faze him. "Harmon Rabb, Sr." he recited, his eyes squinting at the name.

There were a thousand names in front of them, so numerous that it often made Mac sick to think that so many lives were lost in such a war. Yet among all those names, the man beside her chose to recite the one name she was here to mourn. Perhaps lucky, perhaps coincidence, yet Mac didn't think so. "Who are you?" she asked, the anger rising in her voice as she pulled her own arms against her to ward off the chilling wind.

The man only smiled. "Don't be alarmed, Colonel Mackenzie."

_Okay_, Mac thought, _now I'm alarmed_.

"I don't know who you are, but if this is some kind of a joke ..." she began to reply in a highly angry voice.

But quickly he lifted a hand to stop her protests. "No joke, Colonel. I came here looking for you. I thought you might be here."

Mac huffed a little, eager to have this man leave her. Too much of her mind was consumed by Harm, his likely death. Hardly able to think straight, she certainly didn't need to deal with something like this right now.

_Haven't I suffered enough already? Without having to deal with some jerk on the street?_

"If you don't tell me who you are, and what you're doing here ..."

Again the man interrupted, turning towards her completely now. He almost seemed familiar, causing Mac to search frantically through her memory to remember where and when she may have seen him before. This man had essentially turned her emotions from alarm, to anger, to confusion, and finally curiosity. _Who was this guy?_

"My name is Daniel Winters, CIA. And I have some information for you, Colonel." His voice remained calm and collected, a true agent at heart. Mac searched his eyes, wondering then if she should believe him at all. Often did she credit herself for seeing the truth in someone's eyes, and right now this guy seemed quite sincere. Now finally looking at him through a clear lens rather than one clouded with anger, his demeanor shouted structure, a calm and subtlety she saw only in Clayton Webb. As strange as that was, his words seemed to top the chart of oddity. Information? For her? Maybe it did have something to do with Clay.

Intrigued, Mac asked quietly, though with obvious disbelief, "CIA? I can't wait to hear this." She was curious, but she knew better than to show that. Above all else, she needed to hide her true feelings towards him right now.

The man smiled warmly, a smile of confidence. A smile that spoke of a secret that he was only going to share with her.

Stepping a bit closer, his arms still tight around himself to fight off the cold, he bent down to whisper three words.

"_Harm is alive."_

..._**More to Come ...**_

_**Reviews Welcome ...**_


	10. Is It Possible?

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do now own JAG

**Author's Note:** Finally!!! Sorry this update took so long. Many of these scenes took some time to write. It's a big update though, so enjoy! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. I have loved the great response, which keeps me writing diligently. Read and Review! Enjoy!

**_Chapter Title: Is it Possible? _**

**Time and Place Unknown**

Cold. It was the first feeling to course through his veins, so strong, so overwhelming, causing him to awake from unconsciousness. Yet he couldn't open his eyes, knowing his surroundings probably have not changed much. How long had he been here? Hours? Days? Time slipped by so slowly, stuck in the nothingness and monotony that characterized this world. This would normally anger him, making him yell and scream, create havoc for those who have him bounded.

_If I had the energy, _he thought to himself.

His eyes assumed a life of their own, opening to small slits, barely registering how he was positioned. Was he on the floor? Must be, as he felt the hard, rough wood beneath his arm and shoulder. Realizing he was lying on his side, he then flipped himself on his back, only to moan with suffocating pain. The pain. He remembered it now. How could he forget?

The room around him was simple. A bed ... more like a soft mattress on ever- breaking strings. _Especially with my weight_, he observed, as he remembered being thrown on it when he first arrived, feeling the bed sink every time he attempted to find solace in it's awkward comfort.

Gazing at the ceiling, his senses suddenly picked up voices just outside the door of his small room. The same voices, the same men, who had taken him from his apartment, beat him unconscious, and brought him here. Since many of the events were still quite a blur for him, he could only assume that's what happened. One moment he stood at his stove, making eggs, and the next ...

Sprawled out on a table in a dark room, surges of ...

Maybe electricity?

Something hot ... burning ...

The pain stinging his skin, traveling through his bones from head to toe ...

His throat raw from screaming ...

Blackout ...

_And they didn't even ask me any questions,_ he mused with a sad laugh.

Sitting up seemed like a terribly high mountain to climb, yet he knew he needed to move, gain some flexibility for whatever moment may present itself. A moment giving him the chance to escape. Maybe he saw his situation in a much more positive light than most would, but there was a simple reason for this; her. Her image covered his eyes during his pain, helped him fall asleep, and helped him keep calm in a world he didn't quite understand yet.

Her strength gave him the courage to sit up, to wait, to pray for the moment of escape to come.

Maybe she didn't even know he was missing yet, but that was okay. In fact, he considered talking to her, writing to her, with only the words from his thoughts available. They would cross water, desert, and huge forests to reach her heart, to settle in her soul. She would hear him. It was all he had now, the activity he would continue to do, to ensure her he would return, he would find a way. That they will always be together. He knew he needed to keep doing this, not just for her, but also for him.

He needed to convince himself.

_Sarah. My dear Sarah. I'm alive. I see you in all of my thoughts. I pray I will see you again. Your face, your presence gives me strength, gives me hope that I we will be together soon. That I will survive. _

_I know you will never leave me. _

_I know you will find me._

_Love, Harm_

**Daniel Winters's Office  
****CIA Headquarters  
****Langley, VA**

The artificial warmth generated by stepping indoors made Mac's skin tingle. She never expected herself to be standing in the CIA Headquarters again. After Webb's death, in fact, she vowed never to return to this awful place. Every corner, every hallway, and every face reminded her of the loss she endured eight months prior. At that time she felt a need to purge her life of everything that reminded her of Clayton, the future with him lost in a blink of an eye, the love affair that helped her redefine her true identity, and the memories not yet shaped fallen helplessly into the black hole of his untimely death. Luckily, Harm, the friend and the man who has never left her, held her hand through her tears, stayed with her night after night for comfort. And yet, never did she expect this.

_Never did I expect to be back here again_, Mac grimaced. _Never did I expect to be looking for Harm. _

Mac normally would not have followed Daniel Winters, knowing nothing of the man and the possible danger of entrusting him, had it not been for the sensitive information he supplied. Information she did not have time to even consider or wish for throughout the day. Only then did she realize how deeply she truly loved Harm, her emotions boiling over, so consumed by the dreadful idea that he was dead. The words hurt her so deeply; a spot in her soul she didn't even know existed.

Gratefully, whether Harm was still alive or not, Mac found a new determination, convinced that she would believe in his survival until proven otherwise. Daniel Winters' information reminded her of one simple fact; there was no body. That alone should have triggered her innate investigative skills, if nothing else would trigger them. Yet Mac knew to keep these thoughts to herself, especially with this CIA agent whom she knew nothing about. As long as she was around him, she needed to be very careful. Clay taught her that.

In fact, Clay reminded her of the never changing slogan that characterized every CIA agent. _The job always came first._

_Always._

"How do you know Harm is alive?" Mac asked, nonchalantly, not wanting to reveal how essential his answer would be to her own sanity, as well as to the one piece of information that remained a trump card; her personal relationship with Harm. As far as she knew, it was still well hidden. Part of her sensed that somewhere in the near future, using her relationship with Harm would be an advantage. Somehow it would help, even if she were the only one aware of it.

As she walked towards a picture in Winters' office, the famous display of American heroism as firefighters placed the flag atop the World Trade Center rubble, Daniel replied calmly, sitting comfortably behind his desk, "Two main reasons, Colonel."

Mac turned from the picture to look at him with interest, noting he had removed his bulky, blue coat to sit down, revealing a picture-perfect suit underneath. _An agent never changes_. "One, the picture is a fake."

Mac huffed slightly, moving to gaze at the next picture on his wall, this time of the gutted Pentagon. "That's interesting, Mr. Winters, because the Navy disagrees," she informed, a challenging tone to her demeanor. In fact, just that day the Navy investigators agreed that the picture was indeed the real thing. Nothing suggested the picture was at all false. Considering this reasoning, Mac felt her hope begin to deflate like a balloon slowly running out of air. Perhaps she was allowing herself to get caught up in false hope, only holding on to the slim chance that Harm was still alive because she needed to.

_Maybe she needed to face facts_.

"I assure you, Colonel, it's a fake." The unwavering tone of his voice irked Mac just a bit, enough to cause her to wonder what was really going on. Instinctively, Mac sensed with the CIA's sudden interest and involvement in Harm's current situation, there was every reason to believe that neither Harm nor herself had any clue as to how deep this case went. Or who this case actually involved and didn't involve. "It's essential that the public believes the photograph to be real," Daniel replied, a small, content smirk crossing his handsome features.

Mac nodded, the sheer vastness of the statement indicating the maze of connections and contacts already involved in something she truly believed both she and Harm had merely tripped over. How many times had such an occurrence happened before? Too many.

_Some days_, Mac thought bitterly, _I hate being a JAG officer._.

"An unofficial agreement to officially post a lie?" Mac asked with a smirk, knowing full well how the system worked.

Daniel's smirk never left. "You could say that. Those that took Commander Rabb falsified his death, and we merely looked the other way. We both have reasons to keep this quiet."

Mac walked toward a third picture, this time of the downed airplane in Pennsylvania, realizing she wouldn't understand everything completely until she heard the rest of his explanation. "And the second reason?"

Daniel nodded as he leaned back in his chair, hands folded in his lap. "I was outside Commander Rabb's apartment when he was taken. I saw it happen."

The statement was so simple, said so calmly and with no regrets or sadness, that Mac was almost convinced she didn't hear him correctly. The implications of such an admission, what it truly meant, almost forced Mac to sit down just to absorb everything. The initial shock caused her to immediately glare at him, anger quickly overtaking and ruling her mood. In mere reaction, Mac asked with great annoyance, "You what?"

Daniel didn't smile this time, only looked away, obviously aware of Mac's mood change. In fact, it was to be expected. "I saw them push him into a car and drive away," he whispered, though still said in deep confidence and reassurance.

However, Mac's anger and disappointment in the CIA was far too great, especially when their colossal mistake involved someone whom she deeply loved. How could anyone just sit there and let it happen? Her future with Harm was quickly placed in jeopardy because of apparent CIA politics, bravado, or lack thereof.

Actually, Mac was getting sick of the CIA. _Haven't they ruined my life enough? _Mac thought bitterly.

_First Clayton ..._

_Now Harm ..._

"So you knew," Mac stated angrily, taking no time to step right up to his desk, only the discipline of a Marine officer keeping any outrageous, yet justified, actions at bay. She expressed exactly what Daniel's declaration meant. He knew Harm was going to be taken. To assume his presence outside of Harm's apartment was a coincidence would be giving the CIA too much credit, or perhaps not enough. Either way, she safely assumed the obvious here.

And she was right.

"Yes, I did. We only suspected, in truth, but it seemed highly likely that Commander Rabb was the next target. We let them take him because it allowed us to track where they were going, and hopefully lead us to their hidden headquarters." Daniel explained, still cool, calm, and collected.

Mac sorely wanted to unleash her fury on this heartless man. _Only the CIA could sit back and watch_, Mac thought bitterly. However, knowing such a reaction would be of no help, she continued to ask questions. She needed to save Harm, even if she may be the only one to go after him. Though her words could not hide her anger well as she muttered, cheeks flush with red as she walked away from his desk, "I can't believe this." Stopping in the middle of the room, she turned and asked angrily, "The next target of what and of whom?"

This question caused Daniel to stand up, his hands on the desk to support his tall frame. "The next target of a very small group in the United States, who happens to be supplying and aiding terrorist groups in the Middle East bent on planning another 9/11. We've been tracking them for months. Our work has been quite successful. We've arrested many of their members, some important. However, in doing so, we angered them. To fight back, they've been taking American civilians hostage, trying to trade. Well, you know the United States' stance on terrorists."

"Why Harm?" she asked with irritation, stepping up towards the desk again, still not understanding the significance of Harm's involvement, or her own, for that matter. Actually, the simple question had plagued her since this began, for obvious reasons. Sure, the small terrorist group might see advantage in taking a military officer, especially one of great importance and significance. Yet Mac still didn't see this when thinking of Harm. If anything, Harm's assignment and work in JAG would give him the reputation of simplicity, a military officer whose life rarely is dangerous.

Daniel moved around to the left side of the desk. "He's a high-ranking military officer with no one around him much of the time and no one guarding him, as would be on other bases. He's popular in Washington, has connections in the government because of his work at JAG. Since he's involved with the law, the group is hoping he, or one of his connections, will be willing to pull strings ... or trade privately. With the press uninvolved and following the wrong path because of Commander Rabb's 'death', it gives those wanting to trade for him room to do so without looking ... shall I say ... un-American?"

Mac took a second to digest this information, complicated, yet simple when considering the terrorist group's thought process. Harm wasn't chosen at random, or merely chosen because he was a military officer, but rather for precisely who he was and what he represented; a high-ranking military officer, a JAG officer who works daily with military law and had colleagues not only within JAG, such as herself, who might know useful loopholes, but also had friends in the government, such as a certain Congresswoman, who might feel a need to step in.

Suddenly everything made painful sense.

And with the press and Navy investigators tricked into believing Harm is truly dead, the small corner of the CIA and this case remained safely in the dark. Under such darkness, anything could be done.

Even if someone in the press or the Navy might question the picture, it would take him or her longer to catch on than the case would take to end completely. Harm, if everything went correctly, would be home by then.

Sighing deeply, Mac crossed her arms over her chest and asked, "So I'm a connection who might be willing to trade? Is that what you're saying?" Though she already knew the answer, she was reminded of her own advice; _never let on how much you really know to someone you don't trust_.

Daniel stepped up to her, the serious tone in his features overshadowing much of the room. Not all was said here, and Mac wasn't sure if she wanted to hear anymore. Already she floated through different emotions throughout the day, from happiness that her case would be finished so she could return home, sadness at the information that Harm was dead, and now anger that the CIA placed him in horrible danger while they attempted to infiltrate the terrorist group further; perhaps even get rid of it completely. And considering this, what could be worse than some terrorists taking the love of her life hostage? What could be worse than losing him if they misstep even the slightest? What if they don't get to him in time?

"There's something I haven't told you, Colonel," he whispered, his eyes ensuring his door was closed before returning his meaningful gaze to Mac. His eyes couldn't hide his concern, perhaps for her, maybe for Harm, but mostly importantly for the CIA and what was to come.

_And whatever he's going to say... I know I'm not going to like it._

"Do I want to know this?" she asked sarcastically, willingly showing her exhaustion with all of the secrecy that already took place here.

Daniel took a second, thinking quickly, before replying calmly, "Once we saw Commander Rabb's name in the transmissions we intercepted, they assigned me to follow him. I was there that night because of my assignment, and I had been there for months."

Strangely, Mac felt her stomach tighten in anticipation. Perhaps the CIA knew much more than she assumed they did. "And?" she persisted, hiding her nervous tension as she stepped up to him, sensing what he was going to say, yet urging him to reveal for certain.

"And ... I know." He smiled only a little, his expression indicating exactly what he saw throughout his surveillance of Harmon Rabb, Jr. He had seen her. He saw her coming to his apartment, he going to hers. He knew they never left their apartments until the next day, and they left together. He knew about the Vegas trip, even, perhaps, about most of the dates they went on over the course of the past few months.

He knew everything.

At that moment, Mac felt more exposed than ever before in her life thus far. Part of her wanted to run out of the office and hide in her apartment, while the stronger part stood up to him. She couldn't run away now. And from what? Did she really want to run away, not particularly from Daniel Winters, but from Harm? Not only from the chance to save him, but from the chance to admit to a section of the outside world that she loved him? That she was proud to love him?

_It's not something I should be ashamed of_, Mac reminded herself.

_In fact, it's something I've wanted to flaunt for months now._

Mac only smiled simply in return, allowing her tough demeanor to rule and overshadow her shock, saying hotly, "Congratulations, Agent Winters, for spying on Harm's and my personal lives."

Daniel put his hands up in immediate surrender. "Colonel, trust me, I was only spying on those who were already spying on you."

Mac sighed deeply, hiding her heightened curiosity as she asked, "Someone else was spying on us?"

Daniel nodded. "Yes, Colonel. The terrorist group sent one of their own men in." He then swiftly moved behind his desk to retrieve a manila folder, and handing it to Colonel Mackenzie. "In fact," he replied as she opened the folder to reveal the face of the very man who had followed them for months, "He's still following you. What I know, they know, I guarantee it. The terrorist group is banking on your love for the Commander. They're relying on your cooperation.

"They're relying on you to save Harm."

Mac took one more glance at the face, a small goatee, skin dark as that of the Middle East, yet his name American.

Suddenly what she had to do didn't seem so simple ...

_Suddenly, what I have to do ... I will commit my life to ..._

After slow seconds passed, Daniel felt the urge to continue talking, to explain further, and stated confidently, "I wanted you involved, not just because that's what the terrorist group wanted or because of your own safety. I wanted you involved because you're a Marine, you're tough, a hard-ass, and you love Harm more than anything in the world. You're going to fight for him. I can't get that anywhere else."

Daniel placed his hands on his hips, watching her reaction, watching her think through all of her options, allowing a minute to pass before he mused, "Semper Fi, Colonel?"

Mac nodded, handing him the file. "Semper Fi."

_The fight for Harm has begun ... _

_There was no question, nothing to think about ..._

_I'm coming, Harm ..._

**Mac's Apartment**  
**Georgetown  
****0230 EST**

The night wore on as Mac returned to her apartment, her muscles aching from too much use during the day. Amusement crossed her features, realizing she had done nothing except cry for her fallen colleague ... for her fallen Harm. Yet hope surged through her veins, like that of a stimulant drug readying her for the days to come. If she thought her muscles ached now, she couldn't imagine how they would feel after days and days of Marine Recon like stealth, adrenaline sapping every ounce of energy she could ever muster to accomplish her goal.

In fact, she realized in that moment she would die for Harm.

As she unlocked her door and walked into the suffocating darkness, images from the past began to flash across the front of her mind. So many memories she has had with Harm, so many times have they risked their lives for the other. And they've done all of this without a second's thought, without regret, only the solace of the other's survival enough of a thank you.

A weak smile brushed across her lips as she thought of the first time they were truly in trouble together ...

"_I'm going to get you through this, Mac. I promise."_

_The cloth, drenched in water from the river next to us, brushed across my face, dampening my fever. In his eyes, I saw concern, I saw caring ... perhaps even love._

"_Harm, there's something I've gotta know ..."_

Even today Mac can hear and feel the bullet nearly missing them, the whooshing sound deafening her ears as well as her intentions in the moment passed, Harm pushing her to the ground for safety. How long has it been? _Nine years_, Mac thought, _since we were stuck in the woods with poachers tracking us like animals because we caught them burying the game warden_. Though the pain from the buckshot to her leg was gone, the scar remained, reminding her of the close call she and Harm survived together.

_Like I could ever forget ..._

Entering her bathroom and shedding her clothes, Mac started the shower, giving it a chance to warm up before she stepped in. Without much effort, the steam from the warm water quickly enveloped her in a blinding fog, allowing her mind to travel through lost memories, to forget about this current reality and recall one not too far back. Remembering those special moments before she and Harm started going out together was easy, and Mac never understood why. But recently, remembering the course of their new relationship, Mac found it troublesome and difficult. It was this time she wanted to recall, the events that would forever remind her of how her love for Harm developed over the past six months, why it was so much stronger than anything she has ever felt, and why she was so willing to die for it

_And this, _she mused, _was how it began ..._

**Mac's office  
****JAG Headquarters  
****6 months ago  
****1300 EST**

_Mac sipped a little of her coffee, the contents of which usually offered her comfort and solace in the midst of a difficult day. However, today was not that day. Spending the entire morning in court was bad enough, but when the time spent only weakened her case because of a stupid mistake, a section of the case she admittedly missed in her hours of investigation, it only humiliated and accentuated the already horrible morning. Even now, as she sat at her desk in her quiet office, the bustling from the bullpen usually acting as a rhythmic song, dulling her to the confines of her work, her mind could not push the fog of this day away. _

_Two months ago from this moment ..._

_Mac shuttered, remembering the words that were forever labeled to her vocabulary, her control and sensibility on the edge of explosion each time she repeated them to herself. As she ran her fingers across the rim of the coffee cup, she knew instantly that she would be of no help to anyone today. There was just too much to handle right now._

_In fact, it took her almost six weeks of that two-month time period to get back on track. In some ways she was disappointed in herself for taking so long to recover, despite the sensitive nature of such a personal, life-changing trial. Many of her friends, especially Harm, expected her to take a long hiatus, perhaps even longer to truly deal with such a catastrophe. Yet, her Marine structure did not allow her too long to drown in her own sorrows. _

_It was time to move on._

_**And here I am**, Mac thought, **thinking about it again.**_

_Sighing deeply, she opened her file again, determined to get at least some work done this afternoon. It was the least she could do after performing horribly all morning. _

_Scribbling a few notes to the file in front of her, Mac only felt the breeze from the open window, a vile attempt to cool her extremely hot office down, as she neglected to sense a tall presence in her doorway. She vaguely heard the soft knock on her open door, something instinctively causing her to look up to see a handsome, smiling face stare back at her. _

_"Hey, Mac," Harm greeted, wearing his summer, tan fatigues, complimenting Mac's own dress in the same type, but Marine form. His eyes gave way to his inner worry for Mac, the worry that hadn't truly left for two months. He knew what today meant, what she was probably thinking about. Yet his smile remained happy, comforting, and kind. _

_Mac smiled back. "Hey."_

_He walked in then, accepting the silent invitation. Harm and Mac knew each other so well they rarely needed pleasantries or permission to enter the personal space of the other. Revealing a manila folder from underneath his arm, he placed it before Mac on her desk. "I reviewed the Sanderson case and made a few notes."_

_Mac nodded knowingly, immediately opening the folder. "Oh, great. Actually, I haven't had a chance to look at it myself." The Sanderson case was the first case since Admiral Chegwidden left JAG that they were assigned as a team to investigate. For once, they weren't at odds with each other in a courtroom, which, in this particular period of time, suited Mac greatly. Perhaps it wasn't Marine-like to say this, but Mac didn't feel very competitive lately, especially with the one friend whom she needed the most right now. _

_On top of this current case, Mac was also investigating five others, dealing with the tidal wave of work that came with the new JAG, Admiral Krennick. Everyone had the same caseload, and also expressed the same grievances. Yet everyone else seemed to be surviving and staying afloat. She, on the other hand, felt a bit suffocated._

_Harm folded his arms across his chest. "I've noticed," he stated quietly, with some concern lacing his words. "If you need some help ..."._

_"No, Harm, I'm fine," Mac insisted, refusing to let him finish. She was a Marine, she didn't need help. If anything, this was a test. She could complain all she wished, but when the end came, only she could pick herself up and brush herself off. **The only way to ride again is to get back on**, Mac thought. **And I can't do it if someone is holding my hand.**_

_Harm merely nodded, openly satisfied with that answer, but jotting this moment into his memory. He knew when Mac wished to talk no further on the subject, especially this one, despite having never said a word about the real issue discussed here, underneath the surface... the anniversary of the event ... a day that changed Mac's life ..._

_The day she heard Webb would never come back from his mission._

_"I got a call from Mattie last night," Harm said quietly, his smile turning quickly to a genuine happiness, his face beaming with pride. For the same two months of time, Harm has allowed Mattie and her father to spend more time together. Currently they were vacationing in California, a move that nearly took the entire two months for Harm to agree upon. In all honestly, since Mattie and her father were getting along so well, and with the issue of custody soon a concern again, Harm didn't see himself winning the case. In fact, Harm sensed it might be better to step away, a decision he did not decide upon lightly. When Mattie and her father returned, he planned on telling them his intentions, knowing full well what was best for all involved; Harm needed to give them space, let them be a family again. _

_Recently Harm has helped Mac with her sorrow for Clay, while Mac in turn helped Harm deal with his changing role concerning Mattie; from father figure to friend. _

_Actually, Harm was instantly amazed as to how well Mac helped him, and he didn't ever know why such a development should surprise him. Mac has aided him with many of his life struggles before. Perhaps, after almost a year of estrangement, Harm was surprised that Mac still wanted to help, still wanted to be his friend. _

_**Yeah, that might be it**, Harm reasoned._

_Mac smiled. "She's getting along with her father okay?"_

_Harm nodded, his smile broadening. "Yeah, she's having a lot of fun. She and her father are getting along great."_

_Mac knew underneath his shining smile was a man full of sadness. Though he would always be important to Mattie, deep down, Harm knew it would never be the same. Night after night Mac tried to comfort him, help him understand his new role in Mattie's life. Yet she knew it would take quite some time for Harm to release his worry, to accept a role he didn't fully comprehend. "And you miss her," Mac noted, only describing the mixed emotions on his face._

_He nodded._

_Mac continued, wanting to remind him again, "It's what she needs. And what you've done for her ..."_

_Harm, however, immediately cut her off, "I know. She won't forget about me." Though he normally found comfort in talking about this with Mac, at the moment, he didn't feel truly up to it. It only saddened him further, and today, he had no intentions of feeling down on himself. He had been doing that enough this week already. Gazing at Mac, seeing such understanding there, so much concern and care, all for him in this moment, made him weak at the knees. Recently, Harm had to admit, much of what Mac did made him feel vulnerable, aware of all of his surroundings, and, at the same time, only aware of her presence. _

_He decided then to change the subject, his own concern for Mac coming right to the front. "I heard you had a rough time of it in court this morning," he stated quietly, stepping a little closer to the desk._

_Mac then looked away, back to her cases, the special moment of mutual concern quickly fizzed out, like water over fire. The heat was gone. Quickly jotting absent notes, Mac shot back quickly, "Nothing I can't handle."_

_Harm nodded, his hands going to his hips. "Still, if you need someone to talk to ...". Yet he knew better than to press the issue, even though he felt he needed to say it, to promote his own availability for Mac. He would be there, and he would always be there. _

_"Was there anything else you needed?" Mac interrupted quickly, her glance from her notes indicating that she was, indeed, finished with this subject. Mac enjoyed Harm caring for her, enjoyed the fact that he insisted on helping her through these recent months. However, some days, she felt better dealing with it alone, or not talking about it at all. In a world where she was trying to forget, talking about it only made forgetting much more difficult and drawn out. _

_**If I wanted to move on**, Mac thought, **I have to move past this ... and dwelling on it only lets the problem live longer.**_

_Harm nodded and started heading for the door. "No." However, he stopped and turned towards her. _

_There was more he needed to say. _

_"What?" Mac asked, unable to hide her initial worry even if she wanted to. _

_Harm smiled a little, and walked a little further into the room. "Well ... you had your court room drama thing this morning ... and, of course, Webb ... and then I have the whole Mattie thing ..."_

_Mac smirked; sensing something interesting might just happen. "And?"_

_"And ...," Harm began, the smile creeping further across his lips. "I think we should drown our sorrows tonight. I think we deserve it."_

_Mac felt her smile grow, no matter how hard she tried to keep a straight face. She may not want to talk about Clay, but she may be in the mood for some fun. "Drown them in what?" she asked, hiding her interest behind her amusement._

_Harm shrugged absently, his face looking away in a fake embarrassment. "Milkshakes? Of course, if you think can't handle it ..." he offered, a hint of challenge in his voice._

_Mac couldn't help but laugh slightly, something inside of her twisting in anticipation. Anticipation for what, she didn't know. But she couldn't wait to find out. _

_In fact, she would venture to say, she hasn't felt this way since Mic. Sure, she had a relationship with Clay, which was mostly a fling at that moment in that time, during such a dramatic, life changing stage of existence. But with Mic, there was something. And with Harm ... _

_Well, with Harm, there has always been ... something. _

_Though Mac felt it may be too soon after Clay ..._

_She also felt a need for that companionship ... if only by a friend, as a friend ... _

_"Oh, I can handle that ..." Mac mused lightly, and continued in the most serious tone she could muster, "But you should know that whenever a man buys me a milkshake, they have to buy me a burger, too."_

_Harm laughed and smiled. "You are tough, Marine." Inwardly, he felt relief. Above all else, Harm sensed he was getting his best friend back._

_Mac smiled in return._

_They were going to have fun ..._

**AJ's Ice Cream and Grille Stand  
****Washington, D.C.  
****2030 EST**

_"I can't believe you can eat that," Harm joked, watching as Mac took a bite of her burger, obviously enjoying it. Mac has always loved burgers, and Harm has always wondered why. For him, staying in shape and at top form meant eating healthy foods, avoiding the bad calories as often as possible. A beer, or a snack, or even a milkshake now and again didn't hurt. But when Mac eats burgers as often as she does, and still remains one of the most beautiful women Harm as ever seen, his health tips mean nothing. _

_Mac smiled as she set the burger down on the crimpled paper it was once wrapped in. "I work it off. What I can't believe is how you can eat that grass all the time."_

_Harm immediately looked down at his salad, realizing then how awkward this must look to any one passing by; the man with the skimpy salad while the woman ate the huge quarter-pound burger. The only thing left to do was drink another gulp of his vanilla milkshake, his eyes gazing at the knowing look from Mac. How often they bantered back and forth, and how often Harm reveled in it. "At least I'll live longer," he shot back._

_Mac huffed. "But how happy will you be?" _

_Harm shook his head, watching as she took a sip from her chocolate milkshake. They were sitting outside on a picnic table next to the ice cream stand, the light breeze coming off of the Potomac River, amply cooling the humid air down enough to make the night enjoyable. The temperatures in Washington this week had been stifling. Though looking across at Mac, her hair, which she recently grew past her shoulders, down, and wearing a short-sleeved red shirt and shorts, Harm knew he felt warm for many reasons. His own blue shirt and khaki pants felt like a winter coat in this heat._

_In fact, the heat caused him to look down at his salad, hoping to hide the flush at his cheeks. Why did he suddenly feel like a hormonal teenager? _

**There's always something in the way  
There's always something getting through**

_"Are you feeling better?" Harm asked, now gazing up. They agreed to not talk about anything of these past two months, yet such a request was difficult to completely agree upon. Everything in their lives right now related back to Webb or Mattie. There wasn't room to get past it. _

_Mac nodded, picking her burger up again, replying before taking a bite, "A little." _

**But it's not me  
It's you  
It's you**

_Harm watched as he fumbled his fork through his salad, feeling a sudden sense of reflection as he remarked quietly, "We've been through so much this year." He then looked from his salad to an interested Mac, who continued to listen. "I honestly didn't think we would still be friends ..." he began, but stopped, fighting the urge to continue his thoughts._

_Mac, however, finished it for him. "Because of Paraguay?" She knew what he was thinking, what has been on his mind for this two-month period, and what has been on the forefront of their recent time together. Somehow, they ended this year together, though they started it separate, seemingly forever._

**Sometimes ignorance rings true  
But hope is not in what I know**

_Harm nodded, feeling an urge to express his feelings, his concerns for Mac. He never wanted any of this to turn out this way, no matter how much he loved Mac, no matter how much he was hurt because of her choice of Webb over himself, and no matter how much he wished this year had never happened. Because if it hadn't, he would never have met Mattie. Catching a quick glance to his salad, and then meeting Mac's eyes, he whispered with great sincerity, "I'm sorry you lost Webb."_

**It's not me ... me  
It's in you  
It's in you**

_Mac sighed slightly, seeing that, even though Harm has said that a million times during the past two months, only now did he truly mean it. He never wanted to see her relationship with Clay suffer or be destroyed by death. He, just like she felt towards him, wanted her to be happy, above all else. It was what they wanted for each other. Yet in this moment, Mac sensed that, with the interesting course this year has taken, the two of them, no matter how estranged they were, ended up sitting at a picnic table and reflecting about the losses each sustained and overcame._

_How they ended up at the end again, together ..._

**It's all I know  
It's all I know  
It's all I know**

"_I know," Mac responded. As she finished the last of her burger, she crumpled the paper into a small ball, looking up to see Harm closing the lid on his salad. "I'm sorry you lost Mattie," Mac added, her heart feeling open, soft, revealing in this moment, as their eyes met again. _

_Harm smiled then, tossing his plastic holder for his salad into the nearby trashcan. He stood, took Mac's paper and threw it in the trashcan, as well, before reaching his hand to hers. "Let's go for a walk." _

**I found peace when I'm confused  
I find hope when I'm let down**

_Mac couldn't think of a better idea, standing and taking his hand as they moved to the walkway next to the river. The warm air welcomed them into the soft glow of the moon overhead, the night serene and calm. Vaguely, Mac heard the sounds of the river, sloshing and moving below them, as they continued to walk, her hand instinctively moving to take hold of his arm. Her mind shifted through the many memories she and Harm have shared together, and instantly she knew this night would be distinct, something both would look upon with nostalgia._

**But not in me ... me  
In you  
It's in you**

_They may not be going out, but no one could question the deep concern and caring they had for each other. Especially now, the feelings revived, their friendship suddenly given new life, as Mac pulled him eagerly to the railing to look over the water. Instantly the soft wind brushed across her face, cooling her skin and warming her heart, as she leaned on the metal railing for support._

**I hope to lose myself for good  
I hope to find it in the end ...**

_Harm placed his hands on the top rail, his eyes looking to the most beautiful site in the entire world; Mac. Again he felt the warm feeling flushing through his veins, nervous and exciting. Maybe his intentions at the beginning of this "date" were merely friendship oriented. But now, with everything they have survived together, with nothing falling from the sky trying to prevent this moment to progressing to a point neither had predicted, Harm knew something had changed. Maybe neither knew how far it would go, or even if the feeling would survive past this initial moment. _

_Either way, Harm took the initiative, though simple in form, and leaned against the railing next to Mac, and took her hand in his. _

**But not in me ... me  
In you  
In you**

_Mac smiled inwardly, looking to Harm, noticing his eyes had not left her since they started walking. Now, standing in the glow from the streetlight adjacent to their current position, Mac felt she had reclaimed her friend. The feeling rejuvenated every cell in her body, her courage that was once diminished gaining new life under the support of the one person who could give it to her. _

_How essential his friendship has been to her ..._

_How essential he has been to her ... _

_Harm squeezed her hand, and whispered, "I've missed you, Sarah."_

**It's all I know**

_Mac couldn't stop her heart from racing, realizing then her mind, her senses, only saw this man in front of her, and everything else, from the river to the bright glow of the streetlight, was completely pushed away from the special touch, the special connection shared in this surreal memory. _

_Time stood still, and Mac knew that if she wanted to say anything special to this man, the time was now. _

**It's all I know**

_There were no terrorists trying to capture them ..._

_No CIA agent trying to pull her away ..._

_Only her own inhibitions, JAG, her recent loss ... _

**It's all I know**

"_I've missed you, too," Mac finally said in return, seeing herself as Sarah Mackenzie, the woman who loved this man in front of her, and would love him for the rest of her life. _

**In you**

_And in this moment ... he needed to know she never stopped thinking about him this year ..._

_She never truly left him, and couldn't imagine her life without him ..._

**In you**

_And before Mac knew what was happening, she reached up to him, and placed a simple kiss to his cheek. Inwardly she mused at a similar moment, the special, small ceremony held for Harm when he won his Navy Flying Cross for his heroism right before he left his dream of aviation. She gave him a kiss on the cheek then, as part of the ceremony, his words "be gentle" echoing through her mind like a sweet song on a summer evening._

**It's in you**

_A summer evening just like this ... _

_**Be gentle, **Mac whispered to herself. _

**In you**

**_Be gentle ..._**

**Mac's Apartment**  
**Georgetown  
****Washington, D.C.  
****Present – 0240 EST**

Mac felt the tears stinging her eyes, her hands on the wall of the shower attempting to support her weak, exhausted frame. The moment flipped through her mind like a moving picture, the shots clicking carefully and rhythmically, ordered and sapping her of any energy she had left. The water fell unceremoniously across her soft skin, the images of Harm drowning her in deep sorrow. Instantly she wished he was here, his arms encircling her, his kisses at the back of her neck, his breath tickling her cheek. Could she really go through life without him? Was it possible?

**_There's always something in the way ...  
__There's always something getting through_**

Finally feeling the strength to move, she turned the shower off, wishing she could turn off her quenching despair. Moving to her bedroom, Mac opened a drawer to her dresser, retrieving a gray shirt that was much too big. Pulling it over her head, the word Navy labeled across the front, the familiar fragrance of someone long gone taking her away, pulling her to a nostalgic world overflowing with a sought after happiness. A happiness Mac knew now she may never reach.

_**But it's not me ... me**_

Pulling the covers away and slipping in, Mac was amazed how empty the bed felt, how cold it seemed without him. Closing her eyes, she could almost feel him pressing up against her, protecting her, keeping her safe. His strong arms belonged to her and no one else. Her kisses, which began on that glorious night next to the river, would be reserved only for him from that day forward.

_**It's you  
It's you  
It's you ... **_

And she would reserve them still.

Deep in the lonely night, she felt his presence, his love, his heart, and his soul reaching across barriers of space, time, water, and desert.

And a promise ...

**_It's you  
__It's you _**

_I will find you, Harm ..._

_I will never leave you._

_My love ... my life ..._

_We will be together again._

**_It's you  
__It's you _**

_Fade Out song ..._

**_Reviews Welcome ... _**

**_More to Come ... _**

Switchfoot – "You"


	11. Dog Tags

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here**

**RATING:** PG-13

**PAIRING:** Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG

Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for the reviews they have sent. I really do read them and listen to suggestions. I'm sorry if my last section was a little slow. I hope this section will make up for it!  Again, thank you to all who have been reading and reviewing. Enjoy! Reviews always welcome!

**_Chapter Title: Dog Tags_**

**The Next Day – 1500 PST – December 12th, 2004  
****Near the Redwood Forest  
****California**

"Nice to see you again, Danny," Agent Thomas Long greeted happily, shaking the hand of his superior. Winters smiled in return, glad to see his friend in such high spirits. Long fit quite well into the atmosphere of this small outpost of the CIA, built specifically and secretly for hostage situations such as the current one for the western half of the United States. A graduate of MIT, Long decided to join the CIA to serve his country rather than work in the technological department of a huge multi-million dollar corporation. _He even wears the long, white, science coat during working hours_, Winters noted. This, however, only gave the man charm.

"Likewise," Winters replied back, immediately gesturing to Mac standing next to him. "This is Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, Marine Corp."

Long smirked a little, looking to her with obvious amazement. "A Marine? Gee, if looks could kill …"

"Tommy …" Winters warned, gazing at Mac with an apologetic eye.

Long quickly extended his hand to Mac eagerly, "Good to have you here, Colonel. I love being surrounded by intelligent people."

Mac replied innocently, "Better watch yourself, Agent Long. People who stay around me too long usually die." With a small smile, she shifted further into the huge lab, one full of huge TV screens, computers, and many devices that Mac admittedly could not identify. _How long ago was it that I was on a mission similar to this? _Mac asked herself reluctantly, realizing she may be a bit rusty. _Too much 9 to 5 for me. _She should just be happy that Krennick allowed her to go on this little expedition.

"Is that true?" Long asked Winters nervously as they followed Mac towards a huge map stationed in the middle of the enormous room.

Winters shook his head as they stepped up to the map, an obvious to scale rendition of the state of California. It shimmered brightly, causing the room to seem much darker than it actually was. Many sections of the map were marked with specific colors, each having a different meaning that Winters knew nothing about. That's why he trained as a field agent as opposed to something more specific, like technology. He liked tracking clues, people, information, and breaking and entering. He hated computers.

"What's been going on, Tommy?" Winters asked.

Long sighed slightly as he glanced at the map carefully, like that of a mother over her child. "Oh, it's been interesting." Stepping a bit closer, he pointed to a section of California that Mac knew she had never been; Shasta National Forest. "We've been receiving the signal from Commander Rabb's tracking device from this specific spot for close to 30 hours now. By helicopter, it's about a two hour distance from here."

"Seems to be the perfect spot to hide a center of operations for a terrorist group – in the middle of nowhere," Winters remarked lightly.

Long rested his hands on the edge of the map. "That's the problem, Danny. With satellite surveillance, we've been monitoring their activities since Commander Rabb was moved to that spot." Turning around slightly, he grabbed a few pictures off a nearby desk before placing them on top of the highlighted map in front of them. "It's a small cabin. Barely enough room for a vacation in the woods let alone a headquarters for anything. I think the spot is just being used to stash Rabb until a deal is made."

Mac bent over the pictures to see them closer, observing the tiny cabin and it's small space. _It looks smaller than my own apartment,_ Mac mused silently, realizing that Harm's capture may not have led the CIA to anything meaningful. Perhaps hidden files and information were stored in the small space, but it was still a huge disappointment for the massive kill they expected to make. "Are you sure Harm is there?" In fact, the last thing Mac wanted to do was go in, guns blazing, and find out they were misled. Not that they weren't doing a little misleading of their own here. In fact, that morning Winters had Mac send a message to the group that she intended on making a deal.

Obviously, that was hardly true.

"Yes, assuming he's still wearing the tracking device," Long reassured.

"Which was attached to what?" Winter asked.

Long answered quickly, "His dog tags. I thought those were the best bet, considering the military wears them all the time."

Mac huffed, "Then you don't know him very well, Agent Long. He's forgotten to put them on recently. You were lucky he remembered that morning." Her eyes gazed into his, a knowing and challenging look indicating that if anyone knew the normal routine of Harmon Rabb it would be her. And perhaps if Long or Winters wanted to know what Rabb might do in this very situation, Sarah Mackenzie would likely be the number one source. Not only because she was in a relationship with Commander Rabb, but also because she has been his partner for nine years.

She certainly knew how Harmon Rabb worked.

Indeed Winters knew Mac would be of more help to come. "Well, he's wearing them now."

Mac shrugged. "Probably. If he or his captors didn't take them off and leave the cabin without you catching on."

Actually, Mac had a point that Winters needed to question of his friend to ensure Commander Rabb was still in the spot they suspected. "You actually saw him being placed into this cabin?"

Long turned again to grab another picture before placing it in front of Winters and Mac. "Right here," he began, the picture displaying a few trucks set outside, the same in the previous pictures, and a few people seeming to carry something towards the front porch of cabin. "We're not exactly sure they were carrying Commander Rabb, but it seems very likely."

"What are we looking at when we go in?" Winters asked as he walked around to the other side of the huge map towards a desk to the far side, and sitting down in the chair next to it. Gazing at the pictures, he noted the large amount of foliage around the property, essentially promising a nice, quiet approach.

Long leaned on the map. "First, there's a guard circling the cabin at all times. Second, there are no more than about five others inside the cabin at one time, not including Commander Rabb. Third …", he explained, pausing to retrieve a closer picture of the cabin to show Mac who still stood next to him, "Commander Rabb seems to be towards the back of the building. There is a back door, and, if you're lucky, you may be able to retrieve him without anyone but the dead guard outside knowing you're there."

Mac shook her head in disbelief. "I don't think we can be that quiet."

"I did say if you were lucky," Long interjected with a smile. "There's also much more foliage towards the back of the cabin than towards the front. So it's probably best to come from that angle."

Winters scratched his chin absently, thinking of all they would need for this to work. He didn't believe any more than four or five people, he, Mac and few fellow CIA agents, would be needed for this little operation. Perhaps back-up deep in the woods, waiting for their confirmation of rescue before moving in and taking the entire cabin and its occupants. The fact the terrorists led them to a building that didn't compare at all to the huge operations they hoped to find, Winters felt an urge to slam dunk this little outpost. Take it out, get Commander Rabb back, and move on to plan B for finding their headquarters. Hopefully something in the cabin would help them in their search.

"What do you think, Colonel Mackenzie? Doable?" Winters asked, already convinced they would, only interested in Mac's reaction.

She nodded eagerly. "If Harm's in there, I'm going in."

Winters smiled and stood up. "Let's get ourselves suited up."

**Cabin  
****Somewhere in Shasta National Forest, California  
****1530 PST – December 12th, 2004**

Harm groaned slightly as he felt a fist slam into his gut, the initial pain dulling to an ache quickly. Every pain he suffered during his time here has dulled to an ache, his whole body dipping in and out of unconscious. Right now, he barely knew what was happening, only feeling himself being pulled to his feet, dragged through the hallway and thrown into the room he knew way too well. Landing hard to the wooden floor, he heard the slight amusement coming from his captors before the door closed, leaving him lying helplessly on his side.

Amazed at himself after a beating or interrogation, he again felt an inner strength revive him enough to sit up, and soon stand. Walking gingerly over to the small window in his room that was just at his eye level, barely big enough to look out into the vast forest blanketing him further into this dreadful world, he rested a hand on the ledge to help keep his balance as he once again thought of Sarah. He smiled in spite of himself, knowing her reaction if she saw him like this; face puffed up like a balloon, hardly able to walk, small burns on his arms and legs, and probably a few broken ribs as he noted a sheer pain when he breathed. The wrath of the green, lean, mean, fighting Marine would fall onto this cabin. Not that he hasn't had to rescue her during many instances, recalling the numerous times he risked his life for her. _I guess we've both had our share of life-saving, _Harm reasoned.

As he said his silent prayer of reassurance and comfort to her, the one he said every moment he was conscious, he inadvertently remembered the first kiss they shared as a couple. Sure, they've kissed a few times before entering a relationship, but he mused over how long it took them to kiss when they were actually allowed to do so. _Two weeks? Three? _Harm guessed to himself. _Somewhere in the middle._ At the time he thought it crazy that it took them so long to become comfortable with each other, especially looking back and considering how everything is so different now.

Yet each needed that time.

Gazing out at the sky, the sun setting behind the tall trees, streams of light seeping between the leaves and bushes, Harm remembered with amazing accuracy that first kiss, that night.

Though their first date was simple; a night of milkshakes, burgers, conversation, and forgiveness next to the Potomac River, it ended just as simple with each returning home to their respective apartments alone. Harm knew not to press it, knew it was best to enjoy the moment of closeness and intimacy as it was that night. In fact, it had been perfect, Mac's kiss to his cheek leaving a tickling sensation to this day.

_But our first kiss as a couple … well …_

_That was something different …_

**Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown  
****2 weeks after first date  
****2030 EST**

_Harm gazed eagerly out the window as the sun began to sink deeply into darkness, his hand holding a glass of water he had nursed throughout the entire dinner with Mac. His other hand resting on the side of the windowsill, he wondered how his life ever progressed to this point, flirting with a happiness that was suddenly within his reach. It took him years to finally get over his father's death, and he waded through girlfriend after girlfriend before meeting Diane. Then with Diane's death and the chance of happiness lost, the circle began again until he met Mac. _

_Mac._

_It took them nine years to finally reach this level with each other, to finally admit they wanted more from their time together. To admit there was more to have here, more happiness beyond either could possibly fathom._

_"Well, what's your grade?" came a voice from the kitchen, causing him to take one more glance at the night sky before walking towards the dining room table. _

_"My grade is …" Harm began, grabbing his plate from the table before moving into the kitchen behind Mac, who was rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. "It's hard to ruin spaghetti."_

_Mac looked to him with a mock anger, poking him in the ribs as he stepped up to her. "You better watch yourself, sailor, or you'll be on a boat home."_

_Harm smiled widely, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "You did a great job," he reassured, walking back to the dining room table to retrieve a dish. "At least I'm alive."_

_Mac then turned to stare at him, leaning back against the sink, arms folded. "I think you would rather sit at home alone tonight," she chided playfully, watching as he placed a dish in the sink behind her, his face only inches from hers._

_"I think I should shut up," Harm remarked carefully, his serious tone quickly turning into another broad smile. Mac laughed as she turned back around and continued her work as Harm began to assist._

_But Mac pushed him away. "No, come on, Harm. You're my guest, you don't have to do my dishes."_

_Harm shrugged. "You sure?"_

_Mac nodded, looking to him as she placed a plate into the dishwasher. "Yeah, go sit down, get comfortable." _

_Harm followed her insistence and walked back into the small dining room. Unfortunately, it had been quite awhile since he was in Mac's apartment, a record he hoped to change in the next few months. During the past two weeks of their new relationship, most dates took place out of town, or in his apartment to watch a movie to ensure everything would be kept a secret. Being in her apartment instinctively gave their new relationship merit, as if neither believed it true until they had participated in couple-like activities. Mac making dinner, which she rarely ever did for anyone, seemed to seal the deal for Harm. _

_He was in a relationship with Mac. _

_Taking in the atmosphere, he noticed nothing much had changed; the couch and coffee table were at a slight angle to the fireplace, the TV nearby, as well as a desk over near the other side of the room with a computer and other important papers. It was then he noticed a small, new bookcase over near one of the huge windows that overlooked the street below. He took a sip of his water while he walked towards it, only then noticing a picture he had yet seen; a small girl standing next to a man down on one knee with his arm around her. _

"_Hey you," Mac whispered with a smile, walking up to him._

_Harm gestured to the picture. "I don't think I've seen this one."_

_Mac looked to it with a small smile. "I found it recently while rummaging through old boxes. It's me with my Uncle Matt while we were on vacation. I must've been ten or so." The images from her childhood irrevocably entered her thoughts, the sadness coming quickly to the surface despite her best efforts. The sadness would never completely leave her, this she knew. It was apart of her and always would be._

_Harm took the picture, giving it a closer look, while Mac walked over to the fireplace to start a nice fire. Strangely, the picture seemed familiar, in such a way causing Harm to take the picture out of its frame to see where it was taken. Flipping the picture to the back only revealed three upper case letters written in the far left, bottom corner. "RRM?" he called out, glancing to Mac curiously._

_Mac glanced to him for a second before answering with the slightest hint of disappointment that he couldn't guess, "Red Rock Mesa."_

"_Of course," Harm responded, a little embarrassed at his inability to guess the small riddle, as he placed the picture back in its frame and into it's previous spot. The face of the girl in the picture clearly resembled Mac, yet the eyes spoke of pain, hurt, and fear, despite the smile she sported to hide her feelings. Such bravery clearly hadn't left Mac in her current years, Harm often seeing her vile attempt to hide her problems recently. _**Especially from me**_, Harm realized. _**In the future, it won't be so easy. **

_Harm walked towards the couch, watching as Mac prepared the fire. "Did you vacation with him often?"_

_Mac nodded slightly, the fire quickly lighting, before she turned around to face him. Normally the subject of her past was an issue she rarely discussed with anyone. What Harm knew often was by mistake, including long-lost husbands showing up on the scene, as well as dying, abusive fathers she thought she had left years ago. Each time, each flashback to her past gave Harm an even larger knowledge base than she wished. Yet if anyone needed to know all she had survived and been through, Harm was the perfect candidate. Through everything, he has always been the most supportive._

"_He tended to be the only normal family I had," Mac informed as she moved to the TV to retrieve the rented movie and place it in the DVD player. Oddly enough, since they began their relationship, movies tended to be the only way to release the nerves on nights like tonight. Mac had no clue why they were so nervous around each other, why it was taking them so long to be comfortable. _

_Harm moved around the couch to sit down, placing his water on the nightstand next to him. Mac started the movie and stepped over to the couch to sit down, as well, allowing Harm to take her hand. In fact, he seemed eager to continue their discussion, another question dancing across his lips. "Do you keep the picture to remind you of the good memories?"_

_Mac turned to look at him and squeezed his hand. "No," she began quietly, "I keep it to remind me of the bad. To remind me how far I've come." She then snuggled a little closer to him. "But I don't want to talk about that now."_

_Harm nodded slightly, deciding to enjoy Mac's presence in his arms and not push the subject further. It wasn't necessary, especially so early in the relationship. They were just beginning to feel each other out, to sense what the other expects and wants in such situations. Right now, Mac just wanted to be held. _

_As the movie began, Harm whispered, "I've really enjoyed these past two weeks." Why he said it exactly, he didn't know. But he said it, and he would say it again._

_Mac leaned back a little to look up at him and she smiled knowingly. "I know. I've enjoyed them, too."_

_Harm normally would think that his statement was enough, yet he continued, "I know I've been a little afraid of this, of us. If something were to go wrong …" _

_Mac caressed his cheek lightly, whispering in return, "I've been afraid, too."_

_Looking into his eyes, Mac suddenly felt the fear break, felt it release her to do what she's wanted to do since this started, since she met him. Kiss him and know she was kissing him because they were together; not because Harm was missing an old girlfriend, not because she was having second thoughts about her marriage, and not because they could hide behind the old tale of mistletoe. Now was their time. It was here._

_Harm didn't hesitate giving her what she wanted as he bent down to kiss her, Mac feeling the urgency, the heat, and the insistence in his lips. It was clear this had been something they both wanted. With her hand moving through his hair, she felt the kiss deepen, their lips learning new territory, enjoying the intimacy wished for yet defined for so long as off-limits. Now there was nothing stopping them, no alarm ringing off in her head telling her she had to stop because there was a fiancé waiting, or because she was merely standing in as someone else. _

_Yet as the kiss deepened further, from the light, simple touch, to a passion so uncontrollable, so unbelievable, Mac couldn't remember the last time she felt such love, such need for anyone. What was building up in that kiss was blinding, something Mac knew she may not be ready for. Not yet. _

_She broke the kiss then, her breath a little ragged as she stood up, leaving a surprised Harm waiting for an explanation. However, only the sounds of the movie were filling the muted space, the muted moment as Mac tried to figure out exactly what just happened. This felt like much more than just her attempt at a relationship with Harm. This felt like something deeper, something only the very lucky had._

"_What's wrong?" Harm asked, a little confused, though feeling the same shock to the kiss that she was. Where did it come from? The passion?_

_Mac looked his way, her arms folded. "I didn't know we had that in us." She knew there was urgency there, but not like that. _

_Harm stood. "Me neither." _

_Mac asked, a little more lightly, "Where did it come from?"_

_Harm smiled slightly as he moved around the couch towards her. "Nine years bottled up, I guess."_

_Mac walked a little closer, closing the gap she had inadvertently created because of her shock. "I think …" she began in a whisper, her thoughts running faster than she could comprehend them, "…I need time."_

_Harm looked away, normally wanting to argue the point, reminding her of how long they have been waiting for this. However, deep in his own heart, he felt the same struggles, the same shock, the same need to think this through. At the moment, the kiss, the urgency there, the uncontrollable passion, could take them to a place they weren't ready for right now. Harm knew he needed to be careful, that if he let the passion run, there may be some regrets, going too fast too soon. "Me, too."_

_He then stepped up to her, gave her a light kiss, and whispered, "I think I should go."_

_Mac looked into his eyes. "I didn't mean you had to leave …"_

_Harm shook his head, quickly interjecting, "It's better if I do. Otherwise …". He smiled and kissed her again on the cheek, wishing they were at that point, wishing he could just let go. But right now, he couldn't. Not only because she wasn't ready, but because he knew he wasn't ready, either. They would be jumping over a cliff blindly, and he knew they shouldn't jump until they knew what they were jumping into. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

_Mac nodded as she watched him grab his coat from the hook besides the door and quickly leave. Breathing deeply, she looked down, away, and finally stepped back to the TV, it's images flashing. Turning it off, her heart wished he was here, wished they were ready, and wished there were no nerves. Actually, what happened tonight showed them what was to come, what would happen if they ever let go completely. _

_In fact, Mac felt her heart race when thinking about it. _

_What she didn't know was that Harm still stood outside her door, leaning back against it, his own heart racing at the very thought of completing his intentions, of fighting his fear. Yet there he stood. _

_There he closed his eyes, thinking of her, thinking of the kiss, knowing their time would come. _

**Cabin – Shasta National Forest  
****California  
****1600 PST – December 12th, 2004**

Harm leaned back against the wall next to the window, remembering that moment in his life as clearly as he saw this room. They came so close to crossing the line, the line they actually were permitted to cross, yet each fell to their fear. In the moment Harm wondered if they made the right choice, if giving into their fear was wise. Now, in hindsight, it was the best choice they could make. Though they were officially dating that night, each still looked at the other as more of a friend than a possible lover. A friend they were trying a relationship with because of the love they felt. The fact that they were so close to changing their relationship in that moment, with one night, scared both of them off.

However, as Harm considered that night, he heard voices just outside his window. Though the glass prevented him from hearing the entire conversation of the two guards, he heard a few words that gave him knowledge he was glad to have. Satellite, urgent, leaving, and …

No, he couldn't have heard that.

Could he have?

Harm almost felt elated for the first time since he arrived here. Though he got the impression they were moving him, which would normally be disastrous, he also heard something else that made his situation turn for the better. Looking around frantically for anything sharp, anything that had an edge, his hands fell to his dog tags.

Dog tags …

Pulling them off quickly, he moved quickly over to the bed, to the space between the bed and wall, and dropped to his knees. Taking the edge of the dog tags, though somewhat dull, he scraped into the wood, which was soft enough to make an impression. Scraping, scraping, and scraping some more, he only hoped he was still here when the rescue team arrived. For he knew with the guards suddenly wanting to leave the cabin ASAP, the urgency in their movements, Mac must have caught on. He felt her presence, knew she was coming for him, and knew if he finished his impressions in the wood she would catch on again.

The door to his room suddenly popped open, causing him to glance up, drop his dog tags quickly to the ground, and stand to see the guard staring at him. If there was a chance to think, he didn't find it as he was once again manhandled out of the room and into the hallway. He didn't fight this time, allowed them to take him as his mind traveled back to his dog tags, to his scraping, to what he felt especially for Mac.

_Please Mac_, Harm begged, _please see it …_

**Shasta National Forest  
****California  
****1800 PST – December 12th, 2004**

Mac realized she had not been dressed like this for some time; a CIA, black, combat uniform, every kind of secret weapon the CIA could muster in every pocket she had, and wearing a thin pair of headphones as her radio. Combat training came with the territory of being a Marine, yet she felt a dire need to be dressed as a Marine rather than an agent. Luckily, along with her adrenaline and the small, thin layer of thermal dressing underneath the uniform she wore, she hardly noticed the chill in the air. There wasn't enough room in her mind to worry about being cold.

Looking up, she watched as the helicopter moved out above them, leaving the five of them alone. Agent Winters took his normal team of CIA ops, along with Mac, to help secure the location and to rescue Harm. Being with a team who has done this work a million times before comforted Mac further, giving her the confidence that they would find him.

The darkness surrounded them well and made them invisible as they moved quickly through the bushes towards their destination. Winters glanced at a small device in his hand, the tracking signal helping him locate Commander Rabb, as well as a highlighted spot on the small map showing him exactly where they were in comparison to where they were going. Only about a half hour walk, Winters noted, placing the small device back in his pocket and indicating to the team to keep moving.

Before long, Mac realized they had come up on a clearing, a good thirty-five minutes, and eighteen seconds later. Hiding deep behind the bushes, the strong smell of pine, mud, and rain filling her nostrils, Mac noted one truck was missing from the two seen in the satellite pictures hours before. She saw Winters, who was slouched and gazing at the scene before him; a quiet cabin, lights on, and one guard making his rounds.

"Agent Winters," came a voice whispering in his headphones.

Winters pressed his hand to his left ear. "Colonel?" He knew that Colonel Mackenzie was no amateur, and knew if she needed to say something now, it must be important.

"There's one truck missing. Are you still getting the tracking signal?" she asked, a little worried with his answer.

Winters quickly retrieved his small, electronic map. "I see it. Yes, we're still getting the tracking signal." He knew what it might mean, however. With one truck missing, it suggested Commander Rabb might have been moved. Perhaps they caught on.

However, they needed to keep moving and couldn't dwell on small chances. As he saw the guard moving around the back of the cabin, Winters looked to a fellow CIA op, Agent Mark Winston, and without another thought the agent moved in. Winston was one of his best, and he knew he could depend on the man to do anything.

Watching from the back, Mac realized then that even though Winters may have spieled about how important her presence was to this mission, she sensed quickly she would be one of the last to be used for anything such as take out a guard. Her presence was needed for merely information on the ground, as someone who knew, if the situation presented itself, what Harm might do in a dangerous spot. The last thing Winters wanted to do was guess Commander Rabb's actions, someone who would not think twice about taking a situation upon himself, about risking his life in a second. The Commander, as he knew, was known for such stunts.

Mac gazed at the scene of the guard, and in the next second he was gone. She felt herself smile, awed by the stealth displayed by the man Winters sent in. If all of his agents were so quiet, perhaps there was hope.

"All secure," Winston said in everyone's radio, Winters seeing from his position only a small hint of his agent still at the back of the cabin, next to the back door.

Winters quickly called each member of the team to move in to respective spots across the way, and as each left he suddenly felt Mac's presence next to him. Gazing to her, he sighed, saying quietly, "You stay here, Colonel."

Mac huffed, "I didn't get dressed up to sit on the sidelines, Agent Winters."

"We'll call you when we're in," Winters pressed, beginning to move when he felt a tug at his arm.

"Do I need to remind you of the capability of women in combat?" Mac asked, with a hint of annoyance in her eyes.

Winters sighed again, looking over at his men waiting for him at the back door, then looking back at Mac. Indeed, it was his own words that said Mac, of all people, would be the perfect candidate for this type of operation. Her skills and achievements as a marksman, her previous combat experience, as well as her love for Harm gave her intangibles that set her above most others in this situation. "Okay, Colonel, cover me, and follow us in."

In a second he was gone, and Mac watched him, slightly angered but willing to take the role given. Taking a deep breath, she hurried through the brush and watched as they positioned themselves around the back door. Mac saw Winters talking to two of his agents, and watched as they moved quickly around the other side of the cabin. Coming up on them, Mac looked to Winters, seeing him take only a second before motioning to Winston to break the door down.

In seconds, Winston kicked the door through and dropped to the ground, one man on the other side glancing in shock towards the sudden disturbance only to have his life ended quickly with a quiet, precise shot to the head. Winston and Winters looked to each other, trying to guess which one shot so quickly, before looking back at a satisfied Mac holding a silencer pistol. "Let's move," Mac insisted with a whisper, smirking at a shocked but content Winters who nodded and quickly urged Winston to his feet.

Winston moved quickly to the left wall and hugged it, moving quietly and swiftly through the small hallway space. Winters had taken the right side with Mac right behind him, both in the same position as Winston. In this instance did Mac take a second to absorb her surroundings, observing the faint, brown coloring of the wooded walls, years and years of wear indicating the cabin did not have much life left. Mac saw a doorway on the left coming up and looked to Winters, who had also seen it.

He nodded in acknowledgement and kept moving through the small hallway, coming up on an open living room. Looking to Winston, Winters passed quiet communication before they each took a second and jolted around the corner. Mac followed, only to see them shoot two more people in mere seconds. The two other agents came through the door, having taken care of the front part of the cabin.

Winters motioned for the two agents to move towards the few rooms off of the main living room, as Winston took it upon himself to give the cabin a once over of his own. Obviously it was important to be sure they secured it before moving on.

As Winters turned to tell Mac to address the room they had passed, a likely spot to hold Commander Rabb, he realized she had already moved to it and was now attempting to break down the locked door. It didn't take too many kicks to break it through, Mac pushing it quickly to the side.

"Harm!" Mac called, in fear, in hope, in mere adrenaline and surprise that it had been this easy. Immediately her mind filled with images …

Harm sick, Harm lying dead, Harm bleeding, Harm needing her …

She racing to him, hugging him, holding him …

Yet as the second of hope passed, and she finally got a full view of the small room, and all she saw was a bed to the right that sat parallel to the back wall. Stepping into the space, immediately the musty stench of the room filled her nostrils, as well as the faint smell of the blood. Looking to the left, she saw spots of the blood, one spot agonizingly large, while the other next to it held a deep red that chilled her soul.

Moving a little further in, she hardly realized Winters following her, his face displaying a deep disappointment. Mac barely hung onto her pistol, it's handle hanging from her numb hand. The moon from the window before her filtered in a white light, and immediately Mac felt Harm's presence. There was no doubt he had been here. Her soul irrevocably touched his, her own heart beating in time to his.

They came so close …

Mac moved to the bed and sat down, the weight of missing him, the weight of his pain searing through her veins. Her hand went to her eyes, a vile attempt to make all of it go away, to make everything she had done to get here, everything that put Harm through such a horrible test just fall into the darkness of a forgotten dream. Yet the air filling her lungs, the rank stench of the room, the light from the window, and a hand of comfort to her shoulder told her none of this was a dream, that everything was the nightmare she feared the most.

Lowering her head, she couldn't find the will to cry, her mind whirling from the lost attempt. There were so many possibilities right now of where Harm could be. If his captors caught on, maybe they killed him and buried him somewhere around here. Maybe they took him and killed him at their next stop. Maybe they took him to another country, hiding him forever, just like his father.

Maybe she would never see him again.

"The tracking signal is still around here somewhere," Winters informed distantly, Mac barely hearing him behind her, nodding knowingly. Why did she know this was going to happen? Why?

As she removed her hand from her eyes, a small glare blinded her quickly, the light from the window bouncing off of an object at her feet. Focusing her eyes a bit, what lay carelessly at her feet, what suddenly surged a small bit of hope through her heart, was the one object Harm often forgot to put on before going to work. The object she questioned hours before.

Bending down, she retrieved the dog tags, Harm's dog tags. Mac knew what they looked like, had seen them a thousand times before this. Yet this time, the dog tags promised Harm's survival. Now it was likely he dropped them, perhaps leaving them to indicate to her that she was still alive. In reality, if that scenario were true, he may have hurt his chances of being found since the dog tags brought the CIA here. Even so, Mac felt a small sense of relief.

Holding them securely in her hands, her thumb tracing the marks etched into the shiny, silver coating, her eyes caught etching she did not expect. Mac slid her left foot a little further to the left, revealing a scraping in the wood that she knew she normally would not have seen if not for the dog tags. The etching was small, done in haste, though it's meaning was not lost.

It's meaning caused Mac to smile from ear to ear.

Winters suddenly appeared behind her, his presence towering over her as he noticed Mac's fixation towards the floor. "What is it?"

Mac smiled wider.

"RRM."

_**More to Come …**_

_**Reviews Welcome …**_


	12. My Immortal

**TITLE: What Happens Here Stays Here**

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and everyone who has been patient with me as I write this story. This past chapter took some time because of a particular scene, and I am so glad to finally finish it!! I only have one small little scene left that I will label as an epilogue. I hope all have enjoyed it, and I thank everyone who has reviewed. Reviews always welcome! Thanks!

**_Chapter Title: My Immortal_**

**1500 MST – the next day  
****Fort Huachuca  
****Arizona**

"Are you sure that's what it meant?" Agent Winters asked anxiously as he walked closely next to Mac through the well-lit hallway before them. He knew he had questioned her a dozen times since the night before, but again he felt a dire need to be sure they were making the correct assumptions. He also knew questioning Mac's theory was like challenging her relationship with Commander Rabb and the merit it was built on. He didn't care how many annoyed sighs he received in response, only concerned with ensuring they were following the right course before it was too late.

Mac sighed in response once again, just as he expected, as they walked into the U.S. Army Intelligence Center, a headquarters for training army personnel in reconnaissance located at Fort Huachuca. Not only was this base close to Red Rock Mesa, considering they needed to approach by helicopter, it also housed an intelligence center which could aid the CIA ops in tracking and photographing the activities at the specified site. Now walking from the hallway into the huge reconnaissance space, Mac found herself extremely happy to be here, feeling they were that much closer to getting Harm back.

"You have to trust me, Agent Winters. RRM is ... an inside joke between Harm and myself," Mac explained briefly with a soft smile as they stepped up to an Army officer standing behind an array of screens. "Colonel Harding."

Colonel Harding smiled as he turned to them, a strong looking man with rough features, and a few inches taller than Mac. Extending his hand to both of them, he observed, "Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie. I haven't seen you since Bosnia. I have to admit, I hardly expected a Marine officer to ask the Army for help."

Mac smiled. "Well, it was more like the CIA asking for your help, though I am happy for it." Indeed she was. In the moment of crisis, the very moment she was now in, who helped her didn't matter much. Getting Harm back with the least resistance, with the least problems, was her main priority.

"Well, our services are rightly available. Despite having to rescue a squid," Harding remarked with a smirk, as he gazed to Agent Winters. "You wanted to use Black Hawks, I understand?"

Winters nodded. "Yes, Colonel. Black Hawks, Army Rangers, and my CIA ops. I don't want to give the terrorist group a chance to breathe." Mac distinctly remembered Clayton Webb's obsession with using Marine Recon to help do his dirty work. Oddly enough, Winters tended to use Army Rangers and Delta Force, which, along with the distance from Red Rock Mesa, was another reason why Mac found herself at Fort Huachuca rather than the USMC Air Station also in Arizona.

Harding nodded knowingly. "Understood. The President has just been informed of the situation, and has given us authorization to use effective, necessary means to not only rescue Commander Rabb, but to also secure the location." Pausing a bit and moving to a video taken by a satellite of the target, he continued, "With that said, it's best to approach at night, when the Black Hawks have the most advantage because of the advanced technology on board. Once you called, we've been monitoring the location for some time. They've dug into the spot well, hardly noticeable."

Mac stepped a bit closer, seeing only minuscule movements among the huge rock structures. "What kind of force do they have?"

Harding shrugged. "Not seeing much of them, it's hard to tell. Though we assume at least one helicopter, if not more. We're not sure what type, perhaps a Hemy. We've had trouble getting a good read."

"That's likely. A while back, the Marine Corp. Air Station reported a missing Hemy. It left with a few men for a normal test run, and suddenly it was gone. No one could explain it," Mac supplied, remembering the odd case and Harm's involvement in the investigation. He had told her many of the details, much of the base and it's inhabitants under a kind of house arrest to decide how such a breach of security could occur. In the end, many Marines found themselves in court-martial for obstruction of justice to disobeying an order. Needless to say, the entire mess changed the base entirely.

However, in the end, they never found the helicopter, the pilots returning to the base on foot and claiming they were hijacked, yet unable to supply a story worth believing.

"How many men?" Winters asked, stepping closer, his trained eye giving the pictures in front of him a careful read. Needless to say, despite how many men, they would still go in and get Rabb. At the very least, if they didn't get to him in time, finally reaching the main headquarters of this drabble of a terrorist group would be worth it. However, he kept his own personal line of success to himself, especially from Mac. Clearly at this point they were on separate missions. She had served her purpose, despite the numerous instances he had questioned her. In fact, looking at the pictures of evidence in front of him, Winters knew he could question no more. Rabb led them right to the base.

Didn't the CIA want that from him in the first place?

Harding shrugged slightly. "We've counted up to twenty so far."

Mac felt her mind drift to Harm again, seeing him lying helplessly in the deep cave, idle with overwhelming pain, perhaps close to death. Perhaps dreaming of her, just as she was of him. "Have they brought Harm there yet?"

"The only small action that we have observed is a few cars stopping and then leaving. Some of them looked like possibilities of a drop off, but we can't promise anything. Nothing was one hundred percent," Harding explained, clearly wishing he could offer more.

"What's the course of action you recommend?" Winters asked, moving a little further down the panel of screens to gaze at a different view of their target.

Harding rubbed his chin absently, his mind clearly thinking of a plan that offered the most success. To him success meant, at the very least, rescuing Commander Rabb. Sure it would be nice to capture the base, which, at this point, seemed like an easy task if handled correctly. It was safe to assume that these two goals could be accomplished at the same time, with not much standing in their way.

"I would suggest about six Black Hawks, one medi-vac, just in case. Three full of Army Rangers, one with your CIA ops, one with command, and the last with snipers circling the area. I suggest send your CIA ops and a chalk of Army Rangers inside, the second and third chalks land outside to protect the perimeter. The Black Hawks stay afloat and provide cover with the snipers and any possible helicopters that may try to leave," Harding explained quickly, gazing to Mac, who smiled knowingly at the plan. It was a basic snatch and grab, except with a little twist of CIA intelligence.

Winters may be after important papers, perhaps even assuming this was the headquarters he had been searching for.

Mac, however, briefly moved her hand to her neck, touching the second set of dog tags hanging closely against her own.

_For me, _Mac thought, _it's personal._

_Very personal._

**2010 MST  
****Approaching Red Rock Mesa  
****Arizona**

Harm vaguely heard the sound of the loud engine, the truck puffing and grunting as it moved along at a fast pace. Lying in the small back seat, he pulled instinctively at his bonds as he easily gained consciousness. Only then did he realize how scrunched he felt in the small space, his tall frame barely able to fit. Gazing to the two seats ahead of him, he saw his two captors, heard them talking quietly. Harm sighed slightly as he felt the pain from his injuries begin to enter his attention span finally. Some of it he's been able to drown out, ignore, and even forget about it. Other injuries, such as his back, which already ached before this little escapade, and his chest could not be ignored, only dealt with.

Looking out the back left window and seeing the familiar foreground flipping past like a silent picture, he knew exactly where they were and how close they had come. The trip had taken all night and all the next day, the travel slow and steady, and the two captors only stopping to eat and relieve themselves. During those short moments, Harm sensed it would be a catastrophe to attempt to escape with so many people around. Any number of things could go wrong, especially when he wasn't at full health.

Now, however, getting close to their destination, Harm felt the chance to escape arise. Sure, escaping from them in the middle of the dessert was both clever and stupid, remembering that though this was his best chance, there would be nowhere for him to go. However, feeling the absence of his dog tags clearly, deep down he knew Mac was coming for him. He knew it would only be a matter of time. All he would have to do is wait. Actually, he felt it was best to do this, to stay out of the cave at Red Rock Mesa at all costs.

Feeling the truck begin to slow, Harm felt his heart jump with anticipation, his pain making itself known even more, reminding him of his own line of tolerability. This exertion of force might take more energy and more flexibility than he had. However, thinking of Mac, her image floating in his mind, he knew nothing could stop him. He had to keep going.

Just as suddenly, the small door to the back opened up, an arm reaching in and grabbing him, pulling him out and on his feet. Just as suddenly, Harm turned and nailed him across the head with his bound hands without giving his plan of escape a second thought. Turning, ignoring the pain searing through his now awakened muscles, he heard a snap of a safety on a gun.

Grabbing the first man who was barely standing as he held his head in his hands from the first blow, Harm swiveled him in front of him as shield in that instant second before the second man could hold up on his intentions. The bullet shot through the first man's chest, giving Harm the distraction he needed to open the front passenger door for another shield, the second bullet nicking off the rusted door.

As the first man dropped helplessly to the ground, the second man came running towards the opened door, only to be grabbed by Harm and slammed against the back of the truck. Harm hit him in the gut and tried to nail him in the face, but could only do so much with his hands bonded so tightly. Instantly, his advantage wavered as the second man pushed him away to take out his gun again, only to have Harm grab it as well.

The struggle continued, moving across the rough dessert floor, sand flying around them because of their scuffed movements. The man shoved him against the front of the truck, his back screaming in pain at the rough hit, only vaguely realizing the gun coming to his face. What made him move his face just in time, he didn't know, but Harm heard the bullet whiz past his left ear, missing him, but again hitting the hood.

Harm grunted as he pushed him down to the ground, the anger and rage rising in him, gaining his balance only enough to knee the man in the gut again.

In the next instant, before Harm had a chance to register anything else ...

The gun went off again.

Harm sucked in a deep breath, falling away from the man, his eyes frantically searching his chest and stomach. Yet nothing hurt, nothing more than usual, and no extra blood.

Gazing to the man in front of him, he realized then this guy's horrible aim had cost him. Writhing, the man yelped as the blood oozed from his stomach, the gun falling from his hands. Harm ran to it quickly, grabbing it before the man realized he had dropped it. Taking it and aiming it at the man's head, he quickly ran through the benefits of killing him. Though there were many, and though he felt a need for revenge, he also couldn't do it. The man would most likely die anyway, and by his own hand. Harm didn't feel it necessary to droop to his level.

Moaning, Harm felt his own pain rising in his muscles, his back, and every part of his body involved in the confrontation. Bending down to the man, he searched his pockets to find the key to his bonds, as well as the keys to the truck.

Finding both, he released his hands, threw the keys to the man and ran to the truck. Closing the passenger door and running to the driver's side, he saw a small radio attached to the dashboard, voices crackling through the poor reception. Aiming, he shot the radio up before throwing the gun into the passenger seat and stepping in. Hastening his movements, knowing full well that radio meant someone would begin missing these two men if they didn't respond, leaving as soon as possible seemed the best idea ever.

Yet as he placed the keys into the ignition and tried to turn the engine over, nothing happened. The truck merely coughed and gasped with each try, his heart racing with fear as he realized God did not want him to escape this horrible torture. Grimacing, he grabbed the gun and stepped out, opened the hood only to be met with an enormous dark cloud of smoke. Stepping back instinctively, he realized then one of the bullets had possibly hit the engine. Whatever happened, the truck was useless.

Grunting again, he placed the gun in his back pocket and began to walk, and then run away from the huge rock formation towering over him. Now all he could hope for, all that was left, was Mac. Normally not a bad thing to depend on, right now he only hoped she was on the trail. He hoped she saw his dog tags, saw the letters he etched, and was coming for him.

Ten minutes into his run he instantly realized he could not go for long. His pain took too much of his energy. Just before him was a small rock jutting out from the dessert, just big enough to hide his presence if he hid behind it. Nearly falling to it, he dropped to his knees and moved to lean against it, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Leaning his head against the rough rock, his chest screaming with pain, his legs like rubber, his back feeling distinctly painful and odd, all he could do was look up at the dark, black sky. The stars twinkled, offering a slight comfort, his mind traveling light years ago.

He remembered then a particular time of worry, a time just like this. He and Mac had been going out for a month, still a little taken aback by their deep feelings for each other. She had left for the U.S.S. Bennington just a few days before, dealing with a court martial that the Captain insisted on having on board. Mac prosecuted the man and he was convicted. Yet the defendant, knowing his career in the Navy was over, took matters in his own hands as he was being taken away. Slugging the guard, he grabbed the man's gun and held the courtroom hostage for nearly three hours before he was taken down.

He remembered that ...

Krennick refused to give him any information other than she was in trouble, giving Harm another reason to dislike the new JAG.

He remembered ...

That night, lying on his couch, gazing up at the ceiling just as he was gazing at the sky now, praying Mac would come to him. Praying she would return.

Praying she would save him ...

Praying they would see each other again ...

**2010 EST  
****5 months prior  
****North of Union Station  
****Washington, D.C.**

_Harm looked blankly at the ceiling up above as he lay comfortably on his couch. The only light in the room came from a lone lamp on a nightstand next to the couch, its glow small, creating an orange orb on the ceiling above. Allowing his eyes to drift in the otherwise dark ceiling, he thought of her, his Mac. His Sarah. She was a thousand miles away, at least, investigating a difficult case. He expected the Admiral to send him with her, just as always, yet this time she separated them. _

_**And what a time to do so**, Harm thought bitterly._

_Just that day the JAG office received word that the man Mac was prosecuting, after hearing his conviction, took everyone in the courtroom hostage. How the man ever got the gun, how he ever got himself free from the guard, one would never know. Though he had been trained as a SEAL, Harm remembered, so that may have something to do with it. Yet now, no more information was available. At least not to Mac's colleagues. If Krennick heard anymore, she didn't share it with anyone else. Perhaps to save them, perhaps to create a small barrier in case the situation got worse._

_Perhaps to hide the truth._

_Maybe Krennick thought she was doing everyone a favor, but Harm only huffed at the thought. He, of all people, needed to know the status of the hostage situation. And maybe she knew of his relationship with Mac, maybe that was why she chose to keep it quiet. Maybe. _

_Yet he had a right to know. Deep down, he had a right._

_He was Sarah's boyfriend ... **I have a right to know!**_

_Hearing a knock at the door, Harm instantly remembered he had ordered a pizza to drown his sorrows in. Smirking, he remembered the numerous times he and Mac shared one together, investigated a case over one, and comforted each other over one. And recently ... held each other over one. _

_Why pizza became their food of romance, Harm would never know. Yet it made him laugh inwardly, the stress of the day melting away just a little. **Mac doesn't even have to be here to make me laugh**, he observed with a smile. _

_"Come in," he shouted lightly to the door. The last thing he wanted to do was get up from this position, yet he was also hungry, barely eating anything all day due to his workload and his worry for Mac. Sitting up on the couch, he heard the door open as he turned away from it to grab his wallet off the coffee table. Taking out twenty dollars, he stood and moved toward the door, only to feel a need to sit down again at the sight suddenly before him._

_In the dim light from the lamp, Mac's face was only slightly under shadow as she stepped up to him, wearing her summer fatigues and her hair still up, the bag she always used on carrier trips slung over her shoulder. "Hey you," she whispered, unable to hide her joy at seeing his handsome face, his casual dress in shorts and a T-shirt. Gesturing to the money in his hand, she chided gently, "I thought I was worth more than that."_

_Harm's face slipped from awe to a huge smile, his own joy gleaming from his deep blue eyes. "Mac ..." he began, stepping up to her as she dropped her bag to the floor next to her. "I didn't expect you back until Monday."_

_Shrugging slightly, Mac answered quietly, folding her arms, "Well, after everything that happened ...", yet she couldn't finish, her gaze shifting to the floor, the fear of those three hours oddly stilling her in a way no other dangerous moment in her life had, save maybe the experience with Sadik. _

_Harm turned from joy to serious as he gazed into her eyes, her cheeks flush with red that could mean any of three things; either one, she was embarrassed, two; she was excited, or three; she was extremely saddened. Being home finally, Harm didn't know why she would feel the latter, his own confusion evident as he asked gently, taking her hand, "What?" _

_Finally looking up to him, no other words said, she embraced him, burying her head into his firm shoulder, the comfort of his arms something she had longed for, yearned for during the past few days. "Just hold me," she whispered gently, her arms tight around his waist, Harm feeling his heart catch in his throat as he buried his own face in her neck. _

_However, the moment wasn't meant to last as another knock on the door echoed through the silent apartment. Harm sighed gently and lifted his head to look down at her, smiling. "Pizza," he whispered, seeing her immediately smirk in return._

_"So you did know I was coming," she observed playfully through her serious eyes, getting a wide smile from the tall man before her._

_Shrugging, he replied, "I thought it might get you to come back." Mac laughed lightly at that, watching as he moved to the door to answer it. Walking into the kitchen, the events of the day began to fill her consciousness again. For some time she had kept it out, kept her mind on Harm, on being here, on being in his arms. Counting on his comfort to drive her hurt away. Yet perhaps he had dealt with the same type of hurt that she had, though thousands of miles away from it._

_Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed two small bottles of soda and turned to see Harm place the pizza on the small island before sliding on a stool. Standing opposite of him, she slid him a diet Coke as he opened the pizza box to reveal her favorite, meat-lovers. Though one side had vegetables, the other side was clearly the complete opposite. "Were you going to eat all of that?" she asked, unable to hide a small smile._

_Harm shrugged sheepishly, a small smile playing over his lips, "Well, I was just going to pick off all of that crap, because I couldn't see myself ordering a pizza without at least pretending you were here to eat it with me."_

_Mac felt her heart 'awe' in response, despite how strange the idea would seem to someone else. To her, it meant he really missed her. Yet the thought made her wonder. "What did you hear?"_

_Harm sipped his diet Coke before answering, "Just that the entire court room was taken hostage."_

_Mac grimaced. "That's it?"_

_Harm only nodded, wishing to keep his feelings of helpless worry to himself. Mac's silence, however, urged him to ask with concern, "What happened?" Maybe she needed to talk about it, which seemed likely. He remembered when she stabbed the poacher during their lost time in the woods ages ago. The man had tried to kill her, possibly rape her, and she gutted him with his own knife. It was then Harm knew how strong this woman was, yet, in the same instance, how vulnerable she could be. The incident had affected her quite a bit, the need to kill, though normal in their line of work, still an unwelcome feeling. And eventually Mac wanted to discuss it._

_However, Mac wouldn't budge here, saying in a careful whisper, "I really don't want to talk about it." _

_Harm only nodded, deciding to wait and let Mac set the tone. Just as before, and just as with every other moment of struggle in their lives, they eventually came to each other. He just needed to wait and be patient. _

"_How have you been doing?" Mac asked with a little more cheer, though Harm knew he would always be able to tell her real mood from her eyes. At the moment, her eyes spoke of heavy sadness._

_Harm shrugged. "Okay. Mattie's settling in well. Tomorrow I have to move more of her things."_

_"I'll help," Mac remarked immediately with a comforting smile. She knew what the experience with Mattie has done to him. He worked his butt off to get custody of the girl, going through emotional hell with her father, with Mattie, and even, Mac had to admit, with her. And he stuck to it, gave the girl everything she needed to get back on track. Yet, after her father became well again and after month or so of reestablishing their relationship, Harm felt it was best they tried to take the next step; allowing them to live as a family. Though he promised both he would keep an observing eye on them, just in case. _

_And after all of that, after all of the sacrifices Harm has made, he's back to the beginning. Mac could see it, could see the enormous loss he was enduring. And in every way she could, Mac has tried to be there for him. Because in the end, all they had was each other, right? _

_Harm smiled in return. "Thanks. I just ...". Yet he stopped, not wanting to continue. _

_Mac reached a hand over, taking his in hers, insisting gently, "What?" In that moment, Mac saw it. They were hiding. And not just from the problems they were dealing with at the moment, but also from that kiss. Actually, Mac realized they had not discussed it, nor had they been alone long enough to do so. It was a taboo subject, something they acted like they had forgotten, yet it was on the very edge of their minds, lingering. The kiss stemmed not just from the passion they felt, but from the ability to completely let go in each other's presence. And it didn't just mean talking about their problems, but really sharing them._

_It was something they had not done since this all began. Since Paraguay. Since Australia. Since he left JAG years ago._

_And it was the core of the problem for Mac. And deeply, she knew it was the same with Harm._

_Harm just shook his head. "Nothing."_

_Mac decided then to make the first move. In reality, she dealt with a lot of raging emotions during her time on the carrier. And all of them had to do with Harm. Every last one. "Harm, I think we need to talk."_

**I'm so tired of being here**

_Harm looked up then. "All right."_

_Mac sighed before saying, "When I was in that courtroom today, the gun aimed at me, at all of us, I was thinking of one thing." Pausing slightly, she stated quietly, "You."_

_Harm smiled, adding, "I was thinking of you, too."_

**Suppressed by all my childish fears**

_Mac continued quietly, "I wasn't just thinking of you, but I was thinking of never getting to see you again. Of the fear we have towards each other when we're together. Of never facing that fear, taking full advantage of finally being together. And I thought of our kiss, our unwillingness to talk about it, or really, to admit there's more here than we ever thought possible." _

**And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave**

_Harm only continued to stay quiet, listening intently as she continued, stepping back to lean against the sink behind her, arms folded, "I have feared losing you before. But never like this. Before I feared losing you as a friend, and the remote possibility of something more. In that courtroom today, I feared I let that very real possibility of being together slip out of my grasp ... all because I was afraid, and I knew if I died then I wouldn't have lived my life to the fullest. A life that involved you." _

**'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**

_The last few words came in a whisper, Harm sighing carefully as he realized Mac's feelings mirrored his own. Gazing down at his pizza for a second, he then stood and moved around the small island to stand in front of her. Feeling Mac's bravery in this very moment, he knew it was his turn. This was Mac. His Mac, his Sarah. The words that have echoed in his mind all night. He can't be afraid. Not of this. Not of something that would fulfill every dream, every fantasy, and every future he ever wanted. _

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

_"I've been thinking of you every second," Harm began, deciding to lean back against the island just behind him, his own arms folded, "First when I was moving Mattie, and then tonight. After I heard the courtroom was taken hostage, I couldn't stop mulling over what would happen if I never saw you again. What did I just let pass me by? All because I've been afraid."_

**This pain is just too real**

_Mac reached out, taking his hand in hers again. "Because we've both been afraid."_

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

_Harm then stepped up to her, only inches away, stretching his arms out to the sink behind her, trapping her, asking in a whisper, "Why are you afraid?" _

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

_Mac felt his presence, almost intoxicating, filling her world, the fear beginning to melt under his eyes, under his quiet promises. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want to get hurt again." The response came so honestly, in a hushed whisper only meant for Harm to hear and no one else. Because only he could see. Caressing his cheek, she asked, "Why are you afraid?"_

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

_Feeling her soft touch, he responded with deep honesty, "Because I've never felt this way about anyone. And I don't want to lose your friendship." _

**I held your hand through all of these years**

_Mac knew the barrier had been broken. The veil was lifted, and suddenly they saw each other for the first time. They saw why it took each of them nine years, why they have been so guarded with their heart, and why they were so afraid to jump. Why they were so afraid to love each other. The moment made her heart race just a bit, its rhythm her only reminder that she was sitting on earth rather than on a cloud high in the sky. _

**But you still have**

_Wrapping her arms around his neck, the intensity characterizing every word and every motion shared on this night, feeling his hands on her back on now, she stated with great emotion, "I don't want to be afraid anymore."_

_Harm moved his lips to kiss her cheek, and then slipped them to her ear. "Let's be brave together."_

**All of me**

_Mac closed her eyes, knowing she would never be the same again. This night would change both of them, and with it came every past emotion, every past moment of angst and anger, of fear and loneliness, of wishing and crying ... all leading up to this, all characterizing this moment, all remembered yet forgotten in the time to come. _

_This time was theirs._

**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
**

_Feeling his kisses on her cheek again, then to her chin, then finally grazing her lips, Mac let herself go. The kiss was soft and sensual, not as heavy and intense as the last. Yet the heat was more powerful than anything she had ever felt as she slipped a hand to the back of his neck, deepening it ever so slightly. And for the first time she knew nothing was stopping them. This was their moment, reserved only for them, and Mac knew, feeling Harm's soft kisses move along her jaw line, then to her neck, that she would remember this moment for the rest of their lives._

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

_Rather than considering the ramifications of their actions, or considering exactly how different every thing would be after this night, Mac threw all of that away, leaving only Harm, his hands pulling her along towards the stairs, his breath to her skin causing her to lose herself. And perhaps it was the intoxicating feeling of being in his arms, or perhaps her own concentration with each kiss to his neck and shoulders that caused her to forget exactly where they were, a surprised urgency at feeling the bed just behind her. _

**Your face it haunts  
****My once pleasant dreams**

_Stopping momentarily, a little short of breath, she looked into his deep blue eyes, seeing them close as her hand caressed his cheek once again. It had been a long time since she felt this intimate with anyone, if at all. Each caress, each soft touch, each kiss so meaningful, so careful, so strong as it brushed their souls. Never did she feel this way with anyone. Not Clay. Not Mic. _

_Only now._

_Only with Harm. _

**Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me**

_Grabbing his shirt, she lowered herself on the bed and pulled him with her, his weight a blanket of warmth, his hands to her uniform moving gently and carefully. Before long, as he kissed her deeply again, she felt soft caresses across her stomach, her own actions gaining momentum as she helped him remove his shirt. And again they stopped to look at each other, somewhat surprised by their actions, but at the same time a sense of relief, a sense of finally being exactly where they wanted to be. _

_Realizing they wanted to be nowhere else the rest of their lives._

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**

_Mac felt a small smile cross her lips, Harm lowering his head to hers, the intense intimacy shared once again as she traced the back of her hand across his cheek, and then moving her thumb to touch his chin. And Mac knew this was what they were missing all these years. This was what they were so afraid of. This was what was waiting for them on the other side, waiting for each to be ready to experience it together. _

_As one. _

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

_The night continued, the intimacy intensifying with each moment, with every kiss, with every caress, every soft breath, and with every new discovery that came. Finally Mac thought of Harm as exactly who he has been to her for nine years, one way or another. He was her best friend, has always been._

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

_But now he was her lover._

**I held your hand through all of these years**

_He was hers._

**But you still have**

_And she was his._

**All of me**

_Lying in his arms that night, having taken the step that neither thought they could, Mac knew they had been there for each other and would continue to be. _

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

_As she lied awake, stretched out on top of Harm, gazing down at his sleeping, calm face, Mac began to consider what they had just done. She never thought it would be like this, and yet, deep in her soul, she knew the night would be like this and so much more. _

**But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**

_Again her hand went to his face, caressing it, feeling him instinctively lean into her touch softly and gently as her thumb traced across his lips. _

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

_In that moment, she felt a nice breeze, realizing she had forgotten about the fan that Harm had placed in the room because of the heat wave in Washington. Looking at it, it's spin calm and comfortable, a sense of relief washed over her. And Mac knew immediately the relief reached much deeper than the instant, physical comfort. _

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

_Gazing down at Harm again, feeling his arms around her, her body pressed against his, she knew she wasn't afraid any longer. _

**I held your hand through all of these years**

_They would always trust each other. They would share everything with each other. And they would be there for each other always. _

**But you still have**

_Above all ... they would love each other from this day forward._

**All of me**

_At the very thought, overcome with emotion, Mac reached over and kissed him gently before laying back down. Nuzzling his neck, a soft kiss to his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him once again, her eyes finally fell on the spinning blades of the fan before falling into a deep sleep. _

**2030 MST  
****Approaching Red Rock Mesa  
****Arizona**

Sitting at the edge on the side of the Black Hawk, dressed in CIA fatigues again and holding her pistol, Mac's eyes gazed up into the propellers, their movement much faster than her own eye, yet it's movements reminding her of the fan that night, the comfort and relief that came during that moment with Harm. Remembering that night, everything they shared and would continue to share afterwards, made her eyes fill quickly with tears of considering the real possibility of never finding him.

Of that moment lost forever ...

Why did she feel she was never going to see him again? Why did she think of that moment now, the most important moment of their relationship? Why was she suddenly acting like this was it? All of it, everything they meant to each other, and the future they wanted together, would survive only on what happened right now?

What was she missing?

Sighing, Mac gazed down below her, the ground eerily hidden by the cloud of sand and dust taken up by the suction of the propellers as they moved quickly along. The cloud seemed familiar, something about this picture recalling another trust issue she shared with Harm not too long ago.

In fact, Mac realized with a curious gaze, not long ago at all.

Feeling a dam breaking inside of her, observing the cloud as if it was the last clue leading her to Harm, she shouted into her radio, "Let me off."

Winters, who had been checking his guns and his little gadgets, looked to her with great question. "What?"

"I said put me down now," Mac insisted, this time much more forcefully, her eyes looking to meet his, suggesting there was no mistake in her request.

"Why?" Winter asked, obviously confused.

Mac shook her head. "Just put me down. I want off. You go ahead, but I want on the ground now." Instinctively, she felt a sudden urge of needing to find Harm on her own, and remembering why it was so important.

Winters sighed, his eyes displaying his confusion and unwillingness to comply. However, again he knew Mac would never do anything stupid, and obviously had a reason for her actions. "Okay, but I go with you, Colonel."

Mac pushed him back as they began to descend. "No, stay here. I mean it. That's an order, Agent Winters."

Winters shuffled back as the helicopter dropped to the ground, Mac giving him a reassuring nod and wink before jumping off. Inwardly he cursed himself for letting her go alone, and hoped to God that she would be able to take care of herself. Granted, she was a Marine, but something irked him with this new change of plan. Something didn't seem quite right.

Mac, however, new exactly what she was doing. Why she hadn't thought of it before, she didn't know. Perhaps it had something to do with her initial reaction when first hearing Harm speak of it. Perhaps she was so overwhelmed with losing Harm that she didn't think of the obvious, didn't remember what was really going on. So lost in his proposal, so lost in their relationship, and so lost in losing him so suddenly.

Now the memory of Harm caused her to think of it.

The dream ...

How could she forget?

Running along the dessert now, the cold night chill once again brushing across her face, she only hoped it wasn't too late. She hoped she thought of this in time, and hoped Harm was where she suspected.

The helicopters soaring overhead, the sand blowing up in front of her eyes, made the search that much difficult, and soon she found herself only about 20 feet away from the huge rock formation. Looking around frantically, gazing in every direction, her eyes caught an object lone in the dark night. Staring at it hard, taking in its shape, she soon figured it was a truck.

Sighing deeply, she moved carefully along the surface, being careful to keep her presence unknown. With the CIA ops and Army Rangers moving in, the last thing they may be looking for is her moving along their perimeter. In a way, the Rangers, she knew, had become a distraction from the real rescue of Harm. Deep down, she knew he was here somewhere. He knew he never made it up to the cave.

Reaching the truck, Mac saw what she didn't expect; one of the terrorist members lying dead. Walking around it, she checked inside the truck quickly to find nothing, and soon bent to check the body to ensure he was dead. Convinced, she then swiveled her head in all directions, her eyes searching the horizon frantically for any sign of Harm.

Closing her eyes, her mind again searching for Harm, her soul trying to hear his call, she knew the only course of action to take was to keep searching.

And that's exactly what she did.

**2040 MST  
****Along Red Rock Mesa  
****Arizona**

Opening his eyes carefully, Harm gazed up at the sky, realizing now he was lying flat on the ground. How he got like this, he had no clue. Only that his back now shouted with pain from lying on such rough terrain. Sleeping was probably not a good idea right now, though the urge to do so was taking hold. So out of strength, so tired and exhausted, he barely heard the rushing, loud sound in the sky. It was coming from behind him, he knew, and as he continued to gaze in the sky, he smiled more widely than ever. The dark images, the outlining of huge metallic structures, rushed past his view, their sound unmistakable.

Helicopters.

Black Hawks, he noted.

They were coming for him.

Harm found a second wind, sitting up, ignoring the pain, watching as they approached Red Rock, three of them landing in sequential order, dropping men, before lifting off and circling. They had come.

Though he couldn't stand very well, he tried anyway, his legs weak and rubbery as he began to walk. Not realizing it before, the helicopters circling began to create a dusty, sandy wall all around him. Barely able to see, he tried to walk, trying to wade and squint through the fog. Trying to keep his eyes open soon became a challenge, the sand and dust fighting his vision.

Yet one thing he didn't miss. One thing that stood out, and in this fog he wondered how it could, was a figure. Breathing rapidly, eyes squinting, he saw what he couldn't believe. He saw what he had seen in his dreams, in his heart and soul. The figure obviously noticed him and began to run towards him.

And as the figure approached, Harm still at least a hundred yards away, he heard his name called. "Harm!"

Mac! Harm's mind shouted her name. His voice still felt strained, his throat slightly raw, he fought to say her name, shout it as loud as he could, "Sarah!" Though unable to see her really well, he could tell she sounded extremely worried. Well, it was to be expected. They hadn't seen each other in a week. He almost died, they almost never saw each other again.

In fact, he felt his own desperation rising, knowing he wouldn't be happy until they were in each other's arms.

It was then he saw a second figure running towards him, behind Mac. So familiar the scene, barely remembering how tortured he had been by this image, he again shouted her name, this time in intense warning, "Sarah!"

Before Harm knew it, an explosion burst in front of Mac, sending her falling to her feet. And then another. And another. Shouting her name again, he struggled with his broken body, running as fast as he could towards her, though it turned quickly into a limped jog. Holding his side, he continued to shout her name, kept seeing the undisclosed figure approaching them.

And then he saw Mac struggling to stand, and turning towards the approaching man, only to see him pull out his pistol and shoot once, twice, and a third. Harm could only watch as Mac fell quickly to the ground, and screamed his own pain, hearing a snap across his ear, tripping in reaction and falling helpless to the dessert floor. On his hands and knees, he tried to crawl, but could do nothing, had no energy left to fight as the man continued to close the gap.

Harm tried to stand, attempted to at least get to his knees, the man only twenty feet away, his mind racing. Remembering his own gun in his back pocket, he grimaced at his stupidity, pulling out his own gun and aiming it, only to snap it and have nothing happen.

The man aimed his own gun, Harm soon realizing it was one of his captors back from the dead, again wanting to scream at himself for not making sure they were dead and making another mistake.

And before Harm could think further, a shot rang out.

Instinctively, Harm jerked backwards, expecting searing pain, expecting to see blood, expecting to see darkness.

Yet there was nothing.

Only the confused image before him, watching as the man stood still for only a second before falling quickly to the ground.

And behind him, pistol pointed, known for amazingly accuracy, stood Mac.

His Sarah.

Harm felt his heart beat rapidly, only to feel his weakness finally overcome as he dropped backwards to the ground in total exhaustion. Deep in his gut he knew it was over. He knew he had made it back to her, that Sarah had made it to him. That through everything, they found each other again. Closing his eyes, the loud, thumping sound of the helicopters continuing to circle, he barely registered the presence sitting next to him. Barely felt the soft touch to his cheek, only by instinct opening his eyes to see Mac kneeling and staring down at him.

"Hey, you," Mac said with a huge smile, though laced with worry as she moved her hands to his face, not only in comfort, but observing his time in captivity.

Harm smiled weakly. "I knew you'd come."

Mac could hardly suppress her emotions, tears beginning to fill her strong eye, not only at seeing him, but seeing what they had done to him. Why couldn't she have gotten to him sooner?

Bending down, she took his set of dog tags off her neck and placed them around his neck gently, kissed him, and whispered gently, "I never left you."

Harm could only offer a weak smile, though glowing underneath the sudden safety and comfort of his rescue, of Mac's love. And under all of that, he finally felt himself slip into unconsciousness, allowing the exhaustion and pain to take him into a much-needed deep sleep.

And because of this, he didn't hear the medi-vac land close by, didn't feel his body being raised inside, didn't feel a kiss to his cheek, Mac's lips to his ear, nor did he hear her words, her whisper.

"Ask me again, I'll say yes."

... _One more chapter left ..._

... _I hope all have enjoyed this ... _

... _Reviews most definitely welcome ..._


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